Stay With Me
by BlueEyedCountryGirl
Summary: SawyerOC. Revised from earlier version. Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when a plane crashes. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she is discovered and brought back to meet two
1. A New Edition

**Author Note: This is a revised version of what I had posted earlier. I took out some things, added some things and worked on it a bit more and I think its much better than it was. Once you get past the first few paragraphs it gets better. The story starts during season 1. Please review.**

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

Being stranded on an island for, well she stopped counting the days a long time ago. But being all-alone, well it wasn't easy. It was lonely; she had been on her way home from Australia of all places when the plane crashed. Most of the passengers were killed upon impact and the ten that had survived decided not to stick together, they all went out on their own. She had gone with one of the other passengers, a guy, but he was now dead, killed by the mysterious monster. The monster she had never seen and was glad she hadn't seen. She hadn't seen any of the other passengers since the crash. them since. She missed her home, her older brother especially, and her mom and dad. She even missed the guy she had been dating even if he was a jerk and said another woman's name when they were having sex. In fact if this guy hadn't said another woman's name while they were in bed together she might not have gotten on that plane to Australia. She was going to cancel her trip to stay with him. Now she stood behind some trees watching as more passengers struggled to figure out where they were and what they were going to do. Another plane had crashed she tried to glance at the people, one of them looked familiar. She made a decision, not to go anywhere near them, keep her distance at least she could depend on herself. Depending on herself was better at least she knew what to expect from herself. With that thought she turned and went back to her home in the jungle.

The next day she was watching the survivors of the plane crash and saw three people, two men and a woman wander into the jungle. She wondered where they were going so she quietly followed from a distance far enough away where they couldn't see her but where she could see them; she still hadn't seen their faces. As she follows them still wondering where they were going until they come upon the plane wreckage and she watches as the three of them go inside and after they have been inside a while she hears the sound she has come to fear. She runs for it not waiting to see what happens but hoping they have enough sense to run for it as well.

She wants to stay away from the survivors but finds herself drawn to the beach, to see what they are going to do. What keeps her coming back, maybe it's the fact she's been alone with no one to talk to for a long time that makes her go. Maybe it's the fact she has been so lonely for to long that makes her go watch them. When she looks from her hiding place she sees a girl in a bikini actually sunbathing and a familiar looking guy talking to her, but she turns her attention elsewhere quickly. She watches a couple, she thinks they are Korean, the man seems upset about something. She then turns to see two men fighting and she sees others doing there best to break them up. As she watches to see what everyone is going to do, she realizes they are going back into the jungle so she quickly runs off again not wanting to be found, not wanting to find out what they would do if they found her.

One of the survivors decides to go off into the jungle a few days later. He wants to get a location of the signal they heard. As he is walking he hears a sound behind him as if someone is following him and he stops.

"Is someone there?" he asked looking around and no one says anything, so he continues walking and he hears someone again and he is positive that someone is following him. So he starts to walk again and manages to double back and whoever is following him makes a run for it when they realize what he is doing but they are not fast enough to get away from him. He catches up with them and grabs them making the person fall to the ground; he falls on top of them. He looks down; it's a girl.

"Get off of me," she demanded pushing his chest and he gets up and then extends his hand and pulls her up.

"Why were you following me?" he asked.

"I wasn't following you," she lied.

"Yes you were," he said and he took a look at her. "I haven't seen you before, were you on our plane?"

"No," she said looking up at him.

"You were here before we crashed?"

"Yes."

"Then how long have you been here?"

"I don't know, I stopped counting a long time ago. I figured there was no use in counting, I was never getting off this island anyway," she said. "What year is it?" she asked.

"2005," he answered.

"Three years already."

"Three years," the guy said shocked.

"My plane crashed as well," she told him answering his question before he asked it.

"My name is Sayid, who are you?"

"Natalie," she said.

"Well Natalie, why don't you come to the beach with me, maybe you can help us out and we can help you."

"I don't think so. I don't think I want to be around people anymore, people let you down and disappoint you, I'm much better off on my own," she said. " I know I can depend on myself."

"I know you've been watching us," Sayid said. "I haven't seen you but I've heard you," he added and she said nothing "I wish you would reconsider and come back with me to the beach, you have to be lonely out here all by yourself."

"Yeah I am," she whispered before she could stop herself.

"Then come back with me, you don't have to stay if you don't want to," he told her and he saw she still looked unsure. "You can trust me Natalie."

"Sayid," she said. "I just don't know."

"Well its your decision," he said. "But I think it's a good idea if you come, better than being alone."

"Ok I'll come with you for now," Natalie said. "I'm not promising I'll stay though."

"That's good enough for now, so lets go," Sayid said and he led her back to the beach.

As they got closer to the beach Natalie stopped.

"What is it Natalie?"

"Are you sure this is a good idea? I mean what is everyone going to think when you show up with me?" she asked nervously tucking a piece of hair behind her ear.

"I don't know,"

"Great," she muttered.

"Look, I'm taking you to Jack first," Sayid said and led her to Jack.

"Jack," Sayid said.

"Yeah what is it?" Jack said.

"I found something in the jungle that might interest you," Sayid said.

"What did you find?" Jack asked interested and he turned around. Natalie was hiding behind Sayid.

"I think who is the more appropriate question," Sayid said.

"Alright who did you find?" Jack asked.

"Come on," Sayid said and he led Natalie out from behind him.

"This is Natalie, her plane crashed three years ago," Sayid said and Jack looked at her.

"Jack," Natalie whispered shocked.

"Nattie," Jack said in shock. "Is it really you?"

"Jack," she whispered in shock.

"Natalie," he said standing in front of her, "Oh my God, I don't believe it," he said and touched her face as if he didn't believe she was there.

"You know each other?" Sayid said.

"Yeah she's my sister," Jack told him.


	2. Jack's Sister

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

"Excuse me did you say your sister?" Sayid asked.

"Yeah, Natalie is my sister," Jack said. "We thought she was dead, her plane disappeared three years ago, the plane was never found," Jack explained.

"Oh, well I'll leave you two to talk then, I'm sure you have some catching up to do." Sayid said and left.

"Natalie," Jack said and he pulled her to him and hugged her. Natalie returned the hug. "I wish I had known, I would have looked for you." He said and looked at her, "Everyone said it was no use looking for you because we would never find you and you were most likely dead anyway. I shouldn't have believed them I knew you weren't dead," Jack said. "I'm sorry I didn't try to find you."

"Jack slow down, its ok. I'm basically ok," She assured him.

"Yeah but you've been here alone for three years. Sit down and tell me are there anymore survivors of your crash."

"I don't think so, we lost touch not long after the crash. I've been on my own pretty much since the crash."

"Oh. I'm sorry Nattie," Jack said. "I should have done something more."

"There was nothing you could have done," Natalie told him. "So tell me how's Mom and Daddy."

"Mom she's good. But Dad, Natalie Dad is dead."

"What?" she asked tears in her eyes.

"That's why I was in Australia, I was looking for him. He's gone now." Jack told her. "I was bringing his body back when we crashed."

"Wow I find my brother and loose my dad all in the same day," she said and a tear ran down her cheek.

"I'm sorry Natalie," Jack said and he wiped the tear away.

"I know Dad was always hard on you Jack and that you think he didn't really love you and that he wasn't proud of you but he was."

"No he wasn't, He was always telling everyone about you. He was so proud of you Nattie."

"Even though I didn't become doctor like he wanted?"

"Yeah," Jack said. "I would really like it if you stayed with us, I've missed you and now that you're back and alive and all that, I don't want to risk losing you again," he added. "So will you stay?"

"For now I will, but you have to understand that there may come a time when I have to go and your going to have to let me if that time comes and not ask any questions."

"Ok then," Jack said smiling and pulled her into another hug.

Sayid was further down on the beach, when he ran into Sawyer.

"Well Ali, returned from the jungle of mystery already, find what you were looking for?" he asked rudely and Sayid stopped

"No, I found something better."

"What?"

"I think who is the better question."

"Who?" Sawyer asked.

"Jack's sister," Sayid said and walked off.

"Jack has a sister," Sawyer said and his curiosity getting the better of him went to find Jack to see for himself.

When Sawyer found Jack he was talking to a girl that he hadn't seen on the beach before, not that he had actually paid attention to who everyone was. Jack and the girl started walking toward the beach, which meant they were heading his way. From what he could tell she was pretty, a little on the short side but pretty.

"Hey Doc," Sawyer said when they got close to him and he glanced at Natalie, she glanced over at him.

"Sawyer," he said. "Natalie this is Sawyer, the guy you should stay away from." he said, "No one likes him," Jack whispered to her.

"Hi Sawyer," Natalie said smiling at him. _"Wow he's hot," Natalie thought_. She sensed an air of danger around him and she also sensed that he really didn't give a damn about anyone but himself.

"Is she really your sister?" Sawyer asked as his eyes traveled over her body "That's what Sayid said."

"Yes she is," Jack said and walked away. "Come on Natalie."

"Bye," Natalie said and ran to catch up with Jack.

"So Sawyer," she said.

"Has done nothing but cause trouble, just stay away from him Ok Natalie," he said and she nodded but Jack had a feeling she wouldn't listen to him.

When they got to the beach they saw Kate talking to Sayid.

"Jack," Kate said when she saw him walking over "Who is that with him?"

"His sister Natalie," Sayid answered.

"His sister," Kate repeated as they stopped in front of them.

"Hey Kate, This is my sister Natalie, this is Kate."

"Hey," she said.

"I thought you were alone on the plane," Kate stated.

"I was," Jack said.

"Then your sister, how is it she's here?"

"Jack, doing this over and over again is going to get old. I mean how many times am I going to have to do this?" she asked. "It would be better if I just left and went back."

"No," Jack and Sayid said.

"I want you to stay there's a meeting tonight, I'll introduce you to everyone at the same time," Jack said

I have some questions for you since you've been here three years as well," Sayid said.

"Three years," Kate said stunned.

"Yes," Sayid said. "Spread the word and we'll have a meeting."

Later that evening, everyone gathered for the meeting.

"Alright I've called you all here for a specific reason," Jack said. "There has been a new edition to our camp. Today Sayid found a girl in the jungle. A girl that had been stranded here for three years. She's here now and I want you to all meet her. My sister Natalie," Jack said. "Come on Natalie," Jack said and she walked over. "That's all I wanted to do," he added and walked off, Natalie quickly followed him. Sayid was right behind them

"Natalie," he said and she stopped. "Can I talk to you?"

"Sure Sayid, I'll find you later ok Jack."

"Ok," he said nodding.

"I wonder if I could ask you some questions," Sayid said.

"I don't know if I have any answers but I'll try, you reunited me with my brother so I kind of owe you."

"Alright do you have any idea what this monster, this thing that lives in the jungle is?"

"I have many ideas, one is as ridiculous as the next. But then again I've lived here for three years and noticed things, seen things that aren't normal."

"Like?"

"A polar bear." Natalie said.

"Oh."

"I hear voices sometimes and it sounds like they're all around me but no one's there and I know that," Natalie said. "Sometimes I think I'm going crazy."

"I don't think your crazy," Sayid told her.

"So you've never seen the monster?"

"No, I probably wouldn't be alive if I had."

"That's what I thought."

"Anything else?" Natalie asked.

"Not know, but maybe later on."

"Alright," Natalie said and walked off.

"So Princess how did you survive here three years all on your own?" someone said and she turned around.

"Sawyer, you say that like you doubt I could survive."

"Well Princess, you don't seem like the ruthless and mean type," he said smiling. _"He would have dimples," she thought_

"First off do not call me Princess," she told him. "And you don't know me Sawyer so you have no idea what I'm capable of doing."

"True Shortcake," he said.

"When you're stranded, with no way of escaping, you learn you have to do what you have to do to survive. Survival of the fittest." Natalie told him.

"Alrighty Shortcake," Sawyer said. "Answer this, What is this thing that keeps making noise in the jungle."

"Like I told Sayid I don't know," Natalie said and walked away.

The next day Natalie woke up and saw Jack not to far from her, he was already up of course, she doubted whether he had slept at all.

"Morning," Jack said.

"Yeah Morning Jack," she said getting up. She washed her face and ran her fingers through her hair.

"I'm just going to take a walk alright," she said and Jack nodded.

Natalie didn't want Jack to know but she was hoping she might run into Sawyer on her walk. She knew Jack said no one here liked Sawyer and that she should just stay away from him but he intrigued her. He was sexy and to old for her but still, there seemed to be more going on than he wanted to admit. She sighed and walked on. She saw Sawyer coming out of his tent.

"Morning Shortcake," he called and she looked over at him.

"Its Natalie," she told him walking over. She peeked into his tent. "Wow you have a lot of stuff in there, what are you some kind of pack rat?"

"No, I'm resourceful," he said and she rolled her eyes.

"So you're a thief," she said. "This stuff belongs to someone, its not yours," she said.

"I think its called finders keepers Sweetheart," he said smiling and she rolled her eyes at him. "Don't roll your pretty green eyes at me sweetheart," he said.

"Maybe everyone is right to not like you," she said and walked off.

She had gotten a few feet away when she heard someone call her name.

"Natalie," he called and she stopped. She knew that voice and she turned around. She knew those blue eyes.

"Boone," she said, "Boone Carlyle," she added and she flashed back to a time a little over three years ago. Her and Boone were together, his lips were on hers then on her neck as she ran her hands across his bare chest. She snapped out of her thoughts

"Natalie," Boone said and a smile broke out on his face. "I knew it was you, I couldn't believe it. I thought I had lost you forever," he said and he stepped closer to her and grabbed her hand. She jerked it away.

"Natalie what is it?" Boone said. "Do you know how often I've though about you, I missed you."

"Sure you have that's why you called me Shannon when we were in bed together," she said putting her hands on her hips.

"Natalie, Shannon, she…"

"Don't tell me Shannon means nothing to you because it's a lie. I thought you actually did love me I was just a replacement for her. You'll never have anything real with any girl until you let go of Shannon, your step-sister," Natalie told him.

"Natalie," he said and he ran his fingers through her wavy blonde hair.

"Don't Boone," she said stepping away from him. "You called another girls name when we were in bed together and you never even said you were sorry."

"That's because you didn't give me a chance, you flew out of my life and I never saw you again, I thought you were dead that's what everyone thought," he said. "But I am sorry Natalie," he said softly.

"It doesn't matter Boone. I promised myself that if I saw you again I would do something,"

"What?" he asked

"This," she said and slapped him across the face and she walked off leaving Boone stunned.


	3. Cave in

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

**Author Note: This is a revised version of Stay With Me that i had up earlier. I worked on some things and changed it a bit. I hope you like it.**

Natalie was walking back to find Jack.

"Well that was a good slap Shortcake."

"Sawyer," she said. "You saw everything?"

"Yep Sweetheart I did," he said. "Can I ask what that was all about?"

"You can, doesn't mean I have to answer," she told him.

"Fair enough, have a seat," Sawyer said gesturing to the sand and she sat down. Sawyer sat beside her.

"So what the hell did that kid do to deserve to be slapped like that?"

"You care?" she asked annoyed.

"Maybe, maybe not but I'm interested," Sawyer replied. Natalie looked over at him, why not tell him, the worst thing he could do was tell everyone and she figured no one listened to him anyway.

"Well Boone and I dated before I got stranded on this island."

"I see your type is pretty boys then," Sawyer said.

"No pretty boys are not my type," she shot back. "I thought you wanted to know why I slapped Boone."

"Ok go on then," Sawyer said.

"So we dated, we got really close."

"How close?" Sawyer asked smirking and she looked at him knowing he knew the answer but was going to make her say it anyway.

"I have to say it?" she asked and he nodded. "You're going to make me say it?" she added and he nodded. "We slept together ok," she added, "Anyway we were together before I went on the trip that got me stranded here. When we were in bed he said another girls name."

"That hurts," he said.

'Tell me about it," she sighed and tucked her hair behind her ear.

"He apologize for it?" he asked and she shook her head. "Did you give him a chance?" he asked and she shook her head.

"He said another girls name, that proves he wasn't really with me not totally."

"Doesn't mean he didn't care about you," Sawyer said.

"Maybe."

"You have a second chance with your brother and everyone knows I'm not Jack's biggest fan but you should take it, and maybe Boone deserves another chance," Sawyer said. "And just between us if I could do some things over again, have a second chance to fix some things I would."

"Well you've given me a lot to think about. Your not as bad as Jack said you were."

"Yeah but don't let it get out, I have a reputation to protect around here."

"What as the guy who doesn't give a damn about anything or anyone but himself. Sawyer don't alienate yourself from everyone, you'll be sorry if you do. It gets lonely when you're all alone," she told him. I don't believe you're a bad guy."

"Well you don't know me Sweetheart," Sawyer said bluntly.

"Yeah your right I don't," she said and walked away.

"Hey Jack," Natalie said and she walked up to him, He turned around and he looked exhausted "You ok, Jack?" Natalie asked worried.

"Fine," he answered but Natalie didn't believe him.

"You look exhausted, you need to rest."

"People are depending on me, I can't rest," Jack argued.

"Jack you have to take care of yourself and that includes resting and sleeping. You won't do anyone any good if you're tired."

"Maybe your right."

"I am right, so I'm going to go so you can rest," she told him. "And you better rest."

"Where were you before?"

"Oh I talked to Boone."

"Oh Boone, he seems like a good kid."

"Yeah whatever you don't really know him. I was talking to Sawyer as well."

"You should stay away from him, he's nothing but trouble."

"I'll keep that in mind," she said. "I'll leave you to rest, even though you probably won't." she said and walked off.

Natalie went to sit close to the water, she was thinking about what Sawyer had said. Maybe Boone deserved another chance.

"Hi," someone said sitting next to her and Natalie looked over. "I'm Charlie and your Natalie right."

"Right," she said smiling.

"Well I basically wanted to introduce myself, so I'll see you later."

"Alright Bye Charlie," she said and he left. Not much later another guy sat down, an older man.

"Hey Natalie, John Locke," he said.

"Hi, Mr. Locke."

"John is fine," he said and she nodded. "Ok you've been on this island for three years, have you ever got a glimpse of whatever it is that's out there?"

"No I haven't. I never stayed around to see it and the only person I know that's seen it is dead now, so he's no help."

"But what if something else is what's killing everyone?"

"Like what a giant lobster or a crocodile?"

"No, not like that," he said. "When I was out there I saw something and what I saw was beautiful."

"There is nothing beautiful about this place. When I step back and look at it, yes it does have a beauty but the fact I'm stuck here and never getting off makes the beauty disappear."

"Good point," Locke said. "But what if I told you that before I crashed on this island I was in a wheelchair and I couldn't walk."

"I'd say you were lying,"

"I'm not. Something about this island healed me and I can walk now."

"Really this isn't some joke?" she asked in disbelief.

"No it isn't," Locke said and stood up and left.

Natalie stood up as well and walked the opposite way. She saw Sayid and walked over to him.

"Sayid." she said. "What are you doing?"

"Oh Hi Natalie. I'm trying to fix this and we might be able to send a distress call and get help."

"You think it will work?"

"Its worth a shot," Sayid said and she nodded.

"Can I ask you a question this time?" Natalie said.

"What is it?"

"What do you think of John Locke, he seems like a strange guy."

"Yes he is a bit strange but resourceful. He knows stuff and its good we have him around."

"Yeah maybe," Natalie said. "But do you trust him?"

"I don't know," Sayid said. "Do you?"

"I don't know yet., there's just something about him that's off?"

"Maybe," Sayid said. "So do you trust me?" he asked.

"Yeah I do."

"Good," he said. "Yes I trust you," he said before she could ask.

A few days later Natalie still hadn't talked to Boone, in fact she had been avoiding him, she had been talking to everyone else and right now she was talking to Sawyer, Jack was trying to convince everyone to go to the caves he had found. He thought they were safer and well not everyone agreed.

"So, are you going to the caves?" she asked Sawyer.

"Nope I'm staying right here," he said.

"I figured that's what you'd say," Natalie said.

"So what about you, will you go to the caves?"

"Probably so, Jack's going so, I want to be where he is you know," she said and he nodded.

"So have you given anymore thought to your situation with Boone?" he asked.

"Of course," she said and he looked at her, it was obvious, he didn't believe her.

"You haven't talked to him at all."

"Nope," she admitted "And its best if I don't," she said as Jack came over.

"Natalie," Jack said.

"Hey Jack."

"So you ready to get to the caves?"

"Yeah sure Jack. I'll see you later Sawyer," she said and left.

"Natalie, I know your old enough to make your own decisions, but I'm going to offer my opinion on this. I think Sawyer is a bad choice, but I'll just hope you know what you're doing."

"Thanks Jack, and I was just talking to Sawyer that's it. A relationship is not what anyone on this island needs."

"I agree."

"Even though you like Kate," she said.

"We're not talking about me," Jack said.

"We could be."

"Not now," Jack said in a final way.

Once Jack and Natalie got their things moved Natalie told Jack she was going for a walk and she would be right back. He didn't argue, he knew how stubborn Natalie could be about some things. As Natalie was walking she heard someone call her name. She knew it was Boone. She turned around.

"Hello Boone," she said.

"Natalie I want you to just talk to me," he said. "I know I made a mistake, but that was over three years ago," he said.

"I know that, but Boone you called out another girls name when we were in bed together and not just any girl your step sister Shannon," she added. "You knew very well how I felt about her and the way she acted and the way she treated you."

"I know, I know you didn't like her and I really am sorry I said her name, I regret that I messed up what we had because what we had together was amazing, you do remember what we had don't you?"

"How could I not," she said quietly.

"I remember meeting you in that coffee shop. We went to the movies and had dinner and started to get to know each other." He said. "And I remember the first time we were together it was amazing, wonderful, even though we had just met."

"Yeah, you knew my name then," she added.

"You remember the night you danced for me, you know your little strip tease?" he asked his blue eyes shinning.

"I remember I was wondering what you were thinking the whole time," she said. "I was so nervous that you would laugh that you would think something awful about me, that you would tell me to stop and put my clothes back on." she said looking away. Boone tilted her face to look at him.

"I was thinking about how incredibly sexy you looked and how lucky I was to be with you."

"Boone, we can't be together again," she said.

"Can we at least be friends?"

"Boone I…"

"Think about it ok," Boone said and walked off leaving Natalie staring at him confused.

"Hey Shortcake," Sawyer said and she turned around.

"Hi," she said.

"You look confused," he said. "What's up?"

"Boone, he said he wants us to be friends," Natalie said.

"And what do you think?" Sawyer said.

"How can we be friends after everything that happened between us?"

"You know what Sweetheart I'm going to give you some advice," Sawyer said and she rolled her eyes.

"Can you not call me by my name, does it always have to be Princess or Shortcake or Sweetheart? My name is Natalie."

"I know your name babydoll."

"Can you not use it then?"

"Nope," he said smiling his trademark smile.

"Fine, Whatever," she said. "So what is this advice?"

"Think through your feelings carefully. Come to a decision but I don't think there is anything wrong with being friends."

"Really?" she asked and he nodded.

"Thanks Sawyer. You know for a guy that everyone hates, your not so bad," she told him. "If you weren't such an inconsiderate Jackass you could have friends."

"I don't need friends," he said and she smiled as Charlie came running by.

"Hey Natalie, you seen Kate?" he asked panicked.

"No she's off with Sayid trying to get a signal on the transceiver, what's wrong?"

"Its Um…"

"Is it Jack?" she asked and Charlie said nothing. "Charlie is something wrong with Jack?" she asked nervous.

"There was a cave-in, he's trapped."

"NO!" she said tears filling her eyes "He's still alive," she said. "He's not dead," she said and ran off.

"So which way is Kate?" Charlie asked.

"I'll find her," Sawyer said and took off.

Natalie ran all the way to the caves and when she got there no one was digging.

"Where's Jack?" Natalie asked.

"In there," Michael said.

"Why aren't you digging?" she asked running to the caves and bending down to dig. "We have to get him out," she added and no one said anything they helped her dig.

After a while some people had stopped digging. Michael and Boone were talking.

"She needs to rest, she's going to exhaust herself," Michael said.

"Yeah I agree, but she's stubborn, really stubborn Believe me I know. Once she has her mind on something it's hard to change it and what she wants is to save her brother and she won't give up until he's out."

"I understand that they have been separated for three years and its like some sort of miracle that they found each other again, but doing all this work isn't good for her, for any of us. We have to get him out soon though before he runs out of oxygen," Michael said and him and Boone looked over and she was still digging. "See if you can get her to take a break."

"I'm the last person that should try that," Boone said and Michael gave him a questioning look. "But I'll try," he said and walked over and knelt down beside her.

"Natalie," Boone whispered. "Maybe you should take a break," he said.

"I can't," she said trying to hold back tears.

"Natalie, you need to rest someone else can dig for a while alright."

"Boone I can't," she said and Boone reached out and touched her arm.

"Don't touch me!" she yelled.

"Natalie, please," Boone said "Just come over and rest a while, at least drink some water," he said "Please," he added and she nodded. He led her over away from the cave and gave her a bottle of water. She drank some of it.

"Sit down and rest," Boone said.

"Boone what if we can't get to Jack? What if he doesn't make it?" she said panicked. "What if, What if I loose him all over again. But this time is for good," she said as tears escaped her eyes and ran down her face.

"Natalie," he said and he pulled her into a hug. "I believe Jack will be fine, we'll get him out. I promise ok," he said and she looked up at him. "Jack will be fine," he assured her and wiped her tears away. It was about this time that Kate ran up.

"Where's Jack?" she asked and Michael pointed and she ran to the cave and started digging.

Michael stopped Kate after a few minutes.

"Look someone is going to have to go in and get him, it has to be someone small," Michael said and Boone was about to stand up when Charlie walked over.

"I'll do it," he said. He pointed out he didn't have anyone with him and there would be no one missing him if he left. So he went in after Jack.

"He's been in there a while," Natalie said. "What if something happened?" she asked.

"I'm sure they are ok," Michael said.

"Charlie will get him out," Boone said quietly.

Kate looked around behind her she heard a noise

"Jack," she said and Natalie looked to.

"JACK!" Natalie yelled and ran over. "Jack I thought you were gone for good this time."

"I'm fine Nattie," he said and she hugged him. "I couldn't take it if I lost you again."

'I'm not going anywhere Natalie," he said.

Later that night Charlie was sitting off by himself, he had a blanket wrapped around him. Natalie walked over and sat down beside him.

"Hey Charlie," she said and he looked over. "Look I just wanted to say thank you for going in the cave and helping get Jack out, I really appreciate it. I thought I'd never see him again but after three years I finally have him back and I don't think I could have taken it if I lost him again," she told him. "So thank you."

"Your welcome," he told her.

"Charlie are you alright? You don't look so good," Natalie said concerned.

"Oh I…" Charlie started but was interrupted by Jack.

"He has the flu Natalie," Jack said sitting down by Charlie.

"Oh really, After everything that's happened. Bad luck," she said. "Take care of yourself Charlie," she said and got up.

"I'll be right back Charlie," Jack told him and he followed Natalie.

"Natalie," Jack said. "Are you ok?"

"Look Jack now that I know you're ok. I'm fine."

"Were you really that worried?" Jack asked.

"Yeah I was. I was so afraid I'd loose you all over again," she said.

"Now that I've found you again, your never going to get rid of me," Jack said.

"Good," Natalie replied. "You should probably check on Charlie, I have something I need to do anyway,"

"Alright," Jack said and walked away and Natalie went in the opposite direction.


	4. Just Friends?

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted.

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

Natalie was walking, when she saw the person she was looking for.

"Boone," she called out and he turned around and smiled when he saw her approaching.

"Hey Natalie," he said and she realized he was with someone, a girl.

"Hi," she said. "I'm Shannon," she said.

"Yeah I know, Hi," Natalie said coolly.

"Can I talk to you alone?" she asked.

"Yeah ok," Boone said. "I'll be back later," Boone told Shannon and left with Natalie.

"So what is it?"

"Thank you," she said.

"For what?" Boone asked confused.

"For back at the cave, everything you said," she said quietly.

"Oh that, its nothing Natalie," he said. "You know I'd do just about anything for you."

"Boone," she said.

"Look I know you said there can be nothing between us but Natalie friends is all I'm asking."

"Friends, you think that's possible after everything that's happened," Natalie said.

"We could try," Boone said hopefully.

"I guess we could try that," Natalie said.

"Good then friends," Boone said as they stopped walking. He closed the distance between them and looked at her, in her eyes. "Is it ok for one friend to say to another friend that every time he sees her it takes his breath away and that he can't stop thinking about her and how stupid he was to mess things up with her."

"Boone don't do this, not now," she said taking a step back from him. "Friends Boone, that's it."

"Fine," he said and walked away. Natalie sighed and turned around, she saw Sawyer not far away.

"Sawyer," she said and she walked towards him.

"Something you need?" Sawyer asked and she sat down beside him.

"Sure have a seat," Sawyer said. Natalie looked at him.

"You don't think men and women can just be friends do you?" she asked.

"I don't think my opinion matters here," he said.

"Just answer the damn question," Natalie told him.

"No I don't," he said.

"Why not?" she asked.

"Why do you care, no one else on this island gives a damn about my opinion," Sawyer pointed out.

"Could you just answer, Why not?"

"Well look around this island and that should prove men and women can't be just friends. One of them will always have more than friendly feelings for the other."

"Really," she said raising her eyebrows.

"Well you and Boone, its so obvious Boone wants more than to be friends with you." Natalie looked at him as if to say not good enough, I knew that already "Ok not good enough," Sawyer said seeing her expression "Well what about Charlie and Claire?"

"She's pregnant Sawyer!" Natalie exclaimed.

"Yep but Charlie still has the hots for her," Sawyer said and Natalie shook her head and smiled "Well Jack and Kate, they may act like they are just friends but they both want each other."

"And you hate that don't you. That Kate would rather have Jack than you."

"We're not talking about me Sweetheart," he said.

"We could be."

"Well there's you and me."

"Are we friends Sawyer, I thought you didn't need friends, that is what you said," she said smiling.

"I don't need friends but if I did, I'd want one like you."

"So what is all this about you and me?"

"I know you find me attractive sweetheart," he said confidently and smiling.

"You sound so sure about that," Natalie said.

"Well."

"I don't find you attractive," she said which wasn't a total lie, she found him extremely sexy.

"Whatever you say Shortcake," Sawyer said. "Well what about you and Sayid?"

"No way Sayid does not find me attractive in anyway,"

"But you find him attractive," Sawyer stated.

"That's none of your business," she said.

"Maybe not, so you and Boone?"

"He's been so nice lately you know. We will try the friends thing and see."

"It'll never work."

"You don't think so?" she asked.

"Nope because you still have more than friendly feelings for him to," Sawyer stated.

"Good-bye Sawyer," she said and stood up and walked away.

Natalie walked back to the caves to sleep.

"There you are, I was wondering when you would get back here," he said. "Where have you been?"

"Around, talking to people."

"Please don't say one of those people was Sawyer."

"Ok I won't," she replied.

"Natalie I would prefer for you not to hang around Sawyer."

"I know Jack," she sighed.

"Look Nattie, I'm only saying this because I love you and I don't want to see you hurt. But Sawyer he's nothing but trouble," Jack said and Natalie looked away. "Natalie," Jack said. She looked up at him.

"Look Jack I love you to and I know your just looking out for me but I can take care of myself," she told him she said crossing her arms over her chest. "I've been doing that for a while now, I've had to do that for a while now," she pointed out.

"I know, I know you've had to look out for yourself." He said "Its amazing you survived three years," he said in disbelief.

"Why does everyone say that, like I don't have what it takes to survive?" she asked frustrated and stomped her foot.

"I never said that."

"You implied it," she shot back. "I've had to do things I didn't like, that I never would have done before to survive, you have no idea what its been like for me."

"I would if you'd talk to me about it."

"I don't want to talk about it," she said stubbornly. "I'm going to sleep," she added and left.

The next morning Natalie is at the caves where Jack is taking care of Sayid, who had a head wound where someone had hit him when all of a sudden Boone stumbles in and he is bloody, someone has beaten him.

"BOONE!" Natalie exclaimed jumping up. Jack turned around. "What happened?" she asked leading him to a place to sit down.

"Its Shannon, she has asthma and she is out of refills for her inhaler," he said as Jack brought over some bandages, Natalie started to clean him up. She pressed a cloth to his head.

"Ouch."

"Sorry," Natalie said and she continued to clean him up more gently. "Anyway I went to see Sawyer because he was reading Watership Down, I had that book in my bag, the bag that had Shannon's inhaler refills in it."

"Did you ask Sawyer for the refills?" Natalie asked.

"Yes and he refused to give them to me and then he did this to me." Boone said and Jack looked over at Natalie as if to say see what Sawyer is capable of.

"I'm going to talk to him," Jack said angrily.

"I don't think that's a good idea," Natalie said.

"Well I am anyway, you stay here and finish taking care of Boone," Jack said and left.

Natalie finished cleaning Boone up and then went to find Jack and Sawyer. She found Jack walking back and looking upset.

"Jack," Natalie said. "You didn't fight with Sawyer."

"No, but he refused to give me the inhalers," Jack said.

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe he doesn't have them?"

"Oh he has them," Jack said.

"Let me talk to him," Natalie said.

"Kate already tried."

"Well now I can try," she said and walked away.

She saw Sawyer sitting im his makeshift tent. She walked over to him.

"Sawyer," Natalie said and he looked over.

"Hello there Shortcake," he said.

"Do you have them?" she asked.

"Have what?"

"Shannon's inhaler refills, do you have them?" she asked. "Sawyer I'd like to think that if you have them you would give them to me." she said kneeling down in front of him.

"Why would I?"

"Because I'm not Jack, I'm not Kate, I'm not Sayid. I always gave you the benefit of the doubt on everything, even when I shouldn't have. I've never just assumed that if something was wrong it was your fault. So just tell me the truth DO you have Shannon's inhalers?"

"No I don't. The book washed up on shore, there wasn't any inhalers anywhere," Sawyer said.

"Ok I believe you," she told him.

"But they won't," he said and she was quiet. "So tell me whose name did Boone call out when you were in bed together?" Natalie sighed and looked away, then looked back at Sawyer.

"Why did you beat him up Sawyer?" she asked touching his arm.

"He was going through my stuff, I had to teach him a lesson about respecting other people's property."

"No you didn't. He was trying to help Shannon."

"Well you changed the subject, you didn't answer my question. Whose name did Boone call out when you were in bed together?"

"That's none of your business."

"Yeah but you could tell me anyway."

"Shannon," she said running her fingers through her hair.

"His sister?" Sawyer asked.

"His step sister," she told him and stood uo and walked away.

"So?" Jack asked he was waiting for not far from the beach.

"He doesn't have them. He says the book washed up on shore and you know what I believe him."

"Well you shouldn't," Jack said and he walked away. Natalie sighed and followed him.

"Jack," she called out. "Jack wait," she called running to catch up with him. "Jack do you really believe Sawyer would keep those inhalers if he had them?" she asked.

"Yes I do," he answered.

"Jack I don't know…"

"Natalie he's already shown he's capable of murder," Jack said angrily. "Yet you foolishly trust him," he added more softly.

"I never said I trusted him Jack," Natalie told him. "And if your talking about the Marshall from what I understand he was going to die anyway and Sawyer did what had to be done, what no one else could or would do. He failed miserably yes," she said. "But Jack you need to learn when to let go, you can't save everyone," she said finally as they reached the caves.

"Well lets go in and tell Boone we still don't have the inhalers for Shannon," Jack said and they walked in. Boone looked to Jack, Shannon was in the midst of an asthma attack and he was trying to calm her. Jack went over and Boone moved out of the way, he went to stand by Natalie.

"So did Jack get the inhalers?" Boone asked.

"No, Sawyer doesn't have them."

"How do you know?"

"Well I asked him and he told me he didn't," Natalie said.

"And you actually believe him!" Boone exclaimed.

"Yes I do and don't yell at me," she told him.

"I didn't mean to yell at you but this is my sister."

"I know, I know," she said and turned to leave.

"Where are you going?" he asked angrily. "I'm not done talking to you."

"None of your damn business," she said fiercely and Boone followed her.

"Natalie," he said.

"I'm going to talk to Sawyer again," she said and started to walk away.

"Don't go," he said and gently grabbed her arm, she turned around and looked at him.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because I need you here," he said softly and her green eyes met his blue eyes and she sighed softly.

"Ok fine," she said and she followed him back into the caves.

"Jack," Natalie said. "Do you need me to do anything at all?" she asked.

"Not at the moment, just keep Boone out of the way for now," he said and turned back.

"So," Boone said.

"So," Natalie repeated sitting down, Boone sat beside her.

"Talk to me or something," he said.

"Well why don't you tell me what you've been up to the past three years, you know since I last saw you," she said.

"Well before the crash I was still helping my mom with her little wedding empire," Boone said. "I had a few girlfriends, none of which compare to the one I let get away," he added.

"Boone, don't do this now," she pleaded. "So what brought you to Australia? I mean that was where the plane left from right?"

"Yeah it was and Shannon called. Gave me the impression her boyfriend was abusing her."

"He wasn't either was he," Natalie stated.

"No he wasn't, She was just trying to get money out of me," he told her.

"And this is the girl you love, great choice," she said.

"Do we always have to dwell on this?" Boone asked.

"No, in fact I think its time we dealt with it and moved on. I mean you have no idea how it feels though but just think. So you called out another woman's name when we were in bed together. Answer this how would you feel if I called out another guys name when we were in bed together?"

"I guess I would feel shocked, betrayed, like a fool to believe you actually cared about me," he said finally understanding. "And broken-hearted."

"Exactly," she said and said nothing else.

"So that's how you felt, how I made you feel," Boone said.

"Yeah it is," she admitted. "I need to stretch my legs and get away from here a while," she said and stood up. Boone stood up as well. "No you stay, I know you need to."

"Your not going far are you?"

"No."

"Well I can come, she's calmed down a lot now and she's resting," Boone said.

"If that's what you want," she said and he nodded and they left together after telling Jack they would be right back.

"Natalie I never meant to make you feel the way I did, I never meant to hurt you, to break your heart,"

"Yeah, but you did," she said. "I've been here alone for three years, I've had nothing to do but think about all the people I would never see again. Jack and you. I'll never see my mom, most likely and my dad he's dead now."

"But what you do have is me and Jack and neither one of us is going anywhere," Boone told her. "I did think about you a lot the past three years as well," Boone said.

"What how glad you were I was gone?" she said.

"No, what I should have done to make you stay, so you wouldn't have got on that plane," he said "Don't you remember you weren't going to go, you were going to stay with me and we were finally going to tell our families we were seeing each other, so they could finally meet?"

"Yeah we were, Jack knew I was seeing someone but I never told him who and now I wonder how would he react if he knew it was you?"

"I don't know," Boone said.

"You should probably go check on Shannon, I'll see you later," Natalie said and walked away. Boone watched her go and then he turned and walked back to the caves where Shannon was.


	5. A Kiss

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted.

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

When Boone walked into the caves he went to sit by Shannon.

"Hey" she said quietly "Where did you go?"

"I just went for a walk to stretch my legs, think for a while," he answered.

"Alone?" she asked

"With Natalie," Boone told her.

"Oh," Shannon said

Natalie was walking on the beach she was going to talk to Sawyer again, but Kate stopped her.

"Natalie," she called out and Natalie stopped.

"Kate" she said "What is it?"

"Where are you going?" She asked

"No where really, there isn't many places to go on this Island," Natalie pointed out

"True," Kate said and they started walking again.

"So Jack still looking after Shannon?" Kate asked

"Yep," she said nodding.

"Boone with Shannon?"

"Yes," Natalie answered.

"What is going on with you and Boone anyway?" Kate asked "I know its really none of my business"

"It's a long complicated story," Natalie said "That starts even before I got stranded here."

"I have all day, its not like I have anywhere I have to be," Kate told her and she stopped.

"And you want tell Jack anything I tell you?" She asked.

"Not if you don't want me to," Kate told her.

"You promise," Natalie said.

"Yeah I promise," Kate told her and they shook hands as if sealing the agreement.

"Ok lets sit, it might be good to have a female opinion on this," Natalie said and they sat down.

"Ok a little over three years ago I had a boyfriend that I cared about deeply. I was in love with him and I thought that he did love me to," she said.

"Did he have a name?" Kate asked.

"Boone," Natalie answered.

"Boone. You and Boone dated before you crashed here?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah we did. Jack never knew who I was dating at the time. The day I crashed here Boone and I were supposed to go meet each others families. See how well we fit in each others world because when its just us its fine but its totally different when it comes to our families. I was supposed to go to Australia that day, I even had my ticket but Boone convinced me to stay. I wanted my family to meet Boone. I wanted Jack to meet Boone more than anyone else. I wanted to know what Jack thought of him more than anyone else, his opinion was always the most important to me" Natalie said. She ran her fingers through her hair. "Anyway the night before we were going to go Boone and I were in bed together and he said someone else's name. I didn't know what to do or think. I was hurt, I was angry, I never gave him a chance to explain or anything I packed up and left. Hopped on the plane to Australia, far away from here and that's what brought me here"

"So have you and Boone talked about anything?" Kate asked.

"Some, He says that he wants to be friends but he also wants more than that."

"What do you want?" Kate asked.

"To not get my heart broken by Boone again," Natalie said.

"Well do you really want to be just friends with Boone or do you want more, try and rekindle what you once had."

"Well I would be lying if I said I didn't still have feelings for Boone, more than friendly feelings."

"Well just because we're stuck on this island doesn't mean you can't find love," Kate told her.

Natalie was standing looking out at the water thinking about the last words Kate spoke to her "_Just because we're stuck on this island doesn't mean you can't find love"_, Was Kate right, she doubted it, a relationship isn't what anyone needs right now. She was still thinking when Sawyer walked up and stood next to her.

"Hey," he said

"Hi," she replied

"You do believe me don't you?' he asked

"Believe you?" she asked confused.

"Believe that I don't have those inhalers," he told her. "That when I said I didn't have them you believed me didn't you?" he asked hopefully.

"Yes Sawyer I believe you but no one else does and my opinion isn't counting for much."

"But you believe me?" He asked again.

"I believe you would have given them to me when I asked for them. I believe you wouldn't watch a girl suffer who has done nothing to you."

"At least you believe me," he sighed.

"I do but my opinion isn't counting for much with anyone, not with Boone, not with Sayid, not even with Jack" She explained. "I saw what you did to Boone, he was trying to help his sister."

"He was going through my stuff," Sawyer told her.

"Its not really yours, you found it and Boone was just trying to help his sister," she said.

"Its not like anyone on this island even likes me or would care if anything happened to me," Sawyer pointed out.

"Well Sawyer it's your own fault. You haven't acted in a way that would make anyone like you. You're self-absorbed, selfish, mean and arrogant. I believe you are a better person than the one you pretend to be," she told him. "But the only thing you care about is that damn letter you keep reading over and over. I see how careful you are with it as if it's the most precious thing in your life," she added and Sawyer touched his back packet.

"You want to know what kind of person I am," he told her and pulled the letter out of his pocket "Read this," he said putting it in her hand she just looked up at him. "Read it!" he told her and she opened the letter and read it. The letter seemed to be from a kid, a young boy and it implicated Sawyer in a scam against his parents, it said that Sawyer had an affair with his mother and it drove his father to kill his mother and then himself.

"So some kid wrote this, to you?" she asked folding the letter and carefully putting it back in the envelope.

"Yes this is the kind of man I am sweetheart, you still believe I am a better person than I pretend to be?" he asked and Natalie turned the letter over and looked at a date on it and something seemed off about it.

"Yes," she said and handed him the letter back and walked off.

Natalie made her way back to the caves and she came upon Jack and Sayid talking. She overheard Sayid tell Jack that he was in the Iraqi Republican Guard and he knows a way to get what they want from Sawyer, torture him.

"Your not actually going to agree with him are you Jack?"

"Natalie we've tried everything, I've talked to him, Kate's talked to him and you have as well," Jack explained "You saw what he did to Boone. There's no other way. You've seen what kind of person he is."

"Ok but what if Sawyer is telling the truth and he doesn't have the inhalers, what kind of person does that make you." she said and went inside the caves and saw Boone and Shannon.

"Natalie," Boone said and walked over to her.

"So how is she?" Natalie asked.

"She's ok for now, but she could have another attack any minute."

"She's just panicked, she realizes she's out of inhaler refills and you just need to keep her calm until we figure out what to do," she said. "But I'm sure Jack told you this already."

"Yes he did, but how do you know what to do?" Boone asked.

"My dad was a doctor, my brother is a doctor. I picked up on stuff and listened when they said stuff. I'm not some ditzy blonde, I'm more than my hair color Boone," she told him.

"I know that," he said and he took a step closer and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "I was wondering," he said quietly twirling her hair around his finger. "If we could talk about some things, you know between us?"

"Not now Boone, now really isn't the time," she said and grabbed his hand that was twirling her hair. "You need to be here with Shannon now, but we'll talk soon."

"You promise," he said.

"Yeah I promise," she assured him. "Now go take care of your sister," she told him and he walked to Shannon and Natalie left the caves.

Natalie went to the beach and sat down and thought about Boone. She really did want another chance with him but fear of getting her heart broken kept her from giving in.

"Penny for your thoughts," someone said sitting next to her. She looked over.

"Charlie," she said smiling. "I don't think they are worth that much."

"What are you thinking about?" he asked, "Maybe I can help."

"It's ok Charlie I'll figure everything out eventually," She told him. "Can I ask you a question?"

"Yeah, go ahead."

"Do you think a second chance at first love is worth it?" she asked quietly.

"It depends on the circumstances. I think it would be for me," he told her "I guess it all depends on what ended your relationship and if its something you can get passed."

Natalie went to bed thinking about what Charlie had said about having a second chance with your first love would be worth it for him and she was beginning to think it would be worth it to her as well. The last thoughts in her head before she drifted off to sleep were that when she talked to Boone they would talk about things between them, really talk about them not dance around them and they would talk about whether or not they could be together again because she was beginning to think they could make it work.

The next day when Natalie got up she had decided she would go to the beach to talk to Sawyer again, just as a precaution to make sure he didn't have the inhalers. But when she got there she saw Jack and Sayid dragging him off and Kate was watching it.

"They're not actually going through with it or they?" Natalie asked.

"They are," Kate replied.

"It's not right," Natalie said.

"I agree but its also not right to keep someone's medicine," Kate pointed out.

"But what if he's telling the truth this time and he doesn't really have it?"  
"Then they are making a mistake."

"You know this isn't just about the inhalers this is personal for Sayid and Jack. Sayid believes Sawyer was the one who attacked him and Jack dislikes Sawyer so much that he's going along with it," Natalie said. "I don't believe this," She added.

It was a while later when Jack came back, Natalie was sitting with Kate. He stood in front of them.

"He wants to talk to you," Jack said to Kate.

"What could he possibly want from her?" Natalie asked.

"He said he'd tell Kate where the inhalers are," Jack said. "Come on," he added and Kate stood up, Natalie stood up as well.

"He doesn't have them, how can he tell her where they are?" Natalie said.

"Have you ever thought that maybe he lied to you," Jack said.

"He didn't lie to me," she said.

"Lets go," Jack said to Kate and Natalie went to follow.

"You're not coming," Jack told her.

"I am and you can't make me stay."

"It would be better if you stayed here," Jack told her.

"Why Jack, don't want me to see what you've done," she said.

"Natalie just stay here." he ordered and left with Kate. Natalie waited a few minutes and then followed them. She saw where they stopped and she went around and she saw Sawyer tied to a tree. Kate walked up.

"Alright Sawyer where are the inhalers?" She heard Kate say.

"Ok but how about that kiss first."

"A girl is having trouble breathing, and you want a kiss," Kate said. "Are you serious?"

"Sweetheart, I am tied to a tree in the jungle of mystery I've just been tortured by a damn spinal surgeon and a bon a fide Iraqi I ain't never been more serious," Sawyer said.

Natalie saw Kate lean down and kiss him. They both looked like they were enjoying it and Natalie wondered why she was so upset by this and why she was on the verge of tears.

"Ok Sawyer where are the inhaler's?" Kate asked when they broke apart.

"I don't have them."

"But you have the book that was in his bag," Kate said.

"It washed up on shore, I really don't have the inhaler's," Sawyer said and Natalie watched as Kate slapped Sawyer across the face and walk away.

Natalie was just about to walk over to Sawyer when she saw Sayid come running towards him. He was still tied to that tree.

"This can't be good," Natalie said to herself. She watched as Sawyer got the ropes off his hands and get up. Sayid and Sawyer fought and when it was over Sayid had stabbed Sawyer's arm hitting an artery. Jack was trying to hold him down to stop the bleeding in his arm.

"He needs to be kept still so I can stop the bleeding," Jack said as Kate tried to hold him down. Natalie ran over, Kate looked up.

"Get down here and help me keep him still," Kate said and Natalie knelt down next to Kate to try and help.

"Sawyer you have to try and keep still, stop fighting Jack, he's trying to help," Natalie said.

"Why don't you just let me die," Sawyer angrily. "I know you want to."

"Can you two try and keep him still!" Jack yelled.

"Just so you know if the situations were reversed I'd watch you die," Sawyer said to Jack and Natalie let go of his arm.

"What the hell is wrong with you Sawyer?" Natalie asked angry. "He's trying to help you stop being such a damn Jackass," she said and he passed out.

Natalie was looking at the tent where Sawyer was. Kate had volunteered to watch him until he woke up. Natalie finally saw Kate leave and she walked over.

"Well look who has joined the world of the living again," Natalie said crossing her arms over her chest, she was clearly upset.

"I was wondering where you were Shortcake," he said a slight smile on his face upon seeing her.

"You could have died yesterday, in fact you almost did and I wouldn't have blamed Jack if he let you die but he didn't because that's the kind of guy Jack is he'll try to help anyone even if he dislikes him and even if they don't deserve it." Natalie said angrily walking toward him and stopping right in front of him.

"So would you have let me die?" Sawyer asked sitting up.

"Yes I'm not as good a person as Jack," she said bluntly looking him straight in the eyes. Sawyer stood up and walked over to her.

"I don't believe that, I don't think you could watch anyone die if you could save them," he said smiling that arrogant, cocky, trademark smile of his. Natalie closed her eyes and took a deep breath so she wouldn't knock that arrogant smile off of his face. She opened her eyes and looked at him.

"I've been thinking trying to put things together," Natalie began. "That letter you let me read, I looked at the envelope, I noticed the postmark and it makes sense now, you wrote it."

"Maybe," Sawyer said.

"I know you wrote it, it's the only way that postmark makes sense," she said and Sawyer let out a heavy sigh.

"I was eight when I wrote that. My mother had an affair with another man, my dad found out. My dad thought I was at my Grandmother's that night. He comes home furious, he's yelling and my mom hides me under my bed and I heard him yell at her and then a gunshot went off. Then he came in my room and sat on my bed, I was under my bed and he killed himself right in front of me," he said softly. Natalie wiped a tear that escaped from her eye. "Well I got into trouble when I was nineteen owed a lot of money to really scary men, so I took the name of the man I was hunting, I became a confidence man,"

"Sawyer," Natalie whispered

"Don't," he said. "Don't feel sorry for me," he told her.

"I don't, but you were just a kid when you lost your parents Sawyer, its not your job to hunt down the guy who caused this for all you know he's already dead," Natalie said.

"But he's not, and now I'll never find him and I'll never settle things."

"What were you going to do?" Natalie asked knowing the answer as soon as she asked.

"Kill him," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer are you really a murderer?"

"I already am," he said.

"Sawyer."

"Shouldn't you be with your boyfriend?" he asked and Natalie realized she wasn't going to get anything else out of him now.

"Bye Sawyer," she said and walked away.

It was a few days later when Natalie was going to the caves that she finally ran into Boone.

"Hey Natalie wait!" he called out and she stopped.

"Hey Boone," she said smiling. "How's Shannon?"

"Back to her usual self unfortunately," he told her.

"She can't be that bad if your in love with her."

"Look I'm not here to talk to you about Shannon, I want to talk about us, I was wondering if we could have that talk now."

"Yeah we can." she said. "And I know exactly where we can go and not be interrupted," she added and grabbed his hand and led him off into the jungle.

"I've never seen this before," Boone said.

"Of course not its well hidden, come on in," she said and led him inside.

"Welcome to my home."

"Your home."

"Well this was home for the past few years, I did the best with what I had," she said and he looked around and saw two blankets and stuff she had made from leaves and twigs.

"Nice," he said.

"Thanks," she said. "Well lets talk," Natalie said.


	6. Boone and Natalie

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted.

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

"Where should we start?" Boone asked.

"I don't know Boone, I mean maybe we should deal with the reason I left," she suggested as she nervously tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I guess that's a good place, we have to deal with it sometime," he sighed as he rubbed his hand over his eye.

"Boone I just want to know why you said her name?" she asked crossing her arms over her chest.

"I don't know," Boone admitted. "Her name just came out, I don't really know why."

"You know why, even if you won't admit. You've always wanted her."

"That's not true!" Boone exclaimed.

"We're you thinking of Shannon every time we were together?" she asked.

"No," he answered quickly. "You want to know the truth?" he asked.

"Yeah I do," she told him.

"The truth is I thought we would only have that one night together but I knew the next morning that one night would never be enough. I had to see you again and I was afraid you wouldn't agree but I was glad you did. So we went out again and again and we got to know each other better. Until finally we developed what we had together and I thought what we had together was amazing and wonderful."

"It was Boone, until you messed up," she said sitting down on a suitcase she had salvaged from her plane crash.

"I know I messed up!" he yelled and ran his fingers through his hair. "I regret it everyday, I regret that I let you get away. I wished I had followed you to the airport and tried to stop you from getting on that plane." He admitted. "But I didn't, I was to scared you wouldn't talk to me or that you would leave anyway, I was to afraid you'd reject me."

"Really?" she asked in disbelief

"Yes really, I wanted to stop you from leaving, I wish I had stopped you."

"What would you have done?" she asked curiously.

"Well I would have bought you flowers. Roses, Red because I love you and White because they are your favorite."

"I can't believe you remember my favorite flower after all this time," she said shocked and he walked over and stood right in front of her. "Most guys never remember that."

"Well I do." He said and she looked up at him. "Then I would have found you and given you the roses and I would have said," He began as he knelt down in front of her. " I would have said I'm sorry, please don't leave. I love you and I know you love me to and I really want this to work. I know I made a mistake but I'm not perfect, I make mistakes and if you give me another chance I'll probably make a million more mistakes but love doesn't have to be perfect that's what makes it so amazing and special and fun," Boone said. "I would have told you give me your heart again and I promise to take better care of it, I can't promise to never break your heart again because I very well could but I would never hurt you intentionally. What I can promise is to take better care of your heart and love you everyday even when we have an argument and go to bed angry promising to work things out the next morning because we can work through anything as long as we're together," he finished.

"You would have said all that?" she asked.

"Something like that, Why?" he said "Would you have agreed to stay with me?" he asked.

"Yes," she whispered and turned away from those gorgeous blue eyes.

"Natalie," Boone whispered and he touched her cheek and she looked at him. "I still love you and I think we owe it to ourselves to see what there is between us," he said.

"Me to," Natalie whispered, her heart was beating so hard in her chest she was sure Boone could hear it. A smile spread across Boone's face and he leaned in and touched his lips to hers, Natalie pulled away and looked at him as she brought her hand to her lips.

"Boone I…" she started.

"Its ok," he said as he moved her hand away from her lips, He then ran his thumb across her lips "It's a kiss that's all a kiss," he told her.

"Well then kiss me again," she whispered and he pressed his lips to hers and this time Natalie didn't pull away she let him kiss her. Her arms slid around his neck as his hands rested on her waist and he pulled her off the suitcase into his lap, she pulled away briefly but Boone's lips found her neck and worked their way up to that spot behind her ear that he knew drove her crazy. When his lips touched it he heard her gasp and then he ran his tongue over it and he heard her let out a moan. He brought his lips back to hers as he gently lowered her to the ground, Natalie looked up at him and he brought his lips back to her neck, Natalie closed her eyes and got lost in how wonderful it felt to be kissed again. Boone's hands pulled her shirt up and when Boone's lips touched her bare stomach she let out a moan. Boone kissed up her body and between her breasts, he then reached behind her and undid her bra and pulled her shirt off. He looked down at her and smiled before kissing her again. It was then that they heard a noise in the jungle

Boone pulled away.

"You hear that?"

"Yeah I did," she said and then they heard it again.

"Maybe we should go," Natalie said and Boone nodded and handed her, her shirt. Natalie tried to fasten her bra but couldn't get it done.

"Boone would you fasten this," she asked.

"Yeah sure," he said and he fastened it and Natalie put her shirt on. "Ok lets go," Boone said and they quietly left and managed to get back to the beach with no problems.

"I need to go talk to Jack, I want him to know this time," Natalie said.

"If that's what you want," Boone said.

"It is," Natalie replied.

"Alright, maybe I'll tell Shannon."

"Maybe," Natalie said.

"I'm going to tell Shannon about us," Boone said as they reached the beach.

"Good, I'm going to find Jack," Natalie said.

"Alright," she said and Boone placed a kiss on her lips and then they went their separate ways.

Natalie found Jack at the caves

"Jack," Natalie said.

"Hey where have you been?" he asked "No one's seen you," he stated.

"Oh is there a reason you were looking for me?" she asked.

"No, can't I just want to check on my little sister and make sure she's ok?" he asked.

"Yeah you can," she said.

"Ok so where were you?" he asked.

"I was with Boone" she told him

"Oh Boone," he said relieved.

"I need to tell you something," she said.

"Alright go ahead," Jack said.

"Well I knew Boone before we met on this island."

"You did, how?" Jack asked.

"Well we were dating," she said nervously.

"Dating," Jack said in shock. "He's the guy that you had been dating the one we never met."

"Yeah he was," she admitted. "But we broke up, we had a misunderstanding."

"Ok," Jack said confused. "But why are you telling me this now?"

"Because Boone and I have decided to give us another shot, to see if we still have something between us, because I believe we do."

"You do?"

"Yeah he says he still loves me and I love him to Jack, I never stopped because we broke up, had an argument."

"Natalie, are you sure about this?"

"Yes Jack I am, I just wanted you to know because I value your opinion and you're the only person I wanted to know the first time, Mom and Dad they never like anyone I dated no matter who he was."

"True."

"But you were always reasonable and you were always right if you said the guy wasn't right for me." she said.

"I think Boone's a nice guy, as long as he treats you good, I have no problem with it and you know that."

"I know Jack, I just wanted to tell you first," she said. "I'll see you later," she said.

"Alright," Jack said and Natalie hugged him.

"Love you," Jack said.

"Love you all the way around the world and back again," Natalie said referring to what she used to say when she was a kid, Jack smiled "See you later Jack." she said and walked away.

Natalie was walking through the jungle making her way back to the beach when someone stepped in front of her.

"Hey babydoll."

"Hi, Steve," Natalie said uncertain.

"Scott," he corrected.

"Scott, you want something?"

"Just you," he said smiling.

"Sorry, but I'm taken."

"Not Sawyer," he said.

"No Boone."

"The pretty boy?" Scott asked shocked.

"Yeah," she answered. "I'm going back to the beach."

"We could be so much better together," Scott said.

"Sorry but no," Natalie said and walked away. Scott grabbed her arm tight and squeezed it.

"Ouch," she said.

"Don't just walk away from me," he said pulling her to him.

"Let me go," she demanded.

"How about a little kiss first," he said smiling.

"No let me go," she said as there was a rustling in the bushes. They both turned to look and Scott dropped her arm.

"I'll see you later," he said and ran off. Natalie rubbed her arm and made her way back to the beach.

Boone had finally found Shannon.

"Hey there you are, where have you been?" he asked.

"Here," Shannon said. "You're the one who has been gone."

"I know, and I want to talk to you about that," he said.

"Ok what is it."

"Well you know Natalie right?"

"Jack's sister," Shannon stated.

"Yeah," Boone said. "Anyway I knew Natalie before we crashed here, we dated before her plane crashed here, I mean it was the argument we had that caused her to leave."

"Oh, so why are you telling me this?" she asked.

"Because I was with Natalie today and we've decided to see what we have between us, we've decided to get together again."

"Really," Shannon said in disbelief. "Why would you do that? I mean you still love me, I'm probably the reason you broke up."

"Don't Shannon, you're the one who said we shouldn't let anyone know, we're better off forgetting about each other, so that's what I am doing," he said.

"You'll never forget about me," she said and she laid her hand on his face, Boone grabbed it and moved it off.

"I love Natalie and Natalie loves me, get over yourself," Boone said and walked away.

When Natalie found Boone he was sitting on the sand looking at the ocean. She sat beside him.

"Hey," she said.

"So how did it go with Jack?" he asked

"Good" Natalie said. "Shannon?"

"She's self-centered and it doesn't matter what she thinks anyway."

"What did she say that has you so upset?" Natalie asked.

"That I was still in love with her and that I would never forget about her," Boone said.

"Oh," Natalie said softly.

"It's not true," Boone told her.

"Is it true?" Natalie asked.

"Of course not," Boone said.

"Are you still in love with her and might I add that's its gross that you are in love with her in the first place."

"I can forget about Shannon, I want you, I do love you," he said. "I told Shannon that."

"You told Shannon you love me?" she asked.

"Yes and I told her that you love me as well, that is true isn't it?" he asked unsure.

"Of course it is, I do love you Boone."

"Alright, well I should go, I'll see you later," Boone said.

"Definitely," Natalie said smiling and Boone leaned over and kissed her.

"Bye," Boone said and he got up and walked away.

"So is there something going on you want to tell me about Shortcake?" she heard someone say and knew it was Sawyer, who else called her Shortcake. She stood up.

"No not really," she said smiling and turned to walk away, knowing Sawyer couldn't stand not knowing and would follow her.

"Wait," Sawyer said walking after her. She stopped and turned around to look at him. "Really, what's going on with you and the pretty boy?"

"His name is Boone and it's none of your business," she told him.

"Maybe but I'd still like to know, what is going on?" he asked. "You know you want to tell me." He was right she did want to tell him, to see how he would react.

"You remember how you told me to think through my feelings and all that stuff?"

"I said that," he asked.

"Yeah you did," she said. "Well anyway I did that and all my thinking led me back to Boone and my feelings for him and we've decided to give it another shot, see what there is between us."

"Well."

"You don't have to say anything Sawyer," she said. "How's that arm?"

"Sore," he admitted. "But it's fine."

"Bandages will need to get changed tomorrow," Natalie said looking at his arm.

"Really," he said.

"Yeah, it needs to be kept clean so it doesn't get infected," She told him.

"So you still love him huh?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah I do," she told him. "I'm going to go now, I'll see you later," she said and walked away.

The next morning when Natalie went to the beach she saw Jack trying to change Sawyer's bandages, Sawyer wasn't making it easy. Jack ripped Sawyer's bandage off his arm.

"Don't take my skin off," she heard Sawyer growl.

"These have to be changed," Jack stated pointing at the bandages.

"Yeah your sister already explained that."

"Stay away from my sister!" Jack demanded.

"Sure Doc, but have you ever thought that maybe its her that won't stay away from me," Sawyer stated.

"She's with Boone now," Jack pointed out. "Stay away from her," he demanded as he started to put a bandage on Sawyers arm.

"OW!" Sawyer yelled. "Trying to finish me off."

"You know no one on this island can stand to be around you, I'm doing you a favor."

"Well I know two people that can," he said and he smiled at Jack.

"Change your own damn bandages," Jack yelled and stormed off.

"Do you always have to pick a fight with him, he's just trying to help," Natalie said.

"Oh morning Shortcake" Sawyer said ignoring her question and she watched him try to bandage his own arm. Natalie sighed.

"You're making a mess of that," she said walking over. "Here let me do it," she said taking the bandages from him, she knelt beside him and put medicine on his arm and then stuck a bandage on it.

"Sawyer you might want to be a little bit nicer to everyone, I mean who knows how long we'll be here. I've been here three years and it gets lonely when you're all alone," she said and picked up a bandage.

"Really is that why you're with the pretty boy?"

"Boone," she told him. "And no I care about Boone, I love Boone," she added as she began to wrap his arm. "I remember this one night we had before the island, it was amazing. What Boone and I had was different than what I had with any other guy. I met him in a coffee shop of all places and we slept together the night we met. No one was more shocked than me when he wanted to see me again,"

"Probably wanted to get you in bed again," Sawyer said.

"No, we didn't sleep together that second night because I thought that's what he wanted as well," she said as she finished wrapping his arm. "But we saw each other more and more times and before I knew it we had been together a year and we hadn't met each other's families yet and we were getting ready to do that until, well you know what happened," she said and he nodded.

"But why hadn't you met each other's families yet if you had been together a year?" he asked. "You strike me as the kind of girl who would want your family to meet the guy you love."

"I knew my parents would never like him, they never like anyone. Jack was different though, the few boys he didn't like there was always a reason and he was right about them. But I knew he would like Boone."

"So you think Jack's right about me?" Sawyer asked.

"He could be wrong, I can only hope he's wrong," she said "Well I'm done here, I should get going," she added and he looked at his arm.

"You did a good job, that didn't hurt at all," he said. "Maybe you should change all my bandages, you are a lot better to look at than Jack anyway," he added smiling.

"Well thanks."

"How come your not a doctor?"

"Because that's not who I am, I made my own choice and being a doctor wasn't one of them."

"What did you do?" he asked. "Before all this."

"That's a story for another time," she told him and he looked at her and saw a bruise on her arm.

"What's that on your arm?" he asked.

"Nothing," she said quickly.

"If its nothing, why are you covering it up?" he asked

"Sawyer," she said as he touched her arm.

"How did you get that bruise?"

"Clumsy me you know, tripped over a rock and fell down."

"You're not clumsy," Sawyer told her. "Far from it." He added and took her arm in his hand and looked at it.

"The bruises look like fingers," he said. "Someone grabbed you. Who did this."

"Sawyer drop it, don't worry about it, its over."

"He didn't."

"Boone, no he would never,' she told him.

"Then who?"

"I have to go," she said standing up. "See you later Sawyer," she added and walked away.

Natalie was standing gazing out at the water, when she felt someone's arms slide around her waist.

"No matter how much you stare at it the view isn't going to change," Boone said and Natalie leaned against him.

"I know, I know," she said.

"So what were you doing with Sawyer?"

"I was just bandaging his arm Boone," she told him.

"Jack couldn't do it?" Boone asked.

"Well apparently Sawyer, he made Jack mad because Jack stormed off without bandaging his arm."

"So what, you figured you'd just go over there and fix his arm up," Boone said a hint of anger in his voice.

Yeah I did is there something wrong with that?" she asked.

"Yeah there is, Sawyer isn't the type of guy you should be hanging around."

"Really," she said turning to face him. "So you're the only guy I should be hanging around or something?"

"I didn't say that," Boone said. "Don't be so defensive."

"I'm not being defensive, I'm making a point."

"Which is?" Boone asked.

"That you're not the only guy I'm going to be around. You're the only guy I'm in love with."

"Ok I get that really I do but does one of those guys your going to be around have to be Sawyer?"

"Well no, it just seems like he's always there, he's part of the reason we're together again."

"Explain that," Boone said in disbelief.

"Well Sawyer was the one who said I should think through my feelings for you, which I did, and then decide what I wanted, which was you of course and all that led me to decide that I did want to be with you again."

"Well I owe our relationship to Sawyer," he said disgusted.

"No you don't, I always knew that I love you I just needed to not be afraid of it and go with it."

"Well I am glad you decided to do that," he said resting his hands on her waist.

"Yeah me to," she agreed wrapping her arms around his neck and kissing him.

Natalie finally made her way back to the caves and saw Jack was there alone.

"So Jack what exactly did Sawyer say to make you so upset you stormed off without bandaging his arm?" Natalie asked.

"Well I explained to him the bandages had to be changed and he told me you explained that to him already."

"Well I did," she said.

"I told him to stay away from you."

"What did he say?"

"That maybe it was you that wouldn't stay away from him," Jack said. "Then I told him no one on this island can stand to be around him and he said he knew two people who could, implying you and Kate and that's when I told him to change his own bandages," Jack said sitting down. Natalie walked over and sat down beside him.

"Don't let Sawyer get to you Jack, he just does all this because he knows it makes you upset. Don't let him do that to you," Natalie told him.

"Well it would be easier if you stayed away from him," Jack said looking at her.

"Maybe," she said smiling at him.

"So how's Boone?" Jack asked.

"He's good, I just saw him before I came here."

"And you and Boone?"

"We're fine Jack, don't worry about me so much."

"Well I do."

"Just because you're my big brother doesn't mean you have to take care of me or anything. I am capable of looking after myself you know."

"I know you are," Jack said and they were quiet.

"Well I'm going to go, I'll see you later Jack."

"Yeah see you later," Jack said. "I love you, you know that right."

"Yeah Jack I know," She said. "And I love you all the way around the world and back again." Jack smiled and she stood up.

"See you later," Jack said and she left.

It was a few days later and everyone was sleeping when a woman screaming awakened them. It's Claire. Charlie and Jack rush to her side and Natalie soon follows. She's alone. Charlie's trying to calm her down when Natalie runs over.

"Claire what is it?" Jack asked.

"Someone's trying to hurt my baby," she screamed. "They stabbed me with a needle."

Charlie and Hurley waist no time searching for someone. Natalie and Jack try to calm Claire down.

"Claire maybe you should sit down," Natalie said.

"The person who tried to hurt my baby is still out there," Claire exclaimed.

"Claire, getting this upset isn't good for you or your baby. Charlie and Hurley are looking for whoever did this right now and if they are still out there, Charlie will find them," she said trying to calm Claire. "Just take a few breaths and try to relax, everything is going to be ok."

The next day at the beach Natalie saw Jack talking to Charlie and Kate so she went over to see what was going on.

"Hey," Natalie said. "What are you going to do about whoever attacked Claire last night?"

"Natalie, its doubtful she was attacked, there are no marks, she was probably just dreaming, she's woke up two nights in a row screaming. Her symptoms are textbook symptoms…"

"Of anxiety I know that Jack but your not even going to consider the possibility she was attacked?" Natalie asked.

"I'm more worried that her stress level could trigger an early delivery."

"She's not making it up," Charlie said and walked away.

"I'm going to give her something to calm her down, I'm sure she'll be fine," Jack said. "Why would someone want to hurt her baby?" Jack asked Natalie.

"I don't know but maybe you should entertain the possibility that someone is," Natalie said. "Hurley is getting everyone's names, so we know who everyone is and where they are and all that," Natalie said and walked away.

Natalie walked to find Boone and she found him with Shannon.

"Hey," she said and Boone smiled when he saw her walk towards him. He kissed her. Shannon looked over at them and rolled her eyes, Natalie saw it but didn't make a comment on it.

"Do you think someone attacked Claire?" Natalie asked.

"I mean it's a possibility, we don't know much about this island," Boone said. "There could be others here right?"

"Definitely, there are," Natalie certain. "I've never seen them though," she added quickly as Hurley walked over to them.

"Hey Hurley," Natalie said.

"Hi I'm getting information from everyone, if they have any family on the island so we know who everyone is," he said.

"So you two are brother and sister right?" Hurley asked gesturing to Boone and Shannon.

"Yeah," Boone said. "Why don't you just get the plane manifest, it would make this a lot easier. Just cross off the names of the people who died."

"Who has that?" Hurley asked.

"I give you one guess," Boone said.

"Sawyer," Hurley said.

"Just ask him maybe he'll let you have it," Boone said.

"Not likely," Hurley replied.

"If he won't let you have it let me know and I'll talk to him," Natalie said and Hurley nodded and walked over to Sawyer.

"You'll talk to him," Boone said.

"Yeah," Natalie said.

"Can we talk?" Boone asked.

"Sure," Natalie sighed.

"Come on then," Boone said and he took her hand in his and they walked off.


	7. He's not good enough

Author Note: Thanks to my reviewers, I really appreciate you taking the time to tell me what you think. I hope you enjoy this chapter. 

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted.

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M (for sex, language, rape)

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

"So what is it?" Natalie asked as they ventured into the jungle.

"Is there something between you and Sawyer I should know about?" Boone asked as they walked into the place that used to be Natalie's home.

"No, there isn't," she answered. "You have to believe me," she said sitting down. Boone sat beside her.

"I want to believe you, but its like you can't stay away from him."

"Boone, Sawyer has nothing to do with us," Natalie explained. "I love you, since the day I met you."

"I love you to," Boone said and he kissed her. Natalie wrapped her arms around his neck as he lowered her to the ground, his hands went to the bottom of her shirt and he pulled it off and brought his lips to kiss her neck and between her breasts, he lifted her up and undid her bra and pushed her back to the ground. The ground was hard, the rocks and sticks from the ground were digging into her back and it was extremely painful, but she didn't want to say anything to Boone. Natalie looked up at him and she ran her hands down his chest and then pulled his shirt off. Boone kissed her again and he went to undo her pants.

"Wait," she said sitting up.

"What, what is it?" he asked.

"Are you sure about this? That it's right?"

"Its never going to be more right," Boone said and he pushed her back down and the rocks dug in her back again and she winced in pain, but Boone didn't notice. Boone slipped her shorts and panties down and quickly removed his pants. He quickly entered her and she gasped, but Boone didn't notice. Natalie hadn't been with a guy in a little over three years and it was painful. Between the rocks digging into her legs and back as Boone moved on top of her and then Boone entering her she was in extreme pain and he didn't even notice, it was like he wasn't really there, like he was off somewhere else. She noticed he hadn't even looked at her more than once since they started and his eyes were closed as if he was imagining something else or someone else.

Finally Boone pulled out and moved off of her and reached for his clothes and started to put them on Natalie sat up and grabbed her clothes.

"That was amazing," Boone said zipping his pants and Natalie said nothing, she wiped the tears from her cheeks and started putting on her bra, but her shoulders were sore, Boone heard her softly moan in pain as she put her shirt on and he looked over at her but said nothing. Natalie stood up and slipped her shorts on, her legs hurt as well.

"So you ready to go?" he asked and she nodded and they made their way back to the beach.

It wasn't until they reached the beach that Boone spoke to her.

"So I'll see you later, I need to go see Shannon," he said. Natalie looked at him, exactly what she wanted to hear after she had just slept with her boyfriend, he needed to see his sister.

"Sure whatever," Natalie said and Boone kissed her and walked away, Natalie turned and walked to the caves.

"Jack," she said walking in.

"Natalie there you are," he said. "You ok, you don't look so good," he said.

"I'm fine," she said but one look at Jack and she knew he didn't believe her.

"Can I borrow that peroxide?" she asked.

"Sure," Jack said. "Why do you need it?"

"Sawyer," she lied.

"Still changing his bandages?"

"Someone has to," she said and he handed her the peroxide and some bandages and more medicine.

"Thanks Jack, I'll see you later," she said and walked backwards out of the cave and then made her way back to the beach.

When Natalie got back to the beach, she thought maybe Boone would help her get cleaned up but she noticed Boone was talking to Shannon like he said. They seemed to be in an intense conversation. She saw Boone reach out and tuck a stray wisp of Shannon's hair behind her ear, and then cup her face. She saw the look in his eyes as he looked at Shannon it was the look you gave someone you were in love with, it was the look that was missing when they were together today, when they were not making love but having sex. She turned and went the opposite way to find somewhere to clean herself up at but then saw Sawyer sitting alone so she walked over to Sawyers tent, maybe he would help. She couldn't ask Jack, she had no idea what he would think of her. Sawyer was the only one she felt she could go to.

Sawyer heard someone approach and he looked up.

"Well hey Shortcake, haven't seen you recently," he said smiling up at her from where he sat reading a book, he looked like he was actually happy to see her.

"Yeah hey Sawyer," she said softly.

"Is everything ok?" Sawyer asked and Natalie could have sworn she heard concern in his voice.

"Actually I need your help," Natalie said softly.

"You're asking for my help?" he asked in disbelief, no one really wanted his help. No one asked him to help.

"Its ok, I'll take care of it myself," Natalie said hearing the tone of his voice and turned to walk away.

"No, its alright, come on over," he said and she looked at him. "I mean it, come on over," he said and she did and sat down in front of him.

"What do you need?" he asked softly and she said nothing, she looked away from him. "Natalie," Sawyer said quietly and she looked up at him a shocked expression on her face. "Don't look so shocked I do actually know your name, I just choose not to use it," he told her. "Just tell me what you need," he said and she looked at him and thought she saw concern in his eyes but she was sure she was imaging it, it was probably the sun or something.

"I um…I… I need you to…Could you put this on my back?" she asked handing him the bottle of peroxide, medicine and a bottle of water. She also handed him a cloth and some bandages.

"Your boyfriend can't do it?" he asked.

"He's with Shannon."

"You're much better than she is," Sawyer said and Natalie sat in front of him. "But ok turn around and take your shirt off I guess," he said and Natalie turned around and pulled her shirt off and laid it beside her. Sawyer looked at the scratches on her back. "Your bra, needs to come off to," he told her.

"Oh I…" she began but Sawyer grabbed a blanket he had salvaged from the plane crash and handed it to her.

"Here, I won't look I promise," he said and undid her bra and she pulled it off and put the blanket over her.

"Ok you're bleeding, it's on the back of your shirt," he said and looked at her back. "There are scratches everywhere and tiny rocks stuck in your back," he said as he picked them out.

"Ouch," she said.

"Sorry, you know I'm not trying to hurt you," he said and she nodded.

"So I don't think I have to ask what you were doing to get all this," he said pouring peroxide on a bandage and rubbing her back, she winced as he touched her.

"Ouch," she whispered again.

"Sorry, I'm not trying to hurt you."

"I know," she said.

"So are all these scratches worth it?"

"I don't know."

"You just had sex with the guy you claim to love," Sawyer pointed out.

"Yeah and I'm sure he enjoyed it more than I did," she confessed. "He wasn't in pain the entire time."

"Did he not realize he was hurting you?" Sawyer asked.

"I guess not," she sighed. "I mean the only thing he said was that it was amazing and he said that as he was zipping up his pants and when we got back to the beach he said 'I'll see you later, I need to go see Shannon," she said as a tear escaped her eyes.

"Maybe he wants some time to think," Sawyer suggested.

"Or maybe he just wanted sex," Natalie said and she turned to look at him.

"Well I didn't want to say it, but being a guy myself I know how they can be. They may say they love you but it could be a lie," he told her and he wiped the tears that ran down her cheeks away.

"I want it to be true, it could still be true," Natalie said.

"What do you think?" he asked "It's just me and you here, tell me what you really think," he said

"I think he's still in love with Shannon, I saw the way he was looking at her just now. The way he never looked at me."

"His sister?" Sawyer asked.

"His step-sister, they are not blood-related," she informed him.

"Yeah but still," Sawyer said. "I'm done with your back by the way." He said. "Your legs look bad to, you want me to clean those up?"

"Would you?" she asked and he nodded. Natalie turned around to face him, the blanket still around her. Sawyer gently took her leg and put it in his lap and started to clean it with the peroxide.

"He's always been in love with Shannon, it was her name he called out when we were in bed together that time. All the things he's said to me since we've been on this island is it all a lie? I thought he actually meant them."

"Maybe he did, maybe you should talk to him."

"Maybe," she said as Sawyer put her other leg in his lap and cleaned it up.

"So did you give Hurley the plane manifest?" she asked him.

"Yeah I did," he told her.

"Good," she said smiling.

"All done," Sawyer said and Natalie looked at him.

"Thank you," she said and picked up her bra and put it on, Sawyer fastened it.

"Hold on a minute," Sawyer said and he got up and went and rummaged through his stuff.

"Put this on, it's cleaner than that one," Sawyer said handing her another shirt. She took it and put it on. "Go and get yourself cleaned up a little better." he added.

"Thanks Sawyer," she said. "You know if you showed people the side of you that you show me they might actually like you." Natalie said.

"Well maybe you're the only one who sees these sides of me because you're the only person I like on this island," Sawyer said and Natalie stood up.

"Yeah I like you to Sawyer," she said smiling.

"You ever going to tell me who left that bruise on your arm?"

"Sorry No," she said and walked away.

Before Natalie took the peroxide back to Jack she went and cleaned up like Sawyer suggested. She felt a little better when she was done, but she was still in pain. She took the bottle back to Jack, who asked again if she was ok and she assured him she was. Then she made her way back to the beach. She went to see Sawyer but he was gone when she got there. She really didn't know why she went back to Sawyer's makeshift tent but she did. She decided to wait on him, so she sat down. When she sat down a yawn escaped her mouth, she didn't realize she was so tired. So after folding one of Sawyer's shirts up to use as a pillow, she laid down and soon drifted off to sleep. When Sawyer came back that's how he found her, asleep. He picked up the blanket and put it over her. Then he leaned down and looked at her and whispered.

"What the hell are you doing to me?"

When Natalie woke up she saw Sawyer sitting next to her.

"Hey," he said putting down his book.

"Hi," she whispered. "Sorry I didn't mean to fall asleep," she said getting up.

"I should go," she said quickly and ran out of the tent.

When she got a few feet away she saw Boone was alone so she walked over to him.

"Hey," he said smiling. "I was coming to look for you."

"I need to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me," Natalie said.

"Alright."

"Are you still in love with Shannon, because if you are I need to know."

"What!" Boone exclaimed. "Why would you even ask me that?"

"Because Boone, when you were with me today you were with me physically but not emotionally or mentally," she told him. "You didn't realize you were hurting me."

"I hurt you," he said "I didn't mean to, I didn't realize."

"Look its ok, its taken care of now."

"Good," Boone said. "I love you."

"I love you to Boone but I saw the way you were looking at Shannon when you were talking to her earlier."

"Natalie that's nothing," he said as he stepped closer to her. "Please believe me," he added and kissed her.

"I believe you."

"Good," he said and kissed her again. "I love you Shannon."

"What did you call me?" she asked pushing him away.

"Natalie," Boone said.

"No, don't," she said holding her hand up. "I was crazy to believe that you would just forget about her" she added getting upset and Boone reached out to touch her "DON'T!" she yelled and turned to walk away.

"Natalie I didn't mean it, I love you," he said.

"Were you always thinking of Shannon when you were with me?" she asked. "Wait don't answer that I don't think I want to know."

"Natalie please I love you," Boone said and he grabbed her arm.

"No you don't," she angrily. "Let go of me," Boone let go of her.

"Your upset, I'll give you some time to cool off," he said and walked away.

Natalie watched Boone walk away from her, tears rolled down her cheeks. She wiped them away as she stared after him.

"I don't need time to cool off, I know exactly how I feel," she said to herself and walked the opposite direction. She was headed back into the jungle when someone stepped in front of her.

"Where you off to Shortcake?"

"Sawyer, just leave me alone please."

"When you just ran out like that I thought something might be wrong," he told her. "Are you crying?" he asked but Natalie wouldn't look at him. He put his hand under her chin and tilted her face up to look at him. "You are crying. What happened?" Sawyer asked. "What did he do?"

"Nothing Sawyer," she said. "Just let me go."

"Go where?" he asked.

"Back to where I was before the plane crash, before I met you, before I saw Boone again, when I was alone and miserable but my heart was in one piece then."

"What did the pretty boy do to make you come to this decision?"

"It doesn't matter"

"Maybe you should sit down and talk to someone first." he suggested. "Before you just run off and disappear, there are other people who might actually miss you."

"Maybe." she said. "O.k." she agreed and followed Sawyer back to his tent.

Sawyer sat down

"Now talk." he said.

"I don't know what happened, I can't figure it out."

Jack walked down to the beach to look for Natalie, he was worried, she didn't seem to feel well earlier and now he couldn't find her.

"Hey, you seen my sister, Natalie?" Jack asked Charlie who was passing by.

"She's with Sawyer, I just saw them walk over to his tent," Charlie answered pointing towards Sawyer's tent.

"Thanks," Jack said and walked over there. He was going to burst in and demand to know why Natalie was again with Sawyer but he heard them talking and decided not to, he decided to listen instead.

"Go on," Sawyer said.

"Everything was fine between me and Boone until today, maybe I was fooling myself thinking Boone and I could actually work out, we never will," She said miserably. "We didn't before and we can't now."

"What happened?" Sawyer asked. "Besides him hurting you when you had sex earlier today."

"When I told him he hurt me he said he didn't mean to but I don't know if he actually meant it, it didn't sound like it," she sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "And when I told him I was ok and that it was taken care of, he didn't even care how bad I was hurt because he didn't ask," she said getting upset "He didn't even ask who took care of me so he doesn't know it was you."

"What did he say?"

"All he said was Good, I love you."

"And then?" Sawyer asked.

"I told him I love him to but I saw the way he was looking at Shannon and he said it was nothing and asked me if I believed him and I told him I did."

"What happened then?"

"He kissed me and said," Natalie stopped as a tear rolled down her cheek, she hastily wiped it away, " He said I love you Shannon."

"WHAT!" Sawyer exclaimed, "He called you Shannon again?" Sawyer asked shocked.

"And then he acted like he wanted to get mad at me because I was upset at being called Shannon. We argued and I went to walk away and he grabbed me and says he loves me and I told him to let me go," she said angrily. "And he told me I was upset and he'd give me some time to cool off," she added "Of course I'm upset you damn moron you called me another woman again."

"Ok breathe," Sawyer said and Natalie looked at him, "I know its difficult but try to calm down." He said and tears started to run down Natalie's cheeks.

"Hey Shortcake, everything's going to be ok," he assured her, Natalie leaned against him laying her head on his chest, Sawyer was shocked by this at first but he finally wrapped his arms around her.

"I can't stay here anymore I'm going back to my home in the jungle," she told him after she finally calmed down.

"Natalie don't let the way he has acted influence your decision," he said and he pulled away and looked at her. Don't you want to stay here with your brother?" he asked wiping the tears from her cheeks with his thumbs.

"Yeah I do," Natalie answered. "I don't want to loose him again."

"Think on it a little longer, don't make a decision while your upset but if you do leave don't go without saying good-bye."

"I won't."

"But if it makes any difference and means anything at all I want you to stay," Sawyer said.

"I'll keep that in mind," she told him "See ya later, Sawyer," she said and walked away.

Natalie walked out of Sawyers tent she didn't see Jack.

"Natalie," Jack said and she jumped and turned around.

"What is it?"

"We need to talk," he told her. "No excuses, now," he added and she knew she wouldn't get out of it so she agreed and they walked off together.

"So you want to tell me what's going on?" Jack asked.

"What do you mean?"

"Well when I heard you were with Sawyer I was concerned."

"Why?" she asked. "Its not like he's going to do anything to me, He's not going to hurt me Jack."

"That peroxide you got from me it wasn't for Sawyer it was for you," Jack stated. "You let him take care of you," Jack added frustrated.

"How do you know that?" she asked crossing her arms "Were you eavesdropping on me and Sawyer?"

"I call it looking out for my little sister," Jack said angrily

"I can take care of myself," She shot back.

"I know that but why are you talking to Sawyer instead of me?" Jack asked hurt in his voice.

"Jack," Natalie said sitting on a rock. "Its like Sawyer's a different person with me than he is with everyone else on this island. If everyone saw him the way I did, you wouldn't think he was such a bad guy," she explained. "He's been like a sounding board for me to talk about Boone with."

"Are you and Boone over?"

"Maybe."

"What happened?" Jack asked.

"Do you even have to ask? You were listening to me and Sawyer."

"Yeah I was," he admitted. "How bad are you hurt?" he asked concerned.

"I'm ok, my back and shoulders are sore, as well as my legs."

"Let me see," Jack told her.

"I'm ok."

"I'm a doctor just let me check your back," he said and she reluctantly agreed and pulled her shirt up. "There are some bruises now, lots of scratches," he said. "but it looks like Sawyer did a good job," Jack added in surprise. "You'll probably be sore for a while, best not to sleep on your back."

"Yes sir Doctor."

"One more question," he said. "Are you going to leave?"

"I don't know."

"Well I want you to stay," Jack told her.

Natalie had now wandered back down to the beach

"So I see your still here," someone said and she turned around and saw Sawyer behind her.

"Yep still here."

"So you decided not to leave," he stated.

"How do you know I'm not coming to say good-bye?" she asked.

"Are you?"

"No," she answered. "I haven't made up my mind yet."

"If you really wanted to leave I think you'd already be gone," Sawyer said and walked away.

Natalie watched him walk away, when he was gone she felt a hand grab her arm and she turned around

"Boone, what do you want?" she asked.

"Locke is going out to search for Charlie and Claire and I'm going to help."

"Isn't that dangerous?" Natalie asked.

"It could be, but they have to be found," Boone said.

"Well be careful, watch your back around Locke I'm not so sure if I trust him yet."

"I'll be ok," Boone said and lightly kissed her lips. "Locke said Jack wanted you to look after Sayid until he gets back."

"Alright, I'll go now," she said and Boone left.

Natalie turned around.

"Damn it Sawyer," she said jumping. "I thought you went the other way."

"I came back," he said and she rolled her eyes. "What did he want?"

"Are you always so nosey?"

"Most of the time," he said. "So."

"He's going to help search for Charlie and Claire."

"And you're worried about him?"

"Yeah I am," she admitted.

"He'll be fine," Sawyer assured her.

"I'm sure he will, but I have to go now," she said.

"Go where?"

"To look after Sayid until Jack gets back," she answered and left.

Natalie walked to the caves and went inside to see Sayid laying down

"Hey Sayid, how are you feeling, I know that's a dumb question," she said.

"I'm feeling better," he said as she sat down.

"Jack asked me to stay with you while he was gone looking for Charlie and Claire," Natalie said. "Boone went to," she added.

"Nothing is going to happen to him he'll be fine," Sayid assured her.

"I know that but it doesn't mean I won't worry."

"I know," Sayid said. "So I hear you've been spending a lot of time with Sawyer while I've been gone, Jack doesn't like it."

"Maybe I have," she said.

"Why?"

"I don't know, he's different when he's with me," she told him. "I don't know any other way to explain it," she added.

"He actually likes you," Sayid said.

"Maybe, I mean he said maybe I was the only person on this island he actually likes,"

"And…" Sayid started but was interrupted when Sawyer came in.

Natalie looked over at Sawyer and knew he was probably here to start trouble.

"Don't Sawyer," Natalie said and he looked over at her and raised his eyebrows.

"You want give us a minute alone Shortcake?" Sawyer asked.

"No," she said. "And do not talk to me like I'm a child," she added crossing her arms. "I'll stand over there," she added pointing to the other side of the cave. Sawyer watched her go and stand on the other side of the cave, then when he realized she really wasn't leaving he turned to Sayid and started to talk.

Natalie really wasn't paying that much attention to what they were saying, her mind was kind of wandering anyway. She was to busy thinking that Sawyer looked really good in those jeans, He was a very attractive man. She was lost in her thoughts until Sayid said something that brought her back and she listened more closely to what they were saying.

"I was taken prisoner by the French Woman."

"The one that's been sending out a distress signal for the past sixteen years, she's alive?" Sawyer said.

"She was on a science expedition, she said they were shipwrecked."

"She alone?" Sawyer asked.

"She said there were others on this island."

"Her people."

"No, she believed they had all gotten sick, so she murdered her entire team."

"Right and these others, who the hell are they?"

"I don't know,. She's never seen them."

"She's never seen them but she knows they are there."

"If you believe her."

"Do you?" Sawyer asked.

"Maybe, Maybe not."

"But on my way back I heard something in the jungle surrounding me."

"Like what?"

"Do you have something to say to me Sawyer or are you going to continue asking me questions I don't know the answers to."

"Tides coming up on the beach. The plane hull is almost in the water. I kept your signal fire burning," he said and left.

"Will you be ok for a minute?" she asked and he nodded and she followed Sawyer out.

"Sawyer wait," she called out and he stopped and turned around.

"What do you want?" he asked.

"Do you believe what he said about others being on this island, before we crashed?"

"What do you believe?" Sawyer asked.

"I think they are there, just because you haven't seen them doesn't mean they don't exist."

"Maybe," Sawyer said and Natalie looked at him.

"I should be getting back to check on his leg, although I'm sure he's fine," Natalie said and she turned to walk back to the cave.

"Wait," he said.

"What?"

"Your back ok now?" he asked.

"Its still a little sore, but I'm going to be fine, I can handle a few bruises and scratches, I've had a lot worse."

"I'm sure you have," Sawyer said.

"Why can't you be like this with anyone else? Why did you choose me to be this way with?"

"I didn't choose you," he said. "It just happened."

"Sawyer," she said. "Sayid and Jack they are not the bad guy you want him to be, and if you weren't you, you would realize that," she said and walked back to the cave.

"Hey what the hell is that supposed to mean," Sawyer said as he followed her into the cave.

"What it means," she said turning around to face him. "Is that if you would try to be just a little bit nicer to everyone and make less judgements about them, you might find that there are people who actually like you."

"Haven't we had this conversation before?" he asked annoyed.

"Yes and I see it hasn't sunk into that thick skull of yours," Natalie said frustrated and she turned to Sayid. "Are you still, ok? Do you need anything right now?"

"No I am fine," Sayid said.

"Ok I'm going for a walk," Natalie said and then she turned to Sawyer. "Do not do anything stupid while I am gone," Natalie ordered.

"Yes Ma'am," Sawyer said watching her leave.

"You actually like her don't you?" Sayid asked.

"Who?"

"Natalie, you like her, you actually care about her, your attracted to her," Sayid stated. "You have some real feelings for her."

"No I don't care about her," he said, "I have no feelings of any kind for her," he said aggravated "Why would I be attracted to her?"

"Well any man that has eyes and can see, knows she is beautiful, her long blonde hair, beautiful green eyes, perfect smile," Sayid said "Most men on this island think she is beautiful, I heard a guy before I left talking about how attracted he was to her."

"Boone," Sawyer said.

"No Scott I think," Sayid told him. "But most men on this island are attracted to her. Boone, Scott, you."

"I'm not attracted to her," Sawyer said stubbornly.

"You don't think people pick up on how different you are with her?"

"I'm not attracted to her," Sawyer said again and stormed out.

"Keep telling yourself that and maybe you'll believe it," Sayid said to himself.

When Natalie returned to the caves Sawyer was gone.

"So has Jack came back yet?" Natalie asked.

"No," Sayid said and Natalie looked away.

"I'm sure he's fine and that he'll be back soon," Sayid said.

"Its going to be dark soon," Natalie said ."I don't like the idea of him and the others that went with him, being out there in the jungle in the dark, especially if what the French woman said is true."

"They can all take care of themselves, plus they have Locke. They will be fine." Sayid said

"Are you ok?" she asked and he nodded.

"So what is going on with you and Sawyer?" Sayid asked.

"Nothing," she answered, Sayid looked at her as if he didn't believe her.

"Its true, nothing," she told him.

"Of course, nothing." Sayid said.

It was beginning to get dark when Jack and Kate came back with Charlie.

"Jack," Natalie said jumping up. "Charlie," she said.

Jack checked Charlie over once he sat down and gave him a blanket.

"Is he ok?" Natalie asked Jack, "He doesn't look so good."

He was hanging from a tree, dead," Jack said.

"What about Claire?" Natalie asked.

"We don't know where she is at," Jack answered.

"So is Boone back to?" Natalie asked.

"No, he went the other way with Locke," Jack told her. "He'll be fine, he's safe with Locke," Jack told her and she walked out of the cave and down to the beach. She looked out into the jungle when she arrived back to the beach.

"Your boyfriend didn't make it back yet," Sawyer said standing next to her.

"Boone is still out there with Locke, its getting dark, its not safe for them to be out there," she said. "I know Boone and I have been disagreeing the last few days but that doesn't mean I want him hurt."

"I know that," Sawyer said. "So Boone is still your boyfriend, even after he called you Shannon again?"

"Right now yes."

"You're still going to be with him after that?" Sawyer stated.

"I don't know," she said honestly and turned to face him.

"He doesn't deserve you," Sawyer said putting his hands on her shoulders. "You are gorgeous and smart. Your sweet and caring and you give people a chance no matter what everyone else thinks or tells you about them," Sawyer added and he let his hands slip down her arms. "Boone doesn't deserve you, he's not good enough for you. You shouldn't be with him."

"Who should I be with, you?" she asked.

"No, I'm not good enough for you either," Sawyer said and walked away.


	8. Sawyer to the Rescue

Thanks for the reviews. The song in this chapter is memory from the Musical, Cats. Enjoy this chapter. 

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted.

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M (for sex, language and rape)

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

When Natalie woke up she went to see if Boone had returned yet, he wasn't with Shannon, so she went to the caves.

"Jack," she said. "Are Boone and Locke back? Have you seen them?"

"I haven't seen them yet, but they could be back," Jack told her.

"Ok, if you see Boone tell him I'm looking for him please."

"I will Natalie," Jack said. "He's fine, they are probably on their way back now."

"I hope so," Natalie said.

Not long after Natalie left, Boone and Locke arrived at the cave.

"There you two are? You ok?"

"Yeah we're fine Jack," Locke answered.

"Boone, Natalie's been looking for you, she's been so worried something happened to you," Jack said. "She's probably headed down to the beach."

"Alright Jack thanks," Boone said and he walked out.

Boone went down to the beach, he wanted to see Shannon first. He found her sitting on the sand looking out at the ocean. Regardless of how she acted, she really did care about Boone and she was worried about him.

So is this what you've been doing since I've been gone?" Boone asked. "The view isn't going to change," Boone said and Shannon turned to look.

"Boone," she said getting up and running over to him. She threw her arms around him. Boone was taken by surprise at first, but he finally wrapped his arms around her and sighed.

"I was so worried that something happened to you when you didn't come back," she said pulling away and looking at him.

"Well I'm perfectly fine," he said.

"I'm glad to see you're fine." Shannon said. "I know that you don't think I care at all about you Boone, but I do and when you didn't come back I was so worried that something happened."

"Calm down, I'm fine," Boone said. "I didn't know you cared."

"I do though," Shannon said. "I know i act like I don't but you know I love you Boone and I know you love me, but we shouldn't and its just wrong on many levels but when we're together it feels right and I never want it to end no matter how I act the next morning."

"Shannon what are you saying?" Boone asked.

"That its time we stopped acting like we don't care and stop caring about what everyone else thinks and think about us and what makes us happy."

"Really," Boone said shocked.

"Yeah really," Shannon said and she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him.

Natalie was walking by about this time, when she looked over and saw Boone and Shannon kissing, their hands were all over each other. She ran off into the jungle. Sawyer saw her go and looked to where she was looking and saw why she was upset. He stood up and marched over.

"Ahem," he cleared his throat. Boone and Shannon broke apart and looked at him. "I hate to interrupt this reunion with you and your step sister," Sawyer said putting emphasis on the last word. "But What about Natalie? She saw you two."

"Oh no," Boone said covering his face with his hands.

"If you don't want to be with her anymore, go find her and tell her now, don't drag it out and make it more painful, because you've caused her enough pain already," Sawyer told him getting angry.

"You're telling me what to do," Boone said in disbelief.

"Listen you go and find her and do what you have to do, apologize, break up, whatever, but go and do it now." Sawyer ordered him. And Boone looked at him "Go now Pretty boy," Sawyer demanded. "I hope you know where she is."

"I have an idea," Boone said and left. Sawyer looked at Shannon in disgust and left. He waited a few minutes and then followed Boone.

Natalie ran until she reached the place that had been her home. She collapsed on the ground and cried. _How could he do this to me, He said he loves me now I know its all a lie, I was just a replacement for Shannon. _She thought.

Boone went into the jungle, he hoped Natalie went to where she had lived before. He saw it and he approached slowly

"Natalie," he said.

"_Oh no he can't know I've been crying she thought. _She quickly wiped off her face as Boone walked in.

"Natalie, I'm sorry I didn't mean for you to see what you saw," Boone said.

"Your sorry," Natalie said. "How can you even stand here in front of me and even attempt to apologize," she told him. "You've been leading me on all this time, your not the guy I thought you were. I wanted to believe you forgot about Shannon but I knew in the back of my mind it wasn't true," she said now getting angry.

"I can't help that I love her Natalie, I didn't want to," he explained. "I never planned it."

"I don't care anymore," Natalie told him as she stood up. "Just leave me alone, I don't want you to come back here again."

"Natalie I still care about you and we can still be friends."

"I don't want to be your friend Boone," she told him coolly.

"I'm sorry Natalie, its over then, No looking back, just forward," Boone said and left.

When he was gone, tears poured down Natalie's face and she fell to the ground sobbing. She was laying on her stomach with her head buried in her hands. Sawyer waited a few minutes and walked inside. He saw her lying on the ground sobbing uncontrollably. He went over and knelt down beside her.

"Hey," he whispered.

"Please go away, I want to be alone," she sobbed.

"I know that, but I'm not leaving," Sawyer said and he reached out and touched her back. "Natalie," he said softly. "Sit up," he added. "Natalie, please," Sawyer said and she finally sat up after a few minutes but wouldn't look at him. "You can look at me," he said.

"No," she whispered.

"Natalie," he said and he gently placed his hand under her chin and turned her face to look at him. "Are you ok?" he asked, a stupid question and he knew it.

"No I'm not!" she yelled. "I feel like my heart has been ripped into, stomped on and shattered into a thousand pieces and I don't know what to do," she said breaking out into tears again.

"Natalie," Sawyer said, he wasn't good at consoling crying women, he usually was the cause of them crying, he didn't know exactly what he was supposed to do. But he wrapped his arms around her, she leaned against him and Sawyer whispered in her ear, "Everything will be ok," _I'm here now and I'm going to make sure no one hurts you again _he added to himself. After a few minutes Natalie calmed down a little and looked up and her eyes met Sawyer's.

"Sawyer." she said as if finally realizing he was there.

"Yeah its me." Sawyer said, "You ready to go back to the beach now?"

"No, I can't go back," she said.

"What! You're not going to stay here alone are you?" Sawyer asked.

"Its better that way," she told him. "I was alone before you crashed here."

"You don't want to stay here, come back with me," Sawyer whispered.

"Sawyer its not a good idea, I never should have came in the first place," she told him. "I should stay here, but your welcome to come back anytime you want."

"Natalie think about this," Sawyer pleaded. "Don't stay here alone, come back with me. Stay with me," he said "I never say this often," he said. "but Please," he added. "Please come back with me,"

"Why?" she asked.

"We need you, Jack needs you," Sawyer said. "You really want to be apart from your brother again?"

"No," she answered.

"Then come back."

"Is there any other reason I should come back?"

"Well…I want you to," Sawyer said so quietly she almost didn't hear him and there was something in the quietness of his voice that made her want to go back with him.

"Ok fine, but I don't want to be near Boone," she told him.

"You don't have to be," Sawyer said and he stood up and helped her stand up as well and they made their way back.

When they reached the beach Sawyer led her to his tent and he sat down and she sat down beside him. She didn't say anything for a few minutes.

"Thank You," she said quietly.

"Your welcome, even though I didn't do anything," Sawyer said.

"Yeah you did," Natalie said softly as Boone walked by, not even acknowledging her. She saw him walking over to Shannon. Tears ran down Natalie's face again.

"Natalie."

"I'm fine Sawyer, I'm just going to have to get used to seeing him with Shannon now, it will take a while but I'll manage somehow," she said. "Even though I thought Shannon and Sayid had a thing but apparently not."

"He made a mistake choosing Shannon over you. Your better than her in every way and one day when he looks back on it he's going to be sorry he let you go."

"Yeah, Whatever," Natalie said rolling her eyes and wiping a tear off of her face.

"It's true," Sawyer said.

"If you say so," Natalie said clearly not believing him.

"So tell me what did you do before crashing on this island?" Sawyer asked changing the subject., to try and get her mind off of things.

"Oh I was nothing great, I was just a secretary at a law firm for a while but that didn't work out so I took a job I was ashamed of."

"What kind of job?" Sawyer asked and she said nothing.

"Natalie what kind of job?" he asked again "There's nothing you've done that can be worse than what I've done"

"I was a dancer"

"A dancer" he repeated "Like a ballerina?"

"No Sawyer, I danced around a pole in barely nothing. I don't know why I did it, I never enjoyed it. The way men look at you while your dancing, the way some of them treated you, like you had no feelings and you didn't matter" she told him "It made you feel worthless"

"Your not worthless" Sawyer said

"You know if I ever went to therapy a therapist could make millions off of me" she said.

"You think so?" he asked

"Yeah. I would never go to therapy" she told him. "As long as there is beer who needs therapy"

"I totally agree," Sawyer said.

"Jack never knew I was a dancer and I had myself convinced I was working there until I accomplished my dream."

"And what was your dream?" Sawyer asked interested.

"You'll think it was stupid," she told him.

"Try me," Sawyer said.

"I wanted to be a singer"

"You can sing" Sawyer said.

"I guess yeah I can" she said shyly.

"I could never sing, except in the shower" Sawyer said "I can't carry a tune in a bucket with a lid on it"

"Oh my, that's bad" Natalie said. "I wanted to sing, Jack always had confidence I could sing if I wanted to," she added. "I Um…thought it would be fun to move to New York and be on Broadway or something."

"Really," Sawyer said surprised. "I never thought of you as the Broadway type,"

"Maybe I'm not," she said.

"Sing something for me" Sawyer said.

"What! Here! Now!" she exclaimed.

"Yeah, come on I want to hear you" Sawyer said.

"It's been a while since I sang."

"So come on, you got my hopes up now, do you really want to let me down," he said smirking.

Your not going to leave me alone until I sing are you?"

"Nope."

"Fine," Natalie sighed and she began to sing, she wasn't in the mood to sing, all she wanted to do is just lay down and cry for about a week. But she sang the first song that popped into her head, which was from the Musical Cats, it was Memory.

"Memory All alone in the moonlight, I can smile at the old days, I was beautiful then. I remember the time I knew what happiness was, Let the memory live again. Every street lamp Seems to beat a fatalistic warning, Someone mutters, And the street lamp gutters, And soon it will be morning. Daylight I must wait for the sunrise I must think of a new life, And I musn't give in, When the dawn comes, Tonight will be a memory too, And a new day will begin."

Jack and Hurley were making their way back to the beach when they heard singing.

"Dude, do you hear that?" Hurley asked.

"Yeah someone's singing," Jack said and stopped.

"It sounds so beautiful and sad," Hurley said. "I wonder who it is."

"Natalie," Jack answered. "I'd forgotten how beautiful her voice is," Jack said and they walked on.

When she finished she looked up at Sawyer.

"Your voice is beautiful," Sawyer said.

"Thank you."

"Why did you ever resort to dancing around a pole if you could sing like that?"

"Its not easy to break into the music business or Broadway and could we please not mention my dancing career, I'd rather no one know."

"Then why did you tell me?" he asked curiously.

"Because, I don't know I just did," she answered "Should I not have? Can I trust you to not tell anyone?"

"You can trust me," Sawyer said. "If you give me a nice little lap dance," he added and she thought he was just joking.

"You're joking?"

"No I'm not, its not like I'm asking you to strip for me and dance around a pole," he told her "But of course you know how to do that as well."

"Sawyer what's wrong with you?" She asked. "You've never acted like this around me before."

"Nothing is wrong maybe this is who I am," he told her. "Now how about that lap dance?"

"No, you're such a jerk, Jack tried to tell me but I wouldn't listen. Just leave me alone," she said and walked out.

As he watched her leave, he didn't know why he said why he did but after telling him she used to dance around a pole the words just sort of came out of his mouth. He had an image of her in barely nothing swinging around a pole and swinging her hips. He knew he shouldn't have said it as the words were coming out of his mouth but he couldn't stop them. But that was the real him and he shouldn't have to hide it.

Natalie was walking towards the jungle when she saw Jack and Hurley.

"I heard you singing," Jack said. "You still sound amazing."

"Thanks Jack."

"Yeah beautiful." Hurley added.

"Thank you."

"Are you ok?" Jack asked.

"I'm fine, it's just, Boone and I are over."

"Oh I'm sorry Natalie, do you want to talk about it?" Jack asked concerned.

"No not yet, I need to go for a walk and clear my head," she said and Jack nodded and they went their separate ways.

Sawyer was still thinking about what he had said, he shouldn't have said it and he was sorry he said it because he probably just lost his best friend. He got up and went to find her. He headed to the jungle hoping that was where she went.

Natalie was thinking through what Sawyer said and wondered why his attitude changed all of a sudden or maybe it was the real him; he couldn't hide it forever. She was crazy to believe he was a nice guy, but why did he act the way he did towards her then. She was lost in her thoughts when someone grabbed her.

"Hello babydoll.."

"Scott," she said "Let go of me." she told him and he did let go of her. "What do you want?"

"To know what you see in that skinny pretty boy and the southern redneck."

"That's none of your business," she told him and backed away, he advanced to her.

"Scott," she said. "What are you doing?"

"Nothing you don't want," he said.

Sawyer was making his way through the jungle looking for Natalie. He thought maybe she had went to her home before Sayid brought her back to the beach. Where else would she go.

Scott leaned forward and kissed her.

"Get off of me, what the hell do you think your doing?" Natalie asked outraged.

"What you want me to do," Scott said as he ran his hands over her body and between her legs. "What we didn't get to do a few days ago."

"Stop it!" she demanded pushing his hand off of her. "Don't touch me!" she told him and stomped on his foot.

"OW!" Scott said and he glared at her, He then drew his hand back and slapped her across the face and she fell down from the impact of the slap and somehow managed to hit her cheek on the tree.

Scott bent down over her. "You know, I've had my eye on you since the moment I saw you." Scott said running his fingers over her body.

"Please leave me alone," Natalie pleaded. Scott bent down and kissed her.

"Stop!" Natalie cried out swinging her arms to try and fight him off and she managed to hit him.

"Ok that's enough," he said and he slapped her and held her arms down. "The sooner you cooperate, the sooner we both can get what we want."

"I don't want this!" she yelled.

"Yes you do," he said and then started to rip her clothes off. Once he got Natalie's clothes off he pulled his pants down and entered her roughly, Natalie cried out. She couldn't believe this was happening, why was this happening to her. When Scott was done he stood up and pulled his pants up and looked down at Natalie.

"Natalie, " he said looking at her, he heard a sound in the bushes, "Don't say a word, Don't tell anyone what happened or you'll be sorry," he told her and ran off, fearing of who or what it could be. Natalie couldn't move, she hurt all over. She curled up in a ball. Sawyer came out of the bushes and saw her lying there, curled up in a ball. Her clothes were ripped, she was almost naked, her shirt was the only thing that wasn't fully ripped. He saw blood around her.

"Oh my God!" he exclaimed running over. He bent down, "Natalie," he said and he touched her arm.

"NO!" she yelled and moved away. "Don't touch me!" she exclaimed. "Please just leave me alone."

"Natalie," Sawyer said. "Look at me, its Sawyer," he said. "Natalie," Sawyer said again and she looked over.

"Sawyer," she whispered staring at him.

"Damn it Natalie, who did this?" he asked and she saw anger in his eyes.

"It doesn't matter," she whispered.

"You're bleeding everywhere Natalie, I need to get you to Jack, he can take care of you." Sawyer said.

"No Jack can't know," she pleaded. "Please don't tell him," she pleaded.

"How can I tell him when I don't know exactly what happened myself," He told her. "Can you stand up?" he asked.

"I'll try," she said and Sawyer helped her to stand up.

"Can you walk?' he asked and Natalie took a few steps.

"Ouch," she said.

"I can carry you," he said and he picked her up and hurried towards the beach.


	9. Don't Go

Thanks to my reviewers. Enjoy this chapter.

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted.

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M (for language, sex and rape)

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
Summary: Natalie had been stranded on the island three years when the plane crashed. When she ventures to the beach and sees the survivors she is drawn to keep coming back until she id discovered and brought back to meet two of the last people she ever thought she would see again.

When they were almost to the beach Natalie told Sawyer to stop.

"Why?" he asked.

"I'm not going to Jack, he can't see me like this," she said.

"Fine, ok" he agreed and he laid her on the ground. "I'll get some water and bandages and a change of clothes and be right back ok?"

"Hurry," Natalie said and Sawyer ran off.

It wasn't long before he returned. He sat down on the ground and began to clean the blood off her legs where she fell and he cleaned up her arms and wiped her face. He was being so gentle as he cleaned her up, almost as if he was afraid she would break. After he got her cleaned up he helped her get her clothes on.

"You ok?" he asked and she nodded.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked and she shook her head.

"Can I ask you a question then," he said and she looked at him and nodded.

"Were you…Did somebody…Were you raped Natalie?" Tears started to pool in Natalie's eyes.

"Yes," she whispered as they fell.

"Natalie I…" he said. "You should really go see your brother, what if I did something wrong cleaning you up?"

"No," Natalie told him and she looked over at him.

"You have scratches all over your legs," he told her. "I know you're hurting," he added.

"My face?" she asked touching it.

"Its fine, no scratches, Its beautiful," he told her, "Its still beautiful," he said softly and they were quiet.

"You ready to go?" he asked.

"Yeah."

"Can you walk ok?"

"Yeah I'll be fine, I need to walk onto the beach anyway, people will ask questions if I don't," she said and Natalie and Sawyer walked to the beach.

Sawyer led her to his tent and they sat down. Natalie didn't say anything and Sawyer had no clue what to say to her. He didn't want to say the wrong thing and upset her. Finally after an hour of silence, Natalie spoke.

"I'm going to get some water," Natalie said and stood up.

"You want me to go with you?"

"No, I'll be ok," she told him and he nodded and she limped off.

Natalie walked to the caves to get some water. Jack looked up when she walked in.

"Hey," he said.

"Hi Jack," she said quietly.

"Are you ok? You're limping."

"Oh I twisted my ankle," she answered and bent down to fill her bottle. "Ow," she said quietly.

"Natalie," Jack said as she stood up. "You don't look like you're ok," he added concerned.

"But I am ok," she assured Jack.

"Natalie, since you've moved back to the beach I don't know what's going on with you," he said. "I'm just worried about you."

"I know Jack and I'm fine I promise."

Natalie walked back to the beach, Sawyer was sitting in the same place she left.

"You see Jack?" he asked.

"Yeah and he asked questions about why I was limping. I made up something."

"Listen Shortcake, he's your brother…"

"Promise me you won't tell him," Natalie pleaded. "Please."

"If that's what you want."

"It is," she said and he nodded.

"Its getting dark, I'm going to bed," she told him.

"Ok," Sawyer said and he stood up. "Goodnight."

"Good night Sawyer," Natalie said softly and walked away.

That night Natalie was tossing and turning in her sleep, dreaming.

"_What are you doing?" Natalie asked_

"_Nothing you don't want."_

"_Stop!" Natalie yelled as she was thrown too the ground. He ripped her clothes off._

"_Please don't," Natalie pleaded._

People heard her yelling in her sleep and started looking around. Boone was the first one over, followed by Charlie.

"Natalie," Boone said. "Wake up."

She didn't wake up and she was still yelling.

"No!" she yelled out still asleep, "Get off of me!"

Sawyer finally woke up and saw people looking around and then he heard Natalie yell and he jumped up and ran to her. When he got there Boone and Charlie were trying to wake her up.

"What's going on?" Sawyer asked.

"She's having a nightmare, she won't wake up." Boone answered.

"Natalie wake up," Sawyer said moving closer to her, up by her face. "Natalie," he said slowly running his finger along her cheek. She was still yelling.

"NO!" she yelled waking up and sitting straight up, she sat right up into Sawyer's arms and he immediately wrapped them around her.

"Shh, its ok. It was only a dream, you're ok," he whispered. Natalie was shaking and holding onto to Sawyer as if she never wanted to let him go. After a few minutes she was starting to calm down. She still had a tight grip on Sawyer but she looked up at him.

"Sawyer," she whispered.

"Yes its just me and Boone and Charlie, there's no one here that's going to hurt you, I promise ok." He said and she nodded.

"Natalie," Boone said and she looked over. "Are you ok?"

"I'm fine just a nightmare," she told him. "I'm sorry I woke you."

"Its ok," Charlie said. "But if everything's ok I'm going to go now."

"Ok go ahead I'm fine," Natalie said and he nodded and left. "You can go if you want Boone, I'll be fine. Sawyer's here and I'll be ok."

"Ok," he reluctantly agreed and walked off.

"Natalie, if you're ok now, could you let go of my arms?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm sorry," Natalie apologized.

"Its ok, you were scared," Sawyer said. "You were dreaming about what happened."

"Yes," she said.

"Natalie you need to talk to someone, anyone about what happened about what this guy did to you."

"No! I can't," she said. "I don't want to argue with you, I'm tired."

"Fine, I'll go so you can sleep," he said.

"Don't go," she said grabbing his hand. "Will you stay in case I have another nightmare?" she asked quietly.

"Ok," he agreed and Natalie laid down, Sawyer laid beside her.

"Thank you Sawyer, for everything," she told him as she drifted off to sleep.

"You're welcome," he said brushing a stray hair out of her face and he watched her sleep most of the night before deciding it was ok for him to go to sleep.

The next morning Boone was getting some water when Jack walked in.

"Morning," Jack said.

"Yeah Morning," Boone replied.

"Is everything ok?"

"Natalie had a nightmare last night," Boone told him.

"Is she ok?" Jack asked concerned.

"Yeah she's ok, Charlie and I were trying to get her to wake up and Sawyer was the only one who could get her to calm down."

"Sawyer," Jack said.

"Yeah and once she woke up and calmed down, he was the only one she wanted around."

"Sawyer," Jack said again.

"Yeah Sawyer," Boone repeated and Jack left and made his way to the beach to check on Natalie

Natalie was waking up, she rolled over and saw Sawyer beside her.

"Morning," he said and Natalie looked at him.

"Morning," she replied. "I figured you would leave after I went to sleep."

"You were so upset and I fell asleep not long after you did," Sawyer told her and he stood up. Natalie got up as well.

"I should go," Sawyer said.

"Yeah ok," Natalie said.

"I'll see you later."

"Alright," Natalie said and he walked away. As he walked away from Natalie he ran into Jack.

"Sawyer," Jack said looking at him.

"Jack."

"What have you done to my sister?"

"Nothing," Sawyer answered. "Well nothing she didn't want," he added smiling.

"Nothing, I heard she had a nightmare last night and it was you that could get her calm, only you."

"So I helped out, is there something wrong with that?"

"What's going on with you and Natalie?" Jack yelled. Natalie heard Jack yell and she went over to see what was going on.

"Like I said nothing she doesn't want," Sawyer smirked.

"What did you do to her?" Jack yelled.

"I haven't done anything she didn't ask me to," Sawyer told him still smirking. Jack looked at him and drew back and hit him across the face. Sawyer glared at Jack.

"STOP!" Natalie yelled. "Jack what are you doing?"

"Natalie…"

"Jack why did you hit him, what has he done?" she asked.

"Natalie did he do something to you?" Jack asked concerned. "He won't tell me anything."

"No Jack, Sawyer hasn't hurt me or done anything I didn't ask him to," Natalie told him and Jack looked at her shocked that Sawyer told the truth and Sawyer smirked.

"Sawyer wipe that smirk off your face," Natalie said and turned around to look at him. He looked shocked that she seemed to know him so well she knew he would be smirking. "You just like the fact you know something Jack doesn't and you're being mean. Both of you need to stop, I can't do this anymore," Natalie said and she stormed off.

"Didn't do anything she didn't ask," Jack said in disbelief.

"That's what I said and what she said,' Sawyer said.

"I just want to know what is going on with my sister," Jack said. "She's my sister and I'm just worried that something's wrong. If something's wrong, if something happened to her, I need to know." Jack said.

"Then you'll have to talk to her," Sawyer said. "I made a promise to her."

"You could tell me if you wanted to," Jack said and Sawyer looked at him. Jack was worried about his sister and Sawyer could tell by the look on his face, but he made a promise to Natalie. Sawyer decided just this once he could be nice to Jack, for Natalie.

"Look, like I said I made a promise to Natalie. Whatever is going on with her, she is going to have to tell you when she's ready to tell you and when she is ready to talk about it she will tell you," Sawyer said.

"But she's ok?" Jack asked worried.

"As ok as she can be," Sawyer answered and walked away.

Natalie walked over to Sawyer's tent later on in the day.

"I brought you lunch," she said holding out some food. Sawyer took it. "Can I sit?" he nodded and Natalie sat down.

"I didn't tell him anything," Sawyer told her.

"I'm sorry Jack hit you, that's all my fault," Natalie said. "Are you ok?" she asked touching his face.

"I'm fine, I've had a lot worse than someone hitting me in the face." He told her moving her hand off his face.

"I'm sure you have," Natalie sighed.

"Who hurt you Natalie?" Sawyer asked. "Tell me."

"It doesn't matter now, its over," Natalie told. "Please just drop it."

Natalie was getting ready for bed that night when Sawyer walked over.

"I just wanted to say good night and make sure you're ok."

"I'm fine," she said.

"Ok then," Sawyer said and turned to walk away.

"Wait," Natalie said and he turned around.

"Yeah," he said.

"Never mind, good night," she said softly.

"Are you sure?" he asked. "Is there something you need?"

"Don't go," she whispered.

"What?" he asked stepping closer. "I couldn't hear you."

"Don't go," she whispered again.

"You want me to stay," he said shocked.

"You don't have to if you don't want to, its ok," she said and sat down on the ground.

"Shortcake," he sighed. "I didn't say I didn't want to," he added kneeling down by her. "I can stay, I'll be right back," he told her and she nodded. He got up and walked away.

A few minutes later he was back and he sat down by her on the ground.

"Well good night," she said. "And thanks." She added and laid down.

"Good night," Sawyer replied and he laid down as well. It didn't take long for Natalie fall asleep. Sawyer looked over at her wondering who this guy that hurt her was and what he was going to do to him when he found out who he was.

Natalie was tossing and turning in her sleep.

"No stop," she said 

_The sooner you cooperate, the sooner we both can get what we want."_

"_I don't want this!" she yelled._

"_Yes you do," he said and then started to rip her clothes off._

"_No," Natalie said._

Natalie was mumbling in her sleep. Sawyer heard her and woke up and looked over at her.

"Natalie," Sawyer said trying to wake her up.

"No," Natalie said.

"Wake up," he said touching her arm she swung her arms.

"Stop," she said swinging her arms managing to scratch Sawyer on the face.

"Damn it Natalie wake up," Sawyer said and Natalie sat up. She looked around, her eyes landed on Sawyer.

"Sawyer," she said relieved.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"I was dreaming about what he did to me again," she said.

"Well I'm sure you gave him a hell of a fight," Sawyer told her.

"Oh Sawyer,' she said seeing the scratch on his face that was bleeding. "I did that, I'm sorry."

"Its ok, you were upset, you didn't know it was me," he told her.

"I'm so sorry," she apologized again touching his face.

"Its ok, I'm fine," he told her covering her hand with his.

"Here let me clean that," she said grabbing a bottle of water and a cloth, she put some water on the cloth and cleaned the scratch on his face.

"Thanks," he said and she smiled.


	10. A Broken Promise

Thanks for the reviews, I decided to go ahead and update today since I wasn't doing anything. please review.

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted

.Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

A few days later Natalie noticed that Charlie was looking through Claire's things, he can't find her diary. Sawyer has it so he goes to Sawyer who won't give it up. So Charlie slugs Sawyer's bad arm and grabs the diary and storms off.

"Why Sawyer, you should have just given it to him, he's the only one on this island that deserves it."

"Ok maybe he deserves to have it but not to read it. Those are her personal thoughts that are only meant for her."

"Did you read it?" she asked

"No I hadn't got around to it yet," Sawyer said.

"I'm going to talk to Charlie," Natalie said and walked away.

She saw Charlie sitting off by himself and she walked over and sat next to him.

"Hey Charlie," she said. "How are you holding up?"

"He was just after her, Claire was all he wanted."

"No one blames you Charlie, its not your fault she's gone. You tried to protect her."

"Yeah but I didn't do good enough because she's gone now and we may never see her again."

"Charlie I'm going to tell you something," she said. "I know you must be thinking Claire's gone for good and you'll never see her again and I just want to tell you I know how you feel."

"What do you mean?' he asked.

"Justin, a guy I dated in high school, he's dead and its my fault."

"How is it your fault?" he asked.

"We went to a party together, we dated for a while in high school. I was a cheerleader and he played football, he was the quarterback," she said and he nodded. "Anyway we went to this party and they had alcohol, I got a little drunk."

"A little?"

"Ok a lot drunk way to drunk to drive." She said, "Anyway, out of the two of us Justin was the smart one that night, he didn't drink. I know shocking isn't it, the football player didn't drink. So finally we decided to go and Justin helped me out to his truck so he could drive me home, I guess we were going to get my car the next day," she said. "We were going around a sharp curve and he took it to fast and another car was coming, the car was in our lane. He swerved to miss it and we went off the road, there was a drop off, We hit a tree and Justin wasn't wearing a seatbelt. His truck flipped a few times, I was knocked out and when I came to we were upside down," She said her voice breaking. "Justin wasn't there when I woke up and I yelled for him and I didn't see him anywhere. People thought he might have crawled out of the truck and fell into the nearby river and drowned. They tried to find his body. We never found his body we all assumed he died," she said as tears ran down her cheeks. "All I had were cuts and bruises, a broken arm and broken leg" she said wiping a tear away. "Justin died trying to help me, I blame myself for it, I should never have gotten drunk, he might still be alive if I hadn't got drunk"

"It's not your fault he swerved to miss a car. Him dying is not your fault."

"Maybe not but you know what. Claire is not your fault either, she's still alive and we'll find her."

* * *

Natalie was still having nightmares about what happened to her. It had been a little over a week.

Sawyer was worried, Boone was worried and so was Jack.

"What is going on with Natalie, you know." Boone said.

"I might but I can't tell you anything, she'll have to tell you herself."

"You could tell me if you wanted to," Boone said.

"Yeah well maybe I don't want to," Sawyer told him as Natalie walked over.

"Natalie," Boone said. "What is going on with you."

"Nothing Boone, don't worry about me," she said.

"Natalie, I do. I know we're over but that doesn't mean I don't worry about you."

"I'm fine Boone, I'm fine," she told him. "Don't start worrying about me now."

* * *

Natalie was sitting with Sawyer at his tent.

"You're not fine," Sawyer said.

"Of course I am."

"No you're not," Sawyer said. "I want you to tell me what happened." Sawyer said and she looked at him, he was worried about her, she could tell by the way he looked at her. "Tell me," he said and she nodded.

"I was walking in the jungle," she began, "When a guy grabbed me and he started talking to me," she added taking a deep breath. "He kissed me and I told him to stop but he said he wasn't doing anything I didn't want. He was touching me and at some point I stomped on his foot or slapped him, I don't remember and he hit me and I fell to the ground," she went on, her eyes were filling with tears. "He was on top of me and I was asking him to stop and he wouldn't listen, he started ripping my clothes off and then," she said but stopped. "I asked him to stop and he didn't," Natalie finished as tears slid down her cheeks. "He wouldn't listen."

"Natalie," Sawyer whispered and she looked at him. Natalie leaned against him and he put his arm around her.

"Who Natalie?" he asked. "Who did this?" he asked and she looked up at him.

"I can't," she answered.

"Yes you can, tell me," Sawyer told her, "tell me."

"I can't." she said.

"Just tell me." He said. "Is he the one that left the bruise on your arm to?"

"Yes," she answered.

'Tell me who?"

"Scott," she whispered

"Scott, which one is he," he asked.

"It doesn't matter Sawyer, just let it go ok," she said.

"No, I can't let it go," he told her.

"Please Sawyer, don't do anything." She said. "If he finds out I told you…"

"Did he threaten you?" Sawyer asked angrily.

"Sawyer please just let it go," Natalie pleaded.

"For now, I can't promise you when I find out who Scott is that I won't though."

* * *

Three days later Sawyer walked over to where Natalie was sitting in front of the ocean, by herself.

"You want to go for a walk with me?" Sawyer asked and she looked up at him.

"Ok," she agreed and he held out his hand and she placed her hand in his and he helped her stand up and they started to walk.

"Is there something you wanted?" Natalie asked.

"To know which one Scott is,' Sawyer said.

"What are you going to do Sawyer?"

"Teach him a lesson, let him know he can't do this to you and get away with it."

"This is exactly why I didn't want Jack to know, because he would act the same way," Natalie sighed.

"He's your brother, it's the way he should feel," Sawyer told her. "I wouldn't blame him at all if he beat the shit out of Scott, If I had a sister and this happened to her its exactly what I would do, beat him or kill him," Sawyer added. "I can find out who he is even if you don't tell me."

"I know you can but you haven't yet,' Natalie pointed out. As they were walking a guy walked towards them, it was Scott. Natalie unconsciously took a step closer to Sawyer. He noticed this but didn't think anything of it. As Scott got closer to them Natalie grabbed Sawyer's hand and held it tight. Sawyer looked over at her but said nothing. Scott finally got close enough to them and he stopped.

"I don't know what you see in him," Scott said rudely. Natalie said nothing.

"We should go," Natalie whispered to Sawyer. Sawyer looked at Natalie who seemed to be scared from the way she moved closer to him, how tight she was holding his hand and the look in her eyes.

"Scott," Sawyer said.

"What," he said.

"Lets go Sawyer, forget it ok," Natalie said but Sawyer didn't move. "Sawyer please forget it ok." He looked at her and nodded and they walked on.

"You haven't done anything with her at all have you?" Scott asked.

"Ignore him, please," Natalie said and Sawyer tried to do what she wanted. He was really trying.

"To bad because you're really missing out, trust me I know," Scott said and it was this comment that made Sawyer let go of Natalie's hand storm to Scott and punch him in the face.

"Sawyer No!" Natalie yelled , but he wasn't listening. After he punched him in the face Sawyer hit him in the stomach and again in the face. Scott was barely getting a punch in.

"SAWYER!" Natalie yelled. "SAWYER STOP!" she yelled.

People heard her screaming and started to look over. Sawyer was still hitting Scott. Scott's nose was bleeding by now and he looked like he was hurting from all of Sawyer's punches.

"Sawyer. SAWYER! STOP!" Natalie said and fell to the ground crying. People started to run over to see what was going on. Michael, Sayid and Jack tried to break up the fight. Well get Scott away from Sawyer before Sawyer beat him to death.

Michael went to grab Scott and it took Sayid and Jack to restrain Sawyer and he was still fighting them.

"Let me Go!" Sawyer raged.

"What the hell do you think you are doing?" Jack asked. "You can't just beat up someone who hasn't done anything, who doesn't deserve it."

"Oh he deserves it," Sawyer fumed. "Now let me go, so I can finish."

"Sawyer." Jack said.

"You're crazy," Scott said.

"Oh I'm the crazy one," Sawyer said. "You have some nerve, I'm not the one who forced myself on someone. She told you no but you didn't listen." Sawyer said angrily. "Natalie told you no but you went ahead, you went ahead and did what you wanted to anyway didn't you, you went ahead raped her, even though she told you no." Sawyer said angrily. Kate and Claire covered their mouths with their hands in shock.

"Raped," Sayid said in shock and his grip loosened and Sawyer tried to break free but Sayid tightened it again.

Natalie was crying again she had her hands over her face. Jack let go of Sawyer and walked over to Scott.

"You raped my sister," he said to Scott.

"Oh please, she wanted it," Scott spat.

"Of course she did," Jack said and he punched him in the face.

"Stop it!" Natalie yelled. "Both of you just stop!" Natalie said and Jack and Sawyer looked at her.

"Natalie," Jack said. But she looked at Sawyer.

"You promised," Natalie whispered.

"Shortcake," Sawyer said softly. "Let me go," he told Sayid. "Let me go, I'm not going to hit him again, not yet anyway," he said and Sayid let him go. He walked over and knelt down in front of Natalie.

"Hey," he whispered.

"You promised," Natalie said.

"I… Natalie I lost my temper ok, when he said what he did. He had no right to do anything at all to you or even touch you," he whispered. He was talking so low no one could hear him but Natalie. "Look Natalie I'm not sorry for what I did, he deserves it for what he put you through, what he did."

"Get me out of here," she said softly and he nodded and helped her stand up.

"Natalie," Jack said and he walked over to her. "I want to check you over and make sure you're ok."

"Jack I really don't think I'd be comfortable with that."

"I may be your brother but I'm a doctor also ok," he said. "Sawyer will bring you by later," he added looking at Sawyer.

"Whatever Jack," Natalie said and she turned to leave with Sawyer.

"I can't believe you're leaving with him, You're the one missing out baby, we could be great together," Scott said.

"No Sawyer," Natalie said and she walked over to him and looked him in the eye.

"You have no clue what you put me through and you don't care," Natalie said. "I told you No and asked you to stop over and over again but you didn't listen, you did what you wanted to anyway," she said.

"How could you act like you didn't want it," he said and Natalie slapped him across the face and Scott grabbed her arm before she could drop it. Sawyer walked over and grabbed him by the shirt and he let go of Natalie.

"Don't touch her again!" he said and there was a calmness in his voice that was terrifying. "And if you touch her again or look at her again or hurt her in anyway you will be very sorry, I'll make sure of it," he added still keeping the calmness in his voice, he released Scott.

"You need to find somewhere else to stay, you're not welcome here anymore," Jack told Scott. "And if you try to hurt my sister again, we're not going to pull him off you and when he's done it'll be my turn," Jack told Scott.

"We're leaving," Sawyer said and walked over to Natalie.

"Let's go Natalie, you don't have to stand here and listen to him," Sawyer said and she nodded and he led her away leaving everyone shocked.

* * *

Sawyer and Natalie sat down in his tent.

"Are you ok?"

"I don't know," Natalie answered.

"I didn't mean to break my promise," Sawyer said.

"I know you didn't," Natalie said. "Its ok really."

"You know I never did get to apologize.' Sawyer said.

"You apologize," she said shocked.

"Yeah."

"For what."

"When you ran off the day he raped you, I was trying to find you to apologize."

"Oh."

"You were mad and you ran off, if I hadn't upset you…"

"No, its not your fault, Scott's crazy and what he did to me is not your fault."

"I know that," he said. "I should have never said what I said to you and I'm sorry. You're the best friend I have on this island and the last person I want to hate me."

"I don't hate you," Natalie told him. "After everything you've done Sawyer, I never hated you before either."

"Come on, stand up," Sawyer said and helped her up.

"Thanks for being around when I needed you" Natalie said. "But where are we going?"

"To see Jack," Sawyer said.

"Oh no." she said.

"I'm taking you," he said.

"You hate Jack."

"But I want to make sure you're ok, So I can put up with Jack for a little while." he said. "So let's go."

Sawyer led her to the caves.

"Natalie," Jack said, "Come on in." he added. "Sit down." He said and she did. Sawyer turned to leave.

"Don't leave," Natalie said and Sawyer looked at her and then to Jack.

"I really don't think I should be here for this." He said.

"Please Sawyer," she said and Jack nodded.

"Ok," he said and sat down.

"Ok. I need to ask you some questions."

"Alright Jack."

"You feel ok?" he asked. "You haven't been feeling differently since what happened have you?"

"No, I'm ok and everything is still running on schedule," she told Jack.

"Alright," Jack said and after asking some more questions he examined her the best he could with what he had to work with while Sawyer waited outside.

"Ok Natalie, I want you to come to me if anything changes, even something that may seem minor ok."

"Ok Jack," she said.

"I love you," he said and he hugged her.

"I love you to Jack," she said and returned his hug.

When she walked outside the cave Sawyer looked at her.

"Well?"

"I'm fine, everything is ok."

"Good," Sawyer said relieved.


	11. You Always Save Me

Enjoythis chapter, Thanks to my reviewer.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think.

* * *

The next day Natalie walked over to Sawyer's tent. 

"Hi," she said.

"Hello," he replied. "You ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine," she told him. "I just um…wanted to come by and say thanks for everything you've done over the past few days. I don't know what I would have done if you hadn't been there, how long I would have been laying on the ground," she told him.

"Come over and sit down," Sawyer said and Natalie walked over and sat down by him.

"Scott only ran off because he heard you coming, if you hadn't been doing whatever you were doing he would have never ran off that soon," she said wiping a tear that ran down her cheek.

"I was looking for you," he told her.

"You were looking for me?" she asked.

"Yeah, I felt bad about what I had said that caused you to run off." He admitted.

"Its ok," Natalie said softly and they were quiet.

* * *

Natalie was walking along the beach when Jack walked over to her. He had seen her talking to Sawyer, Sawyer was the one she ran to now instead of him and that really bothered him. She used to talk to him all the time. 

"Natalie," Jack said and she turned around.

"Hey," she said.

"Don't you think Sawyer is getting tired of you hanging around him all the time?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," she said softly. "He hasn't mentioned it."

"Sawyer's not the kind of guy who wants some girl hanging around him all the time, I'm sure he wants his space," Jack told her.

"You think so, I never meant to do something he didn't want," she said quietly.

"I know you didn't Natalie," Jack said.

"I just… I like having him around, I want him around, I need him," she said.

"No you don't Natalie, he was there for you when you needed help and now you've come to depend on him, you'll be ok without him." Jack said and walked away.

* * *

"Sawyer," Jack said walking over to him. 

"Yep," he replied.

"Natalie's ok now, she doesn't need you," Jack told him.

"She say that?" he asked standing up.

"What if she did?" he asked.

"Then I'd back off," he told her.

"Well back off," Jack told him.

"She actually said she didn't need me anymore?" he asked surprised.

"Of course, she doesn't want you around anymore, she appreciates your help but back off," Jack told him and walked away.

* * *

Natalie walked back over to Sawyer a few minutes later. 

"Sawyer," she said.

"What?" he replied coldly.

"Are you ok?" she asked. "You sound different."

"I'm fine," he replied.

"You don't sound fine," she said walking closer to him. He said nothing. "Sawyer," she said touching his shoulder. He shrugged her off. "Sawyer."

"Leave me alone," he demanded.

"Sawyer," Natalie said. "What's wrong with you?" she asked.

"Why do you care you don't need or want me around anyway," he snapped.

"Sawyer I never…" she began.

"Just go and leave me alone," he yelled and Natalie ran off.

* * *

A few hours later Jack was looking for Natalie, he hadn't seen her anywhere. He had talked to everyone, well everyone except Sawyer. He walked over. 

"Have you seen Natalie?" he asked.

"Not since earlier today," he answered.

"Was she upset?"

"A little," Sawyer told him. "We kind of argued a little, she ran off."

"What did you argue about?"

"Well the fact she doesn't need me or want me around anymore," he told him.

"This is all my fault," Jack said. "I have to find her," he said.

"I'll go with you," Sawyer said and Jack started to say something. "Not up for negotiation," he said before Jack could argue. "It will be dark soon, Scott is out there somewhere and she's all alone with no water and food."

"Fine come on, we'll leave in ten minutes" Jack told him.

"Did you find Natalie?" Boone asked Jack.

"No Sawyer and I are going to look for her," Jack told him.

"I want to come to," he said.

"Boone," Jack said as Sawyer walked over.

"You coming to?" Sawyer asked Boone.

"Fine come on," Jack said and they headed off.

* * *

Natalie was walking by herself in the jungle wondering what made Sawyer act the way he did. Why he just turned on her all of a sudden. She heard a sound behind her and turned around. 

"Hello," she said but no one said anything so she turned around and continued to walk.

"Why did Natalie run off?" Boone asked.

"I don't know," Jack said.

"What did you do?" Boone asked Sawyer.

"Oh, its automatically my fault," Sawyer said.

"Most likely," Boone replied. "You're the only one she really talks to now."

"I was the one who found her, who took care of her. Its not my fault if she doesn't need me or want me around anymore," Sawyer snapped.

"No its my fault," Jack said and they stopped walking.

"Your fault?" Boone asked shocked.

"Yes I gave Natalie the idea that Sawyer might be tired of her hanging around all the time," Jack admitted.

"What?" Boone and Sawyer asked.

"She's always running to you, I'm her brother," Jack said. "So I gave her the idea that maybe you were getting tired of her always hanging around you." Jack said regret in his voice.

"And then you came to me to tell me she said she didn't want me or need me around anymore," Sawyer said mad.

"Yes I did, she said she liked having you around, that she wanted you around that she needed you," Jack said. "I'm her brother, she should be talking to me not you."

"I can't believe you did that!" Sawyer yelled. "What if something happened to her or if Scott found her?"

"I didn't think she would run off,' Jack exclaimed.

"Both of you stop!" Boone yelled. "We have to find her, you can fight later, Natalie is what's important now."

"Said the guy who broke her heart and is in love with another woman," Sawyer said meanly.

"Look we need to find her, Natalie is what matters right now, not our problems with each other," Boone said.

"He's right," Jack agreed.

* * *

Natalie kept walking wondering why Sawyer would just tell her to leave him alone, what did she do? Maybe Jack was right. She heard someone following her and she stopped and turned around and saw nothing, no one was there so she turned back around. 

"Hello there," someone said.

"AHHHHHHHHHHH," Natalie screamed.

"That's Natalie," Jack said. "Lets go,' he demanded and they took off running.

* * *

"All alone at last," Scott said and Natalie tried to run off. 

"You're not going anywhere," he said grabbing her.

"Please let me go," Natalie pleaded.

"You can come with me, we can start a life together. I can make you happier than those other guys ever could."

"No, just let me go please," Natalie said crying.

"Never," Scott said. "You're coming with me."

"NO!" Natalie yelled and she kicked him.

"Ouch," Scott said. "Stupid Bitch," he said and slapped her and then pulled out a knife.

"Now lets go,"

"No, I'd rather be dead than go anywhere with you," she told him.

"You may get your wish," Scott grinned and dug the knife in her hip and ran it down her leg about two inches..

"AHHHHHHHHHHH!" Natalie cried out.

"That's Natalie again and that sounded worse than the last scream like she was hurt," Sawyer said worried and he ran ahead of Jack and Boone hoping to find her.

Natalie felt blood running down her legs.

"Now stop arguing with me and lets go," Scott said and he went to pick her up just as Sawyer ran over.

"Let go of her," he demanded and Scott turned around.

"Are you people everywhere?" he asked.

"I think you should leave," Sawyer said calmly.

"No, not without Natalie," Scott said. Natalie was crying, her leg really hurt. Sawyer looked at him.

"You think I'm just going to let you take her," Sawyer said angrily.

"Yeah because I'll just come back for her again, until I get her."

"Or I kill you," Sawyer replied. "You're crazy."

"Maybe," Scott said smiling and Sawyer drew back and his fist connected with Scott's face and he fell to the ground.

"Leave Natalie alone," he demanded. "Take no for an answer for once," he told him angrily and kicked him in the side. He then bent down. "Don't bother her anymore," Sawyer demanded and Scott stood up and looked at Sawyer. Sawyer stood up as well.

"This isn't over," he said and ran off. Sawyer went to go after him, but Natalie fell to the ground and he stopped.

"Natalie," he said and knelt down beside her. "Jack and Boone should be along any minute," he told her. "I need to see if I can stop you from bleeding," he told her and she nodded. Sawyer gently slipped her pants off.

"Ouch," she said softly.

"Sorry," he said and he looked at her leg.

"Damn Shortcake," he said and he reached in his bag and pulled out a clean cloth and held it against her leg with one hand. Natalie took his other hand in hers. "Jack should be here soon, then he can take care of you."

"Sawyer," she said softly as Jack and Boone ran over. 

"Natalie!" Jack exclaimed and he ran over to her. He looked as Sawyer who was holding a cloth to Natalie's leg. His hand was covered with her blood.

"It looks bad," Sawyer said moving out of the way, Natalie tightened her grip on his hand

"Don't leave," she whispered and he let go of her hand and moved out of Jack's way.

"How's it look?" Boone asked.

"I have to get it to stop bleeding so I can clean it and see to know for sure." Jack said "But I think I'm going to have to sew it up," he told her as he tried to clean the blood off.

"No," Natalie said.

"It'll be ok Natalie," Jack assured her.

"Sawyer," Natalie said as Jack cleaned off her leg.

"I'm right here," he said as Jack rummaged through his bag, he found a needle and thread.

"Natalie, it needs to he sewn up ok," Jack told her.

"Ok," she said and she grabbed Sawyer's hand.

"Just don't look at me, it will only make it worse if you watch," he told her and she looked at Sawyer.

"Ok I'm starting now," Jack told her and she tightened her grip on Sawyer's hand.

Jack sewed Natalie's leg up as she held Sawyer's hand. Boone had nothing to do but hope Natalie would be ok. 

"I'm all done," Jack told her cutting the thread with a knife.

"It wasn't to bad," Natalie sighed.

"I wish I had thought to bring you something else to wear."

"I have a shirt in my bag, It should be long on her, cover everything up at least," Sawyer said and he went to get the shirt.

"You're going to be ok," Jack told her. "Don't run off like that again. You had me scared, I thought… anything could have happened."

"I know Jack, I'm sorry," Natalie told him as Sawyer walked over and handed her the shirt.

"Thanks," Natalie said taking the shirt.

"Go get that shirt on, then we'll head back," Jack told her.

"Doc, its getting late, it will be dark soon. Don't you think its kind of dangerous to walk back through the jungle at night?" Sawyer asked. "Plus shouldn't she rest her leg for a while?" he asked. "Of course I don't mind carrying her back," he added.

"I'm capable of walking all by myself," Natalie said standing up and taking two steps forward. "Ouch," she exclaimed and they all looked at her. "I'm fine," she told them but didn't walk any further. She just slipped the old shirt off and put the one Sawyer gave her on and then sat back down.

"We'll just camp here and head back in the morning," Jack said.

Boone walked over and sat by Natalie.

"Thanks for coming to look for me," she said.

"As long as you're ok that's all that matters now."

"I'm fine," she replied. "I'll be fine."

* * *

The four of them soon fell asleep. Natalie wasn't sleeping well at all and she woke up some time during the night and saw Sawyer sitting off by himself. She slowly got up and painfully limped over to Sawyer. 

"Sawyer," she said softly and he looked up.

"You should be resting, you need to be off your leg," he told her and Natalie held onto a tree and slowly sat down by him.

"I haven't slept much tonight anyway, at least at the beach I have a pillow."

"I can't sleep either," he admitted.

"I never said that I didn't want or need you around," she told him.

"I know that now, I'm sorry I snapped at you," he told her.

"Its ok," she told him

"You actually like having me around?" he asked surprised.

"Yeah," she said.

"You're the only one," he replied.

"Sawyer there are people on this island who might actually like you if you gave them a chance," she told him.

"I doubt it," he sighed.

"I don't," she said.

"Lets face it Shortcake, you're the only one who likes the fact that I'm on this island," he told her.

"I hated it the first time you called me that," she admitted.

"Shortcake?" he asked.

"Yeah but now I kind of like it. Its something only you would think to call me," she told him and he smiled. "I like having a name only you call me."

"I was worried about you when Jack couldn't find you."

"You were?"

"Yeah," he said nodding. "Anyway it was what I said that caused you to run off. Just like the day you ran off and Scott raped you."

"But you always save me," Natalie said. "What Scott did isn't your fault. He's crazy," she said. "He actually said he wanted us to start a life together, if you hadn't showed up when you did today."

"But we did and you're fine," Sawyer said. "Scott's obsessed with you."

"I don't know why," she said.

"Because you're hot," Sawyer told her and she laughed.

"You think I'm hot?" she asked.

"Maybe," he answered. "You think I'm hot?"

"Maybe," she answered and Natalie saw a real smile appear on his face.

"You need to try and rest," Sawyer said and stood up, "Come on," he said and he held his hand down to her and she grabbed it and he pulled her up and they walked back over to where Jack and Boone were. Natalie laid down and tried to get comfortable. She looked over at Sawyer. She moved closer to him and laid her head on his stomach.

"What are you doing?" he asked.

"Using you as a pillow," she told him.

"You think I'm just going to let you do that?" he asked.

"Please," she said.

"Fine," he said running his fingers through her hair. "just go to sleep."


	12. I Still love him

Thanks for the review. Oh and if you are reading this, I put up a new story called Stand Still, Look Pretty. Go and check it out if want.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

The next morning when Jack woke up he saw Natalie asleep with her head on Sawyer's stomach and that bothered him a little.

"Wake up," Jack said a little more loudly than normal and Natalie sat up.

"You didn't have to be so loud," Natalie said. "Wake up Sawyer," she said nudging him and he opened his eyes. "Its time to head back," she told him as she tried to stand up. Sawyer stood up. He looked down at Natalie.

"You ok?" he asked.

"Oh I'm just fine, it takes me twenty minutes to stand up, but don't worry about me I'll be up in a minute," she complained.

"Come on," he said holding his hand out.

"I don't need help," she said, Sawyer still had his hand out.

"I won't pull you up, just hold on to me and pull yourself up," he said and she looked up at him and finally placed her hand in his and pulled herself up.

"Thanks," she said and she limped off.

"Natalie, you ok this morning?" Jack asked.

"I'm fine, my leg hurts," she admitted.

"It'll be sore for a while," he told her. "We're fixing to head back. You up for it."

"Of course," she replied and limped off.

* * *

A few minutes later they were walking back to the beach. Natalie was much slower than normal and the guys were ahead of her. Not only was she shorter than all of them, plus now her leg was hurt, so she couldn't keep up and her leg was hurting right now.

"Where's Natalie?" Boone asked and Sawyer looked back.

"Hold on, I'll get her," he said and he jogged back to her. "Shortcake, you ok?" he asked concerned.

"My leg hurts," she told him "and I can't keep up with you guys," she said in tears.

"Its ok, we can go slower if you need us to," he told her. "You want a piggy back ride?"

"Are you serious?" she asked not believing him.

"Yes I am," he said and he bent down. "Hop on," he added and she stood up and she got on his back and slipped her arms around his neck. "You ok?' he asked.

"Lets go," she said and Sawyer walked back over to Jack and Boone. They were both to shocked at what they saw to say anything.

"Lets go," Jack said and they made their way back to the beach.

"Thanks," Natalie said when they got back to the beach and she climbed off of Sawyer's back.

"You go get some rest, I'll see you later," Sawyer said.

"Ok," she said.

* * *

It was a few days later and Natalie was talking to Boone again. Him and Locke had brought back Claire last night, they had found her in the jungle, but she doesn't remember anything.

"So what were you doing when you and Locke found Claire?" she asked "And don't say Boar hunting because I am not dumb enough to believe you."

"Natalie don't worry about what we were doing, just be glad we found Claire"

"What are you two hiding from everyone?" she asked

"I think its better for you to not know" he said. "How are you doing?" Boone asked.

"I'm ok Boone." She said. "I want to know what you're up to."

"You shouldn't know," he said and walked away.

* * *

When Natalie went to the caves to get water she saw Sayid, Jack, Charlie and Locke discussing something.

"What happened?" she asked

"Natalie," Jack started and then sighed. "Ethan attacked Charlie and said if we didn't bring Claire back to him he would kill someone everyday until we did."

"We can't give her back. What are you going to do?" Natalie asked.

"That's what we have to figure out" Jack told her.

They decided to put up an alarm system and have a different person watch each night. Boone is on duty tonight when he falls asleep. He wakes up and its morning. Boone wakes up hoping something hasn't happened on his watch and he hears a scream, someone is dead.

Everyone gathers as they bury him. Sawyer and Natalie are standing by each other.

"It's a shame about Steve," Sawyer said almost as if he's sorry it happened.

"Dude that was Scott," Hurley corrected him.

"Scott well in that case I don't feel so bad," Sawyer said. "What was he doing here anyway?"

"I don't know," Hurley told him. "He wasn't suppossed to come back."

"Like I said I don't feel so bad now that I know its Scott."

"Sawyer" Natalie said and turned and walked away. He went after her.

"Natalie," he said "Wait," he called out.

"How could you say that?"

"Are you forgetting what he did to you?" he asked. "Forgetting he raped you, cut you with a knife and would have dragged you away forever or maybe even killed you."

"No I'm not Sawyer. I don't think I'll ever forget about that."

"He's dead now and he can't come back and try to hurt you again."

"I'm a horrible person because I'm kind of glad he's dead and I shouldn't be," Natalie said wiping a tear that ran down her cheek.

"Natalie, No one would blame you for feeling that way, I'm glad he's gone to," Sawyer admitted. "Now he can never hurt you again," Sawyer added.

"I want to forget about all this and put it behind me and move on."

"I want that to, I don't know how long I would have kept hitting him if someone hadn't pulled me off of him."

"It took Jack and Sayid to pull you off," Natalie told him. You were so angry and then I saw the look on your face when he grabbed my arm."

"He had no right to touch you, of course it made me angry."

"Sawyer," she said. "I know how furious you were I heard it in your voice. You had a calmness in your voice as you spoke to Scott," she told him. "The calmness in your voice as you spoke to him, it was terrifying, scary"

"Natalie," he said and touched her shoulder. "You never have to be afraid of me," he said and he walked around her and stood in front of her. "I don't want you to be afraid of me."

"I'm not," she told him.

* * *

Sawyer and Natalie make their way back to the beach and they settle by his tent. Jack sees them and walks over.

"Natalie," Jack said.

"Hey Jack," Natalie said. "What's going on?"

"We need his help," Jack said.

"Your asking for my help" Sawyer said shocked

"Yes we're going to hunt for Ethan. Here." he said throwing him a gun. "Be ready in about twenty minutes," Jack said and left. Sawyer gets up and starts to prepare.

"Be careful," Natalie said.

"Don't worry about me I'll be ok," Sawyer said.

"Don't take any unnecessary risks and keep your temper in check with Jack and Sayid," she said. "I mean it."

"Yes ma'am," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer."

"I'll be careful."

"I'll wait here for you to get back," she said and Sawyer nodded and walked away.

When Sawyer returns later that night, Natalie was still waiting on him.

"So, what happened?" she asked.

"Ethan's dead," Sawyer said. "Charlie shot him."

"Charlie shot him," she repeated as if she didn't believe him.

"We were all surprised by that," Sawyer admitted.

"Everyone else is ok though?" she asked.

"Everyone but Ethan," Sawyer said.

"Alright I'm glad. I'm going to talk to Jack, I'll see you later" Natalie said and walked away.

* * *

When Natalie walked into the cave she saw Jack, standing alone.

"Jack," she said and walked over to him.

"Natalie," he said. "You feeling ok?"

"Never better."

"Good," he said. "You can talk to me if you ever need to."

"I know Jack," she smiled.

"You used to talk to me all the time, back when you thought I was cool and a great big brother."

"I still think you're cool Jack," Natalie told him. "And you're the best big brother any girl could hope to have."

"I love you Natalie."

"I love you to Jack," Natalie said smiling.

"So are you falling in love with Sawyer, you're always with him and you've come to depend on him so much."

"I don't know if I'm falling in love" she told him "But I like Sawyer and I know your never going to and I'm ok with it, I just need you to accept that I like him and I'm going to be around him every now and then."

"I'll try" Jack said. "Especially after what he's done for you."

* * *

As Natalie is walking back to the beach she sees Boone and he looks upset.

"Boone," Natalie said and he stopped and looked at her. "Are you ok?"

"Yeah," he said.

"No your not, what's wrong?" she asked. "Shannon?"

"She's with Sayid, its like she's playing a game with me."

"Boone I'm sorry she's hurting you, but you should have known before you decided to be with her," she told him.

"Ok go ahead and tell me what a mistake I made when I picked Shannon over you, I already know that." He said taking her hands in his.

"I never said it was a mistake," Natalie told him. "You can't help who you fall in love with and I'm sorry you have to love a girl that breaks your heart over and over again," Natalie said sincerely.

"And I'm sorry that you loved me and I did nothing but hurt you and break your heart," Boone told her.

"The first year was good, its just everything after that that went bad."

"Yeah I guess so," Boone agreed. "So you and Sawyer?"

"We're nothing, I happen to like talking to him, he's interesting" she admitted. "He's done so much for me."

"You really like him," Boone said

"Yes I do," Natalie told him.

"I hope everything works out for you," Boone said and Natalie smiled. Boone stepped forward and hugged her. Natalie was surprised but returned the hug.

"I'll see you later," she said and walked away.

* * *

"So having a nice chat with your pretty boy ex-boyfriend?" Sawyer asked and there was something about the tone of his voice that was different.

"We were just talking Sawyer, there's nothing wrong with that," Natalie said confused as to why he seemed so upset.

"But you just let him touch you and hold hands with you and hug you," he said. "Would you have let him make-out with you if he tried?" he asked and Natalie realized from the tone in his voice, he was jealous.

"Never Sawyer," she said. "You don't have to be jealous," she said smiling.

"Sweetheart I ain't jealous, I have no reason to be."

"Then what's with all the questions about Boone?"

"Nothing," Sawyer said.

"Just jealous huh?" Natalie asked smiling and Sawyer turned and walked away. Natalie shook her head and went after him.

"Sawyer," she called out. "Sawyer," she called again. "Please wait for me," and he stopped.

"What?" he asked and Natalie was shocked by the coolness in his tone.

"I was just kidding Sawyer, I know your not jealous of Boone," she said. "You and I are just friends."

"Yeah we are and as your friend I don't want to see you hurt by him again."

"I'm not, I know to keep my distance and it's hard sometimes, but it's not worth being heartbroken again and I'm not ready for a relationship yet anyway."

"Its Good that you're keeping your distance." Sawyer said.

"Well I'm going to bed, I'll see you later."

* * *

The next day Natalie noticed Sawyer is cleaning up his things and Sayid is watching him amused by the situation. She walked over to him.

"What happened?" Natalie asked.

"Boar, destroyed my stuff," Sawyer said angrily. Natalie was trying not to laugh, she knew it would only make him madder.

"Its ok Sawyer, its just a boar, let it go," she asked fighting back a smile. "Or is there something else going on."

"No I'm fine," Sawyer snapped. "I have to go find my tarp."

"Fine I'll get out of your way then."

Natalie was sitting by the water when Sawyer returned. He is muddy and clearly upset, she is about to go over when she sees Kate approach him. She gets upset as she sees them talking and then head off into the jungle together.

"You actually like him," Someone said sitting next to her.

"Boone, yeah I like Sawyer but…"

"You don't want to be his friend, you want more," Boone said.

"That's none of your business," she tells him.

"Well you don't have to answer it, I know its true"

"Anyway I'm not ready for more, not yet anyway and I have no clue when I will be."

"I understand that but you still are starting to like him as more than just a friend."

"Don't be so sure, my feelings don't matter because of the one's he has for Kate," she said.

"Kate's never going to be with Sawyer, she won't let herself." Boone said.

"But Sawyer still has feelings for her," she said. "So you and Shannon?"

"We're over already," Boone whispered.

"I'm sorry," Natalie said as she squeezed his hand in a reassuring way.

"I should have known better, I don't know why l believed her or why I even gave into my feelings for her. I was stupid."

"It's not stupid to be in love. The fact that you're capable of love at all says a lot about you."

"The fact that you love me and I hurt you in more ways than one and your still able to talk to me and not hate me says a lot about you."

"I could never hate you," Natalie told him as she tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

"I'm glad you don't hate me," he said smiling at her.

"Boone there is someone for you who will make you forget you were ever in love with Shannon and I'm sorry it's not me."

"Yeah me to," he said "I didn't come over here to talk about Shannon or Sawyer, I want to tell you something," he said suddenly.

"What is it?" she asked interested.

"Its about what Locke and I have really been doing," he said and she looked at him as if to say go on. "We found something in the ground and we've been digging it up. It's a door, a hatch of some sort and we don't know what's in it," Boone said. "We're trying to figure out a way to open it." he told her, "That's what we've been doing."

"You have no idea what's in it Boone, you shouldn't open it. I have a bad feeling about this. You should leave it alone," She stressed. "Please be careful," she begged.

"I promise I'll be careful, you be careful as well, I'd hate to see you get hurt again."

"Ok and I'm really glad you told me about what you've really been up to. That you trust me to know that,"

"I thought someone should know, just in case something happens."

"Don't talk like that, you'll be ok and everything will be fine," she assured him.

"I hope so" he sighed and she turned her head to look at him, a piece of hair fell into her face. Boone reached up and tucked it behind her ear. Then he ran his thumb across her cheek and over her lips.

"Your beautiful," he whispered and leaned towards her, Natalie leaned in as well, as if she couldn't stop herself and their lips met in a kiss. Natalie wrapped her arms around his neck and he slipped his hands down her body to rest on her waist and he pulled her closer to him. He deepened the kiss, kissing her harder and he pushed his tongue in her mouth. His slipped his hand under her shirt and when she felt his hand touch her bare stomach she pulled away.

"I can't Boone," Natalie said pushing him away.

"Natalie I'm sorry," he apologized.

"We can't, it won't work and we know it," Natalie said.

"It could, the feelings are still there," Boone pointed it out.

"They are there because I'm never going to stop loving you, you'll always have a little piece of my heart because you were the first guy I ever loved, but we can never be together again. I'm sorry Boone," she said and stood up and ran off.

* * *

She ran away and when she finally stopped running she found herself where Sawyer's stuff was. She was angry with herself for letting Boone kiss her and for kissing him back. She kicked a nearby tree and finally dropped to the ground sobbing. When Sawyer came back this was how he found her.

"I'm glad you're here Shortcake" he said and she quickly wiped her face and turned around.

"Are you?" she asked. "What's going on with you anyway?"

"Are you ok?" he asked. "You've been crying."

"I'm so stupid," she told him and he sat next to her.

"No you're not. Tell me what happened."

"I talked to Boone today when you left with Kate," she began. "He told me that him and Shannon are over, then one thing led to another, I told him I didn't hate him. We talked some more. He told me I was beautiful and we kissed."

"Is that all that happened?"

"Yes and I hate myself for loving him. I feel like I'll never stop and I know Boone and I will never work out but he's always going to have a piece of my heart and I wish he didn't," she said putting her hands over her face. Sawyer moved her hands.

"Everything will be ok, with time you'll get over Boone, you may not stop loving him but you'll get over him"

"I hope so," she said wiping her eyes.

After she calmed down Sawyer sat against a tree and Natalie moved to sit by him.

"So tell me, what have you been up to today?"

"Well this Boar was after me it was like he had a score to settle with me or something."

"The Boar was after you?" she asked skeptically.

"It only bothered my stuff," Sawyer said defensive. "Anyway, do you believe that something you've done wrong can come back to haunt you?"

"Maybe, I might could understand this if you explained it to me."

"Ok the reason I was in Australia was that I was looking for a man named Sawyer."

"But your name…" Natalie stopped and then it hit her. "Your real name isn't Sawyer."

"No, Sawyer is the man responsible for my parents death," he said.

"The one that had the affair with your mother."

"That would be him," Sawyer said. "So this guy Hibbs finds me, said he's come to make right on a deal he screwed me on a few years earlier. He has information on where the guy I've been hunting is."

"And you trusted his information? Information from a guy that already screwed you over once."

"Yes I did I wanted so badly to find this Sawyer. He was working on a Shrimp truck in Sydney, so I got on a plane to Sydney, so I could kill him."

"And did you kill him?" Natalie asked knowing the answer.

"Yes I did and after I did it, I realized I had been setup. Hibbs wanted this guy dead because he owed him money, he wasn't the one that ruined my life and I killed him," Sawyer said with regret. "Before he died this guy looked at me and said 'It will come back around.'"

"Sawyer," Natalie said laying a hand on his shoulder in a reassuring way. "We all pay for our mistakes, we've all done things we're not proud of, that's what makes us human."

"Yeah, but I bet there aren't many people on this island who have killed a man."

"Maybe not."

"Except one," Sawyer said.

"Oh let me guess, Kate," she said clearly not liking the idea of having something in common with Kate.

"Yes."

"Well there you go Sawyer, something to build on," Natalie snapped.

"Are you jealous?" Sawyer asked with a smirk.

"No, I will never be jealous of Kate," she said sharply.

"Then calm down," Sawyer said smirking.

"Don't give me that smirk, I hate it when you do that."

"Why because it makes me look so sexy?" he asked and raised his eyebrows at her.

"You have no confidence problems at all do you?"

"Nope, none at all," he told her smiling his trademark smile and giving her a little wink. She shook her head and smiled.

"So what's your real name?" she asked and he looked at her.

"It doesn't matter anymore"

"Yeah it does, tell me," she said. "Please," she added and Sawyer knew she would ask until he told her.

"Its James," he sighed.

"James," she repeated, looking him up and down. "Yeah the name suits you."

"Well I'm glad you think so."

"Can I call you James, when no one's around?"

"We'll see," Sawyer told her. "But I'm not James anymore, I'm Sawyer now."

"Ok then I guess I'll have to stick with Sawyer for now," she said.


	13. Claire's baby

This is a revised version of my earlier story I had posted. Please review.

Title: Stay With Me

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think  
.

* * *

Over the past three days Natalie has become worried about Sawyer, she has started to think something is wrong with him. She goes over to him and sits next to him.

"Sawyer, do you feel ok?" she asked.

"Of course I'm fine," he said holding his head.

"No your not, but if you don't want to tell me its ok," she said and noticed he was squinting and had his head in his hands.

"Does your head hurt?" she asked concerned and he doesn't answer buts she knows its true. She stood up and walked away, remembering she saw him talk to Sun yesterday, Natalie searches for her. She finds her at the garden.

"Sun," Natalie said.

"Oh hi Natalie."

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

"I saw you talking to Sawyer yesterday, what's wrong with him?" she asked worried.

"He's been having headaches and the aspirin isn't working."

"That's it," she asked and Sun nodded. "Thank you." Natalie said and ran to fin Jack.

"Jack," she said and he turned to look at her.

"I need you to do me a favor."

"What is it?" he asked.

"I need you to examine Sawyer, he's having bad headaches."

"I don't know Natalie, he will not want my help and its not like he'll accept my help either, you know how ungrateful he is."

"Yes I know, but you're a doctor and your supposed to help people that need you and he needs you. I'll let you think about it, but I hope you'll do this for me," Natalie said and walked away.

Natalie made her way back to Sawyer.

"Sawyer maybe you should move somewhere else to try and rest, the noise they are making building the raft can't help your headache," she said.

"How do you know I have a headache?" he asked.

"Its obvious," Natalie told him.

"I'm not moving," he said.

"Then lay down and try to rest," she said and he did without arguing. Natalie wet a cloth and laid it over his head.

When Jack comes to the beach to check on the raft he notices Sawyer lying down with a cloth on his head and Natalie by him. He walks over.

"Sawyer how long have you been having headaches?" Jack asked.

"You told him," he said to Natalie as he sat up.

"I was worried about you, your not going to do anything to help yourself" she said.

"If you come by the caves I can run some tests," Jack said.  
"Sorry Doc, my insurance just ran out," Sawyer said and Jack left.

"Sawyer, why can't you just let him help you?" Natalie asked.

"He doesn't want to help me, he only checked on me because you asked him to," Sawyer said.

"Sawyer you're obviously in a lot of pain, come on I'm taking you to Jack," she said and as Sawyer squinted up at her he saw how worried she was.

"Ok but I'm only doing it because you asked me to," Sawyer said and Natalie helped him stand and led him to the caves.

"Have a seat," Natalie said gesturing to a rock and Sawyer sat. "The doctor will be with you shortly," she said and went to get Jack.

"Jack, Sawyer is waiting for you," Natalie said.

"He's actually here, you got him to come?"

"Yes now please be nice," Natalie said and Jack nodded and went over to Sawyer and started asking him questions.

"How long have you been having Headaches, where at on your head does it hurt, intensity of pain on a scale of one to ten."

Sawyer answered all the questions but then they started to change into "When did you have sex last, have you ever had a sexually transmitted disease, when was your last outbreak," Sawyer stormed out on the last question realizing Jack was toying with him.

"What did you say to him?" Natalie asked. "Where you making fun at him, while he was in pain?",

"Sawyer's fine Natalie, he just needs glasses. He's been reading to much while he's been here"

"Is that all?" Natalie asked and Jack nodded.

"Thanks Jack," she said and hugged him.

"Your welcome," he said. 'I'll be by later to find some glasses for Sawyer."

"Alright, I'll see you later then."

Natalie made her way back to the beach and sat next to Sawyer.

"Hey," she said. "You're going to be fine, you need glasses. Jack is on his way over here to help find you a pair"

"Glasses," Sawyer groaned and a few minutes later Jack showed up with a box of glasses and they began to try them on. The find two pair that work and fuse them together to make one. Jack gives the glasses to Sawyer. They are not very flattering and Sawyer knows it. Jack leaves him checking his new look in a mirror. Natalie looked over at him, she knew he hated the glasses but he needed to wear them.

"They are not so bad," Natalie said. "I like a guy that wears glasses."

"Don't patronize me," he said.

"Sawyer they look good and at least you won't have bad headaches now."

"I look like a loser," he said and Natalie shook her head.

"You look fine Sawyer," she assured him.

"Really I look good, you think so," he said smiling a little and Natalie nodded. "I guess I should thank you for getting Jack to help me," Sawyer said.

"You don't have to thank me," She told him.

"Yeah well," Sawyer said and laid his hand on her cheek. "Thank you anyway," he said and leaned towards her, Natalie leaned in as well and just as they were about to touch Kate comes barreling in.

"SAWYER!" she yelled. "I need all your alcohol."

"What happened?" Sawyer asked getting what she asked for.

"Its Boone," she said. "Locke said he fell while hunting."

"That's a lie they haven't been hunting," Natalie said.

"How do you know?" Kate asked.

"Boone told me," Natalie said. "How is Boone?"

"It doesn't look good," Kate said and ran off.

"I'm going to the caves," Natalie said.

"Do you really think that's a good idea?" Sawyer asked,

"I have to go," Natalie said. "I have to see."

"Fine, wait and I'll go with you," he said and Natalie nodded and a few minutes later they headed off.

When they got to the caves Natalie saw Boone.

"Oh my God," she said covering her mouth with her hand. "He looks horrible."

"Natalie," he got out as his eyes rolled in his head and Jack looked over and she walked in.

"Natalie you shouldn't be here," Jack said.

"Jack I…" she began but didn't get to finish because Jin rushed into the caves.

He stopped seeing Boone, then looked at Sun and started to speak quickly in Korean.

"Claire's having the baby, now," Sun told Jack.

"Claire's having the baby," Charlie said. "Where?" he asked and Sun told them.

"Charlie I need you to take some towels and water to Kate and Claire, Natalie I need you to go and help Kate deliver the baby, you know what to do," he said.

"No I can't leave," she said.

"Natalie please, I can't do this now, I have to be here," he said. "Please go and help Kate."

"Fine Jack," she said and followed Jin to where the Claire was. Sawyer followed. When they arrived she saw Kate trying to calm Claire. Natalie walked over.

"Jack isn't coming, we have to deliver the baby," Natalie said.

"We," Kate said.

"Yes We as in me and you, Jack is trying to save Boone now, he's pouring his own Blood into Boone right now," Natalie told her. "We can do this, we have to do this," she said.

"Ok Charlie, Jin and Sawyer," she said. "You guys wait over there," she pointed. "Charlie you stay out of the way, no matter what you hear," she said. "I give Sawyer permission to do what he has to, to keep you out of the way," she said and he nodded and the three guys walked over.

"Ok lets do this." Natalie said "Claire hi, its Natalie. Are you ready to have this baby?" she asked.

"I can't," Claire said. "It'll hate me."

"No it won't, it's a baby and he or she is going to love you."

"It will know I tried to give it away that I didn't want it," Claire said.

"Do you want this baby now?" Kate asked and she nodded.

"That's all that matters," Kate said.

"She needs to push," Natalie told Kate.

"You have to push Claire," Kate said and she did and several pushes later the baby was out

"It's a boy," Kate said handing him to Claire.

"Congratulations," Natalie said smiling at Claire.

"Now, Kate you can take it from here I have to go," she said and ran off.

"Damn it," Sawyer said and took off after her.

When Natalie got back Jack had moved Boone outside and he had finally realized Boone wasn't going to make it.

"Jack," Natalie said and he looked over at her.

'I've done everything I could Natalie," Jack said and she walked over.

"Boone," she said touching his face, he opened his eyes. Sawyer arrived and saw Natalie standing by Jack looking at Boone.

"Natalie, I'm sorry for everything I've done to you. I want you to know I did love you," he said.

"I know," she said and he opened his mouth, "Shh," she said placing her hand over his mouth. "Don't talk its ok," she whispered and kissed his forehead. "I love you to," she said and he looked over at Jack .

"Jack its ok, just tell Shannon," he said and he said nothing else.

"Boone," Natalie said holding back tears. "Boone!" she yelled running her hand over his face, the tears started to fall uncontrollably down her face. She tried to stop them but she couldn't. Jack ran his hand over his eyes to close them. "NO!" she yelled and fell to the ground with her arms wrapped around her, she was rocking back and forth, "Boone," she whispered and Jack bent down.

"Nattie," he said touching her shoulder and trying to wrap his arms around her.

"No," she said shaking him off. "leave me alone please." she said not being able to stop the tears. Sawyer walked over and knelt down.

"Natalie," he whispered and she looked up at him and he wrapped his arms around her, she tried to shrug him off, the harder she fought against him the tighter he held her. "Natalie," he whispered and she finally got tired of fighting him and leaned against him and cried. Jack watched as Sawyer held his sister upset that he couldn't comfort her, that she wouldn't let him but glad someone could even if it was Sawyer. Sawyer picked her up in his arms. Jack watched

"You take good care of her Sawyer or you'll be very sorry," Jack said and Sawyer nodded and walked away.

Sawyer carried her to his makeshift tent and gently laid her on the ground. She was still sobbing and when he laid her down she laid on her stomach and covered her face with her arms and continued to cry. Sawyer didn't know what to do; he had never been to good at consoling crying females. He was usually the reason they were crying. Although Natalie was more hysterical.

"Natalie," he said softly pulling her hair away from her face. "Come on look at me," he said but she wouldn't.

"Natalie," he said rubbing her back to try and calm her down. He said nothing else, but after a while he noticed she had stopped crying. He pulled her hair away from her face and noticed she was now asleep. She had cried herself to sleep. Sawyer put a blanket over her and watched her sleep.

Jack made his way to the beach to check on Natalie and look for Shannon. He went over to Sawyer's tent.

"Sawyer," Jack said.

"She's asleep," Sawyer said never taking his eyes off Natalie. He brushed the hair that had fell into her face away. "My guess is that she exhausted herself from all the crying," he added before Jack said anything else.

"Probably so," Jack agreed and they were both silent. "Look," Jack began. "I know that you and I don't agree on anything," he added. "But I think the one thing we might actually agree on is that we both care about Natalie." he went on, "Boone's death, even though they weren't together hit her hard because…"

"She still loves him," Sawyer finished pushing a stray hair away from her face. "And she always will," he added with a sigh and looked up at Jack.

"Yeah," Jack said, he seemed shocked Sawyer realized this.

"For some reason, some strange reason what Natalie needs right now is you," Jack told him and Sawyer noticed he seemed bothered by this.

"She'll need you to, you're her brother," Sawyer pointed out.

"I need to find Shannon, she needs to know," Jack said. "I'll come back by and see if Natalie is awake," he added and Sawyer nodded and Jack left.

It wasn't very long after Jack left that Natalie woke up. She sat up and looked at Sawyer. She pulled her legs up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them and rested her chin on her knees.

"Hey," he said and Natalie didn't say anything.

"Natalie I'm not going to lie, I'm no good at the sensitive guy thing, I don't know what you want me to do," he told her. ". I'm lucky I can take care of myself, I really don't know how to take care of anyone."

"Yeah you do," she whispered. "You've been taking care of me since the day I met you, you just haven't realized it yet."

"I've done what you asked or what I thought you needed." Sawyer said. "I don't see how I've taken care of you though."

"My back, working through my feelings for Boone, my break-up with Boone, Scott, and now that Boone's gone," she began, "Dead," she whispered. "You're just here and that's enough," she got out before the tears come again. She buried her face in her lap and cried. Sawyer moved closer to her and wrapped his arms around her and held her.

"Natalie," he whispered. "I don't know how to take care of you but I'm going to try."

"Please, just don't leave me," she sobbed and leaned against him. "Stay with me."

"I'm not going anywhere," he assured her as he ran his fingers through her hair.

_FLASHBACK:_

_Natalie and Boone are on a date. They are walking hand in hand in what appears to be an amusement park. There are games and rides. Boone leads Natalie over to one of the games, it's a game where there are three bottles stacked up and you are given a baseball to throw and try to knock them down. If you knock all three of them down you get a prize. Boone decided to try. He got three tries. He missed on the first two and then on the third try he knocked all three bottles down and he won a nice stuffed bear for Natalie._

"_Thank you" Natalie said_

"_Your welcome" Boone said and smiled. He leaned into kiss her. "Now how about we ride that ferris wheel"_

"_Boone, we've talked about this, you know I'm scared of ferris wheels."_

"_Nothing is going to happen. It's safe. We'll be fine"_

"_Boone I…"_

"_Please" he said "Its romantic a moonlight ferris wheel ride"_

"_Sure it is"_

"_Give it a shot" _

"_Ok, ok" Natalie said and they went to get in line for the ferris wheel, they got on and got all strapped in and it started._

"_See it's not so bad" Boone whispered taking her hand in his._

"_So far, so good" Natalie agreed then they stopped and they were stopped on top._

"_You see this is what I don't like"_

"_Its ok" he told her "Look at me" he said and she did "I love you"_

"_I love you to" she told him_

"_Now close your eyes"_

"_What! Boone"_

"_Just do it" he said "Trust me"_

"_Ok" she said and closed her eyes. Boone smiled and he leaned forward and pressed his lips to hers in a tender kiss._

_When Natalie opened her eyes Boone wasn't there, she was alone._

"_Boone" she said and looked below her to see if he was somehow off the ride but he wasn't there. She closed her eyes again feeling all alone and hoping when she opened them Boone would be there with her. When she opened them this time she was in the jungle._

"_Boone!" she called out running, looking for him. "Boone!"_

_Finally she came to a clearing and saw his body lying there. She walked over to it._

"_Boone," she said pressing her hand over his heart. She felt no beat. "Boone, no," she whispered. "Don't leave me," she added dissolving into tears. She laid her head on his chest and cried. She wiped her eyes and when she looked around she was back on the ferris wheel but when she looked over, Boone wasn't there, Sawyer was._

"_Sawyer, what are you doing here?" she asked surprised_

"_Hey Shortcake, I'm here to take care of you" he told her and she scooted closer to him_

"_Are you really?" she asked_

"_Yes" he said and he ran his finger across her cheek and then pressed his lips briefly to hers and said "I don't know how to take care of you, but I'm going to try"_

Natalie woke up. "NO!" she yelled sitting straight up. Sawyer bolted up next to her

"Natalie, what is it?" Sawyer asked

"I have to go see Boone" she said putting her shoes on

"Natalie it's late, it's not safe"

"I'm going" she told him and she stood up and left.

"Damn it Natalie, wait a minute" Sawyer said putting his shoes on and going after her.


	14. Ferris Wheels

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

When Sawyer managed to catch up with Natalie she was already standing by Boone's body. She ran a hand over his forehead.

"I just can't believe its true, I keep hoping to wake up and find out that this has been some kind of bad dream, she said. "I was dreaming about the night we rode the ferris wheel," she told him. "You knew I hated ferris wheels," she said as a tear ran down her cheek. She wiped it away. "I can't believe your really gone, I keep expecting to wake-up and find out this has all been a terrible nightmare." She said. "I know you didn't fall off a cliff Boone, I wish I knew exactly what you were doing and if it involved this hatch you told me about," she went on. "Boone I love you and now I have to figure out how to move on without you. I mean yeah I lived without you for three years, but even when we were upset with each other and not together I was glad you were around and now I have to live without you permanently and I don't know how I'm going to do it," she told him and placed her hand over his heart and tears fell from her eyes again.

Sawyer walked over and stood behind her.

"Natalie," he said gently grabbing her arm, she turned around.

"Sawyer," she said surprised, he let go of her arm.

"Come on lets go," he said softly and held out his hand. Natalie looked at his hand. Natalie looked at him for a minute then back a Boone. Finally she placed her hand in his and he led her back to his tent. When they got back to the tent Natalie laid down. Sawyer laid down beside her.

"Do you want to tell me about it?" he asked and she didn't say anything.

"Did you have a bad dream?" he asked and she still didn't say anything

"Ok fine, you don't want to talk, I get it," Sawyer said and Natalie rolled over and looked at him. She saw it in his eyes, he was actually worried about her.

"I had a dream about the night Boone and I went to a small county fair," she told him and he talked me into riding a ferris wheel, I'm not to fond of ferris wheels, they scare me," she added. "We stopped at the top and we were talking he told me he loved me and told me to close my eyes. He kissed me and when I opened my eyes he was gone and I was alone stuck at the top of the ferris wheel," she went on.. "Then I was in the jungle looking for Boone and when I found him he was dead and then I was back in the ferris wheel but you were with me."

"I was there," he said shocked.

"Yeah and you said you were going to take care of me and you kissed me."

"I did," he said.

"In my dream." she whispered and they were quiet.

"Have you ever been in love Sawyer?" she asked.

"No, I prefer not to love anymore." he admitted.

"Why would you want to do that?" she asked. "Love is amazing."

"If you love you have a chance at being hurt," he told her. "Look at you," he pointed out.

"Yeah, but I wouldn't trade any of the good times I had with Boone, I was never sorry I loved him. We had much more good times, happy times than we did bad. Though you have only seen the bad mostly."

"Yeah."

"He was really good to me when we first started dating. There was always hand holding and talking and flowers. I think he came along at the perfect time, I was having a rough time and he helped me"

"How?" Sawyer asked

"I met Boone a month after I broke up with Johnny and I dated Johnny for about two years and he walked out on me," she told him. "It doesn't matter why," she said before he could ask. "I was headed for disaster anyway after David."

"Who's David?"

"My high school boyfriend," she told him. "He was the quarterback of the football team."

"What were you a cheerleader?" he asked sarcastically

"Actually yeah I was," she said.

"Oh, so What happened?"

"We went to this party and they had alcohol, I got a little drunk"

"You got a little drunk," Sawyer said as if he didn't believe her.

"Ok a lot drunk way to drunk to drive." She said "Anyway, out of the two of us David was the smart one that night, he didn't drink. So finally we decided to go and David helped me out to his truck so he could drive me home, I guess we were going to get my car the next day" she said. "We were going around a sharp curve and he took it to fast and another car was coming, the car was in our lane. He swerved to miss it and we went off the road, there was a drop off,. We hit a tree and David wasn't wearing a seatbelt. The truck flipped a few times," She said her voice breaking. "I was knocked out and when I woke up David wasn't there," she said. "And I yelled for him and I didn't see him anywhere. People thought he might have crawled out of the truck and fell into the nearby river and drowned. We never found his body we all assumed he died," she said as tears ran down her cheeks. "I lived, all I had were cuts and bruises, a broken arm and broken leg" she said wiping a tear away "David died trying to help me, I blame myself for it, I should never have gotten drunk, he might still be alive if I hadn't got drunk" she said.

"Its not your fault,"

"On some level I still feel partly responsible for the accident, I should have never been that drunk, hell I shouldn't have been drunk at all." She admitted. "I just don't know why it was Boone that had to die"

"No one knows that," Sawyer said. "But you mentioned Boone didn't fall off a cliff because they weren't boar hunting," Sawyer added. "So what were him and Locke doing?"

"They found something in the jungle a hatch of some sort and they've been trying to figure out a way to open it."

"You think he died trying to open it?"

"I don't know, I don't know," she told him and a tear ran down her cheek.

"Don't cry again," Sawyer said wiping the tear away.

"Its like I can't stop crying" she told him as more tears fell. "I don't like crying all the time, it gives me a headache and makes my eyes red," she told him. "But I'm just glad I'm here with you."

"I don't know what you want from me," Sawyer said.

"Right now I just want you to hold me," she said. "Can you do that?" she asked.

"I…" he began. "Of course," he said and Natalie scooted closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder, Sawyer wrapped his arms around her. "This ok?" he asked.

"Perfect," she replied.

* * *

The next day when Natalie woke up Sawyer was still asleep so she made her way to the caves to see Jack. When she got there Shannon was sitting next to Boone's body. When Natalie walked out Shannon looked at her.

"Sorry," she whispered. "I'm just looking for Jack."

"He's in there," Shannon told her softly and Natalie walked by Shannon and went inside the caves.

"Jack," Natalie said.

"Natalie," Jack said shocked to see her. "How are you doing?"

"I'm ok Jack," she assured him.

"Where's Sawyer?"

"He's asleep, I wanted to come here so I figured I'd let him sleep."

"Ok," Jack said. "We're putting together a service for Boone today, just so you know."

"Alright," she whispered.

"I came by to check on you yesterday but you were asleep," Jack told her.

"Oh," she said and they were quiet.

"Natalie I don't want to bring this up now but Kate mentioned you said Boone and Locke weren't Boar hunting."

"I did say that," she confirmed.

"What were they doing?"

"Why don't you ask Locke?"

"Do you think he would tell me the truth?" Jack asked.

"I don't know," She told him honestly.

"What did Boone tell you?" Jack asked.

"That him and Locke found something in the ground, after digging it up it was a hatch of some sort but it was locked from the inside, they've been trying to get in."

"Is that how Boone died?"

"I don't know Jack if you want to know that ask Locke but he didn't fall off a cliff boar hunting, they haven't hunted together at all," she told him and walked out of the caves and past Shannon who was still sitting by Boone.

Back at the beach Sawyer had woken up and saw Natalie gone. He thought she may have gone back to Boone's body and got up and headed in that direction. As he heads off towards the caves he meets Natalie coming back.

"You finally wake up sleeping beauty" Natalie said and kept walking, Sawyer followed her.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"I went to talk to Jack and I figured I was better off letting you sleep," she told him. "They are having a service for Boone later today."

"Oh," Sawyer said.

"I can't go, I'm not watching them put Boone in the ground," she said softly.

"You don't have to watch but maybe you should at least go," Sawyer suggested.

"I don't know if I can," she told him.

"Well no one will force you to go, its your decision," Sawyer said.

"I know that but I think I'm better off dealing with Boone's death differently," she told him.

"You have to do what's best for you," Sawyer said.

"I know that and I'll deal with it in my own way."


	15. You kissed me and Wow

**A/N: I thought about what was said about Natalie's dream and I've added something to this chapter where her and Sawyer talk about it more. I appreciate the reviews and you taking time to leave comments. I hope you like this chapter, review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Later that day Natalie watched as everyone walked past her to attend the service for Boone. She stood up and once thought about joining them but then quickly changed her mind and ran off in the other direction, hoping to get some alone time. She should have known better. She had just collapsed on the ground under a tree thinking about how awful it was that Boone had to be the one to die and how different her life was going to be without him. He wasn't really a bad person and they had a lot of good times together. She closed her eyes and silent tears ran down her cheeks, but when she opened them again she was no longer alone. Sawyer was now standing in front of her. She looked up at him. 

"I'd rather be alone," was all she said.

"No you wouldn't," he told her sitting down beside her. She looked over at him.

"Why are you here?"

"I saw you run off and I just wanted to make sure you were ok."

"Well I'm fine Sawyer or I will be."

"I know you loved Boone and that he loved you in his own way, but Natalie don't shut everyone away. I'm here if you need me."

"You're here for me, that's a load of shit Sawyer," she said upset.

"What!"

"If you are here for me why are you leaving me?"

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Don't play stupid with me because I know better. I may not have known you that long but I know you well enough to know that you are not stupid, you're actually a smart guy."

"Ok so I'm not stupid I still don't…"

"YOU'RE LEAVING ON THE RAFT! YOU'RE LEAVING ME HERE ALL ALONE!" she yelled as more tears ran down her cheeks.

"Natalie," he said softly. "I didn't know you felt this way."

"How could you not?" she asked him angrily.

"Natalie, just because I'm leaving doesn't mean I'll never see you again," he told her. "Did you ever think that maybe I'm doing this FOR YOU not to hurt you."

"What?" Natalie asked, now she was confused.

"If I sail away on the raft, I can find someone to come back here and rescue you and finally get you off this island."

"Really?" she asked and he nodded. "But its dangerous, you might not even find help. You could get hurt or worse, you could get killed or something."

"Do you always have to think the worst?" he asked. "I'll be fine and I'll be back for you." He whispered.

"I'm going to hold you to that," she told him. "So you better come back to me."

"I promise," he told her and she laid her head on his shoulder and he wrapped his arm around her.

"Don't forget about me either," she said softly.

"How could I ever, you won't let me." He joked. "I'm kidding I could never forget about you."

"You better not because I'll never forget about you." She told him. "I loved Boone once a long time ago and I guess when I saw him again after three years all those feelings I had came rushing back because I never really dealt with them. I thought I had gotten over him but apparently I hadn't. I should have never tried again with him, look what it got me. Nothing but a broken heart. I should have known better I can never compete with the girl he always wanted but could never have."

"Shannon," Sawyer sighed.

"Yep and all she did was play with his feelings for her and use them against him so she could get what she wanted. Money." She said and Sawyer said nothing because he felt she needed to say more and she did. "But you know what on some level maybe I am as bad as Shannon."

"I don't see how," Sawyer said appalled she would even think that.

"Well getting back together with Boone was a way for me to avoid feelings of my own," She began. "Feelings that I was developing for you." She confessed.

"Feelings for me?" he asked.

"Yeah Sawyer you. I was falling for you and I didn't want to because I knew you'd never feel the same way, so I let myself, I convinced myself getting together with Boone was the right answer. I knew Boone would break my heart but that seemed better than getting it broken by you."

"Why would you think I would break your heart?" Sawyer asked.

"Kate." She said. One word that caused her not to have to say anymore but she did anyway. "Kate, I'm not Kate so how could you ever return my feelings? How could you ever love me? Why would you even want to?"

"Love," Sawyer whispered. "Do you love me?" he asked as if it was impossible.

"Yes Sawyer I love you," she told him.

"Unbelievable." was all he said.

"That's it, that's all you have to say?" she asked.

"I don't know what to say Natalie. I mean," he said running his hand through his hair. "I mean you should hate me you have every right to but it was like no matter how many times I pushed you away you were right back in my face. I don't even know why you trusted me at all but you did."

"James," she said using his real name and he looked at her. It almost sounded right for her to call him that.

"I know I'm sailing away in a few days but I will come back to you, I will find you again. I promise and haven't I always kept my promises to you."

"Basically yeah."

"Natalie the thing is that maybe, I mean I might possibly. I don't know never mind." He said. The words were too hard to say, if he said them it meant that they were true and he was admitting it. But it was true he did love Natalie.

"Maybe we should go back," Natalie suggested and Sawyer nodded and stood up. He extended his hand down and helped her up. Natalie stood up but as she walked forward she tripped over a rock and fell into Sawyer. He wrapped his arms around her to catch her. She fell against his chest. She looked up at him. He saw the sadness in her eyes and wished he could make it go away. He brushed her hair away from her face and tucked it behind her ear. Then he leaned down and his lips met hers in a tender kiss. It was the softest, gentlest kiss Natalie had ever experienced but it still made her feel like she was on fire. This was what had been missing, what she had been searching for. Sawyer pulled away and looked into her eyes. He smiled and then took her hand in his and led her back to the beach.

"I was thinking about your dream," Sawyer said.

"Why Sawyer?" she asked. "You got a dream book at your tent?"

"What if I did?" he asked.

"I don't care, I don't want to decode my dreams," she said. "All I know is I was scared on that ferris wheel when I was Boone but when I was there with you I wasn't, I felt safe and I don't know why," she said.

"Well I'm glad I could make you feel safe in what you thought was an unsafe place, even if it was only in your dream," he said.

"I think I read somewhere that a ferris wheel means you're going in circles or something," she told him.

"So you were afraid on the ferris wheel with Boone," Sawyer said. "So were you afraid of going in circles with Boone?"

"I don't know, it seems like that's all we did. We kept going over and over the same things and the same thing happened, he called me Shannon again, he left me for Shannon." She said. "I was going in circles with him." She said. "But when I was on the ferris wheel with you, the fact that I was scared left and you kissed me and wow…" she said.

"Wow is all you can say?"

"Wow," she said.

* * *

Natalie was sitting on the sand thinking about what had happened. Sawyer hadn't said he loved her but it could be true. The kiss they shared was unlike any kiss she had ever experienced in her life. It was in one word amazing. _Am I wrong for feeling this way, I mean Boone is dead and I'm kissing another man already. _Tears fell from her eyes. God she wished she could stop crying. Someone sat down beside her. 

"Natalie," he said and she looked over. It was Locke.

"Mr. Locke," she said.

"John." He corrected her.

"John," she said.

"Boone told you the truth," a statement not a question.

"Yes he did, he said he wanted me to know in case something happened."

"I knew he wouldn't keep the truth from you for long." Locke said.

"How did Boone die?" Natalie asked. Locke looked at her and sighed.

"There was this plane in a tree. Boone climbed up to see what was inside, it was nothing but he did find the planes radio and he tried to radio out, the plane fell to the ground, with him inside." Locke explained as tears fell from Natalie's eyes again.

"You'd think I'd be out of tears by now." She told him wiping her eyes.

"Its ok and I'm sorry it happened," Locke told her.

"I'm a horrible person," Natalie told him.

"I hardly think so," Locke said.

"I didn't go to Boone's service today because I couldn't bear to watch him being buried. I went to spend some time alone but Sawyer found me. He's leaving on the raft when it sails."

"Yeah I heard," Locke said.

"I have a confession," she told him.

"Your going to confess to me of all people, I figured you would hate me, blame me for Boone's death."

"Did you cause the plane to fall?" she asked.

"No it did that on its own." Locke told her.

"I don't see how you are responsible, except that you shouldn't have let him go into the plane." She said

"Ok."

"I did love Boone, I loved him more three years ago when we were together than I did on this island, even though we tried again. I knew it was pointless he loved Shannon, most everything in his life was about Shannon," She told him and noticed he didn't look surprised. "You figured that out on your own didn't you?"

"I did."

"Anyway Shannon is the reason we broke up. The reason I left him and went to Australia and ended up here." She told him. "We had a disagreement and it made me really mad so I just got up and left, I didn't give him time to talk, I didn't want to hear any of it."

"Why waste your time, that was what you were thinking."

"Exactly" she said. "So that brings me to here and to Sawyer."

"Sawyer?" Locke asked and looked at her. "You're in love with Sawyer."

"Am I that obvious?" she asked.

"Only to people who pick up on small things and my guess is he feels the same way. I mean why else would he keep your secrets and take care of you like he has. My guess is he wouldn't do that for anyone."

"Yeah maybe not." She said.

"You mean something to him Natalie, you have to know that."

"I guess," she said unsure.

"You do. Sawyer has things in his past that hurt him is my guess and even though you may know these things, these things might be the reason he tries so hard to be hated, to make people hate him."

"I never hated him, I could never hate him."

"I know that, but he is sailing away in a few days and he may not be back."

"He has to come back, he promised me he would come back," Natalie told him.

"Natalie we're both reasonable, rationale adults here and we both know that there is a chance he may never come back."

"I know, I just can't think about that." She told him.

"I know," he said. "Well I should go."

"Alright see you later John," Natalie said.

* * *

Sawyer was sitting under a tree trying to read but Natalie's words kept running through his head. Sawyer I love you. It was impossible, unlikely and everything he wished for. He sighed. 

"So what are you thinking about?" someone asked him. It was that lady, what was her name. Rose. Sawyer didn't look up.

"Natalie." Rose said sitting down. Sawyer looked over at her, she apparently wasn't leaving.

"Maybe," he admitted.

"What did she tell you today?" Rose asked.

"She says she loves me and I don't know how she could or why she would."

"Because look at everything you've done for her, you've taken care of her and my guess is that's something you don't do very often."

"No it isn't but Natalie's different," he admitted.

"Why?" she asked and Sawyer closed his book.

"She never jumped to conclusions like everyone else did and if she wanted to know something she asked me, she never accused me. And she believed me, no one else ever did."

"Of course she did, she loves you."

"Yes that is what she said,"

"And you?" Rose asked.

"What about me?" Sawyer asked.

"You love her to and she needs to know. She needs to know before you sail away."

"I'm not good at saying things like that."

"Can you write it?" Rose asked and he nodded. "Then write it." She told him and stood up and walked away.

* * *

Sawyer though for a minute and then got up and went to his tent. He took out some paper and a pen. What should he write, how should he begin. He thought for a minute and then he started to write. He read it over when he was done and satisfied with it, went to find Natalie. 

When Sawyer stepped out of his tent he saw Natalie sitting close to the water letting the waves crash around her. He walked over and plopped down next to her.

"Shortcake," he said smiling. She smiled back.

"You haven't called me that in a long time," she told him.

"I know," he said. "I have something for you," he told her and took a folded piece of paper out of his back pocket. "This is for you. I hope that it means something to you, it wasn't exactly easy for me to write, but when you are missing me which I know will be every minute. You can read it." He told her and placed it in her hand, then he got up and walked away. Natalie watched him leave, she stood up and walked away from the water so she didn't get whatever it was he just gave her wet. She found a place under a tree and sat down and opened the letter.


	16. The Letter

Not one of my best chapters but I hope you enjoy it anyway.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Natalie began to read what he had written. 

_Princess, Natalie, Shortcake,_

She smiled when she read how he started the letter.

_I guess you know by now that I'm not exactly the kind of guy who is open about my feelings. But ever since we talked today there is something that has been bothering me. Well bothering is the wrong word. Something I need to say to you, so here goes. It may help you to understand me better. The last time I was in love it didn't end up well. Her name isn't important but what she did was break my heart. I'm telling you this so you can understand me a little better and know what you're getting into with me. Anyway this girl, woman, broke my heart, I truly loved her and I found her in bed with another man and not just any man, a man that called himself my friend. They were in my house, in our bed. They both sat up and looked at me when I burst in as if I was the one who was wrong. She then went on to tell me things weren't exactly working out for her in our relationship and she was pregnant and it obviously wasn't mine. I lost the woman I loved and my best friend all in one day. I cried for the first time and that day decided to never love another woman again. It wasn't worth it to me. _

Natalie stopped reading for a minute to wipe the tear that ran down her cheek. Then she resumed reading.

_Ok so I got stranded here on this island and here you came. Jack's little sister, everyone loved you immediately. But there was something about the way you looked at me the first time you saw me. You know the look I'm talking about. Basically you were different than everyone else I got that right away. How were you different, well you didn't hate me like everyone else. You believed in me for some reason and you trusted me and slowly my guard was beginning to drop. I found myself enjoying having you around, wanting you around, looking for you just so I could be close to you. Any excuse to see you. You seemed to be head over heels in love with Boone and I hated him because he had you, because you loved him. All this from a guy who said he'd never love again right. Anyway you and Boone broke up and I hated that it made you upset, made you cry, but I have to admit that I felt relieved, happy. You weren't with anyone; maybe you could be with me. I would never ask though. Can't admit my feelings. So that brings me to today and you saying you love me which makes me the happiest and the luckiest man alive. Then we kissed today and although it wasn't a long kiss, its still the best kiss I've ever had and I'm not lying when I say that or when I write what I write next. Its you that has made being on this island bearable for me. That lady Rose talked to me today and she made a lot of sense and she was right and you know how I hate to admit that anyone is right. I bet you're wondering what she said now, huh? Well she said that I love you and you know what, its true. Natalie I love you, I thought I could never love anyone again but I have. Somehow I fell in love with you and you know what? I think I like it. I'll be thinking about you while I'm gone and I hope you'll be thinking of me. I thought falling in love was impossible and ridiculous. But you know what? It's not so bad. I'm not exactly good at saying the words so I hope this will do for now. So while I'm gone hold on these three little words that I will repeat over and over. I love you, I love you, I love you._

_Love,_

_Sawyer_

Natalie read the last few lines again as if she couldn't believe what she was reading.

"He loves me," she said to herself and smiled. She folded the letter back up and put it in her pocket. That woman that broke his heart had no idea what she was missing, what a bitch.

Natalie stood up and walked over to Sawyer's tent.

"Sawyer," she said. He looked up.

"Come on in," he told her and she did and sat down next to him.

"I read the letter," she told him.

"Oh," was all he said.

"That woman that broke your heart has no idea what she let go, what she is missing out on." Natalie told him. "You know what else. This letter will be good enough for know because while your gone, I'll know you love me. I can read it over and over."

"Good," he sighed.

"You remember while your gone that I love you to," she told him.

"I will," he assured her. She looked up at him.

"Natalie," he whispered as he moved the hair away from her face and rested his forehead against hers.

"Kiss me James," she whispered and he did. His lips met hers and it felt like something exploded when their lips met. Her arms wrapped around his neck and his hands rested on her waist. He pulled her into his lap. Natalie ran her hands through his hair and Sawyer ran a hand up her back and tangled his hand in her hair and pushed her to him. He ran his tongue along her bottom lip begging her to open her mouth, which she did and he pushed his tongue inside exploring her mouth and when hit tongue touched hers, heard Natalie let out a moan and oh what that sound did to him. Finally they broke apart. They were both breathless.

"Wow," was all Natalie could get out.

"Tell me about it," Sawyer said.

"I love you," Natalie whispered but she knew he wouldn't say anything, he didn't really have to. She could see it in his eyes.

* * *

Natalie and Sawyer were now lying on the beach together, watching the sunset. They were trying to make the most of the time they had together before Sawyer sailed away. Sawyer was lying down on his back and Natalie had her head laid on his stomach. He was running his fingers through her hair. They weren't really talking, but that was the good thing about her and Sawyer they didn't have to talk to be comfortable around each other. They were just as comfortable not talking as they were talking. 

"I can't believe you'll be leaving soon," Natalie sighed.

"I know but you understand that I have to go."

"Yeah I do, I just hope I see you again."

"Natalie I am going to do my best to see you again, to get help and come back for you." He told her.

"I know you are, I have faith in you."

"I'm glad someone does."

"You're an amazing guy. You are a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for." She told him

"Think so?"

"Yep," she said. "You are also charming, when you want to be; I've seen that you do have a nice side to you as well. You are also incredibly sexy."

"Yep I knew it, you only want me for my body," Sawyer joked.

"Well James, although you have a great body, its not the only reason I want you. We have a special connection that I…We, shouldn't have fought against." She added. "The island brought you to me."

"Oh hell Princess, now you sound like John Locke."

"Well its kind of true," she argued. "Whatever brought you to me whether it was the island or not, I'm thankful for it."

"Yeah me to." He sighed.

"Hey James," Natalie said and she turned over on her stomach and folded her hands on his chest and rested her chin on top of her hands.

"Hmmm" he said

"Do you believe in soul mates? That there is one perfect person out there for everyone?" she asked.

"Well I admit I never believed it, sounded like a bunch of shit to me. But that was before you."

"I just might have to kiss you for saying that," Natalie said and she raised her head up and pressed her lips to his.

"You're beautiful," Sawyer whispered. "Have I ever told you that?"

"I don't think so, but it's always nice to hear."

"Well I'm telling you now. You are beautiful." Natalie smiled shyly at him, blushing a little.

"Well its starting to get dark we should head back," Sawyer said and Natalie agreed and they stood up and walked back.

"Good night Natalie," Sawyer said and kissed her.

"Good night James,' she replied and made her way back to where she was sleeping.


	17. Until we can't keep our eyes open

**A/N: Thanks to Padme4000 for all the constant reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

The next morning when Natalie woke up she went to Sawyer's tent but he wasn't there. She wondered where he could be. She looked down the beach and saw Michael working on the raft with Jin and yes Sawyer was with them. She walked over.

"Hello boys," she said. "How's it going with the raft? Will it be ready in time?"

"Oh hi Natalie. It will be ready today or it should be. We have to set sail soon so it has to be." Michael told her.

"That's good. You boys be careful, don't overwork yourselves." She told them. "See you later," She added and looked at Sawyer.

"Sawyer," Natalie said giving him a smile.

"Natalie," he replied and she walked away.

"Is there something going on between you and Natalie?" Michael asked.

"Let's get back to work," Sawyer said ignoring his question.

* * *

Natalie walked to the caves to get water. She filled up her bottle and some extra's for Michael, Jin and Sawyer.

"Morning Natalie," someone said.

"Good morning Jack," she said cheerfully.

"You're in a good mood this morning," Jack said smiling.

"Yeah I am, it's a nice day. The raft is coming along nicely. I'm fixing to take Michael, Jin and Sawyer some water."

"That's nice of you."

"I guess it is," Natalie said.

"Natalie I need to ask you something and I want you to be honest with me," Jack said.

"Ok Jack, what is it?"

"Is there something going on between you and Sawyer?" he asked. "I just want to know."

"If you had asked me this question a few days ago I would have said no and that would have been the truth. But now yes there is."

"Natalie," Jack said concerned.

"Jack please do not even start with how wrong Sawyer is for me ok because I don't want to hear it. I think he's right for me and yes I know he's sailing away soon, but Jack I don't care about that, please try and understand how I feel."

"Maybe I could if you explain it to me."

"I love Sawyer," she told him.

"No you don't, you were in love Boone."

"Yes I was, three years ago and Boone well I'll always care about him. But Jack, Boone's gone now and he's not coming back and I really do care about Sawyer. He's been there when I needed someone; he's taken care of me and Jack I need you to understand how I feel about this. You don't have to like Sawyer. I'm not even asking you to accept him. I'm just asking you to accept how I feel about him."

"I'll try Natalie but you're asking a lot of me," Jack told her.

"I know, but thanks Jack," she told him.

"He's a lot like Johnny," he pointed out.

"He's nothing like Johnny," She told him. "Sawyer and Johnny are two very different people."

"Not really," he said.

"I know I should have never dated Johnny, I knew that the whole time I was dating him but Sawyer's not Johnny."

"I don't want something that happened to you with Johnny to happen to you again."

"I know and it won't. Sawyer's not going to hurt me," Natalie assured him. "I love you, you know that."

"Yes I do Natalie and I love you as well," he told her and she stepped forward and hugged Jack.

"Well I'll see you later Jack," she told him and took the water bottles and left.

* * *

When Natalie got back to the raft Michael, Jin and Sawyer were taking a break.

"Hey guys, I brought you some water." She told them giving them the bottles she filled up.

"Thank you," Michael said.

"And since you're taking a break, can I borrow Sawyer for a minute?"

"Go ahead," Michael said a slight smile on his lips.

"Sawyer, a moment of your time." She said and he nodded and stood up and followed her.

"Ok what is it?"

"I just talked to Jack," she told him.

"About what?" Sawyer asked.

"He came straight out and asked if there was something going on between us," Natalie told him.

"What did you tell him?" Sawyer asked, worry in his voice.

"The truth Sawyer, I couldn't lie to him. He's my brother."

"And he hates me!" Sawyer exclaimed throwing his hands in the air.

"Sawyer it doesn't matter. I told him I love you." She said taking his hands in hers.

"Oh I bet he loved that," Sawyer said sarcastically.

"Don't take that tone Sawyer. Jack told me he would do his best to accept how I feel and that is asking a lot of him."

"He's never going to like me," Sawyer pointed out.

"He doesn't have to like you, he just has to accept that I love you."

"You think he will."

"Maybe, eventually. I don't know and right now I don't care." She told him.

"Really?" he asked.

"Yes." She assured him. "Ok so you go get back to work and I'll see you later," she told him.

"Yeah see you later," Sawyer said.

"James," Natalie said, "Kiss me." She demanded

"You're very demanding you know that?" he said stepping forward and closing the distance between them.

"My best quality," she told him wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I hardly think so, you have many more better qualities." He told her and pressed his lips to hers. Natalie sighed when his lips touched hers and leaned into him. He pulled away.

"I have to go," Sawyer said and she groaned.

"Ok," she said. "I will see you later." She told him.

"Is that a threat?" he asked a smile forming on his lips.

"No it's a promise." She assured him and he walked back to the raft.

* * *

It was later in the day and Sawyer, Michael and Jin had finished working on the raft. Sawyer had went to go get cleaned up and Natalie was waiting for him in his tent. When he returned he just had his jeans on, his hair was wet and water was running down his chest.

"_Damn he looked good, was he trying to kill her." _She licked her lips.

"You been waiting on me?" he asked.

"No," she said shaking her head. "Yes" she said and he laughed.

"You're all clean," she teased. "Makes me want to get you all dirty."

"Really," he said raising his eyebrows as he sat down by her,

"Oh yeah," she said and she pushed him down to the ground and moved on top of him.

"I'm going to miss you so much," she told him.

"Yeah, well I'm such a great guy how can you not miss me," he teased.

"Sawyer," she whined hitting him playfully on his bare chest.

"I'm kidding, I'm going to miss you to."

"Good," Natalie said smiling. She kissed him. "I'm staying here tonight," she told him.

"So that's it, you don't ask you just assume that I will let you stay."

"Well if you don't want me here, I'll go." She said and started to get up.

"Don't you dare go anywhere," Sawyer told her and pulled her back down.

"Well if you insist," she smiled and lay down beside him and propped herself up on her elbow and rested her head in her hand. Sawyer did the same. They laid there looking at each other for a few minutes, neither one of them said anything.

"Why don't you want anyone to know your real name?" Natalie asked.

"Well just think if they knew my real name then it wouldn't mean as much when you called me by my real name." Sawyer told her.

"Seriously," Natalie said.

"Well I've been Sawyer for so long that, James is kind of lost now, a memory." He said.

"Well is James anything like the person I'm talking to now?" Natalie asked.

"He might be." Sawyer said.

"It doesn't matter, I love you no matter what your name is," Natalie assured him.

"Good to know," Sawyer smiled.

* * *

When Natalie woke up the next morning Sawyer was still sleeping beside her, or that's what she thought. She looked down at him and smiled. Then it suddenly hit her the raft would be ready today, they were sailing out tomorrow, today is her last day with him. After tomorrow morning she may never see him again. She knew it was dangerous and that he might not make it back, that she may never see him again. A tear ran down her cheek. 

"Are you crying?"

"I thought you were asleep," she said.

"Are you crying?" he asked again.

"No," Natalie answered wiping a tear away "My eyes are just full of water and its spilling down my cheeks."

"You're crying," Sawyer said sitting up. "Why?"

"Well it just hit me, Today is my last day with you, the raft will be ready today, you'll be leaving tomorrow morning."

"I know." Sawyer said. "Let's not think about that."

"I can try, but you're still leaving."

"I'll be back," Sawyer told her.

"You may not," she whispered.

"Let's not think about all that right now. Get up and get changed and let's start the day."

"Ok" she said softly.

"We'll make the most of the day from now until we can't keep our eyes open any longer," Sawyer told her.

"Alright, I'll be right back," she said softly and stood up.


	18. I need you here

**A/N: Thanks to Padme4000 for all the constant reviews. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

When Natalie came back Sawyer was dressed and sitting down reading another book. 

"Hey, I'm back."

"About time," Sawyer said putting his book down. She walked over.

"I wasn't gone that long," Natalie told him. "It just seemed like a long time because you miss me so much when I'm not with you," she teased.

"Maybe I do," he told her standing up.

"How are you ever going to make it without me?" she asked, jokingly.

"It won't be easy, but I'll have the thought that I'll see you again soon to keep me going."

"Do you really mean that?" she asked shocked.

"Yeah I do," he assured her.

"That's sweet," Natalie sighed and Sawyer rolled his eyes.

"Yeah just what I want to be known as sweet," Sawyer said sarcastically.

"We'll keep it our secret, I won't tell anyone," she told him. "On one condition."

"What?" he asked.

"That you kiss me right now," she told him.

"I can do that," he said and closed the distance between them and his lips met hers in a tender kiss. It was so gentle, sweet, and tender. Like he was pouring what he felt into the kiss because he'd never say it. He pulled away.

"Go for a walk?" he asked and she looked at him and appeared to be thinking.

"Ok," she said nodding her head.

"Well lets go then," Sawyer said and held out his hand. She placed her hand in his and they walked hand in hand out of the tent. "Wait," Sawyer said pulling her back before she walked completely out of the tent.

"What is it?" she asked. "Something wrong?"

"Well walking out of this tent together, is going to be like declaring we're together. Are you ready for that?"

"Yes," she said without hesitating. "Lets go." She added and he nodded and they walked out of his tent together.

When they walked out everyone who was on the beach stared at them.

"Everyone's staring," Natalie whispered.

"Well Princess, what did you expect?" he asked, there it was that condescending tone again.

"I don't know," she admitted.

"Well come on," he said and they started to walk down the beach. After walking a while they found a place and sat down, close to the water. They sat and let the water rush over their feet.

"I really wish you didn't have to go," Natalie sighed, looping her arm through his and laying her head on his shoulder.

"I know," he sighed.

"I know that you feel like you have to and I'm not going to try and change your mind. Just be careful," she told him. "And don't do something stupid to get yourself thrown off the raft," she added.

"I promise to be careful and safe and I'll try not to get thrown off the raft."

"One more thing," she said. "When you do find help, don't fall in love with anyone else before you come back to me."

"I won't," he assured her.

"You better not," she sighed. "I'm really going to miss you." She said and he smiled. "I'm going to miss your smart ass comments, your stupid nicknames you have for everyone, the way you smirk when you've made someone mad…"

"Hey! If I didn't know any better I would think you were insulting me," Sawyer said offended. She looked at him and gave him a smirk that could rival his, it was very Sawyer like.

"Hey! That smirk is mine. You have been around me to long," He said.

"I'm going to miss…"but she didn't get to finish because his lips were on hers. He pulled away "I'm going to miss your sarcasm," she said.

"I don't believe you," he told her kissing her again.

"I'm going to miss your kisses," she sighed as he ran his finger over her cheek and lips. "And the way you touch me," she added softly.

"I'm going to miss how you always pick on me," Sawyer told her.

"Its not called picking on you, its called concern and love,"

"Whatever," he said and they were both quiet.

"James," she said softly.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You know the place I stayed before I came to stay here?"

"Yeah out in the jungle," Sawyer stated.

"Well I was wondering," she said. "Never mind." She added shaking her head and looking away.

"No not never mind. What is it?" he asked and she turned to look at him. "What about the place you stayed in the jungle before you came here?"

"Do you want to stay there with me tonight?" she asked. "I thought it might be nice because we'll be alone and it will be quiet. It's our last night together as well and…"

"Natalie," Sawyer whispered and she looked at him. "Ok, that sounds fine."

"Really?" she asked in disbelief.

"Yeah really," he told her.

"Good."

"Do you have something in mind for tonight?" Sawyer asked interested.

"No, I mean I just want to be alone with you. You're sailing out of my life tomorrow and what if I never see you again. Anything could happen, you may or may not find help. Being out there on the raft is going to be dangerous. What if it comes a really bad storm or something? There are a million things that could happen."

"I know that, but we are going to be careful. I'm not as stupid as everyone thinks I am," he told her.

"I know that and I'm guessing Michael knows that as well or he wouldn't have agreed to let you go with him. Just get along with Michael and Jin. Please be nice to Walt, he's just a kid."

"I'll try," Sawyer assured her.

"You promise you'll try to be nice?" she asked hopefully.

"Yes Natalie I will," he assured her.

"Good." she said, "I'm glad you will try James, but you have to do more than just try, it will be absolutely terrible if something happened and you never saw me again."

"Yeah that would be awful," Sawyer said with a smile as she laid her head back on his shoulder.

As they sat alone in silence the only thing Natalie could think about was that tomorrow Sawyer would be gone and how lonely and different it would be on the island without him. A tear ran down her cheek and she wiped it away before Sawyer could see, she couldn't however stop the rest of the tears that ran down her cheeks. Sawyer heard her sniffles.

"Natalie, are you crying?" he asked.

"No," she replied.

"Liar," he said. "Look at me," he said and she didn't lift her head off his shoulder. "Natalie," Sawyer said again and she lifted her head and looked at him.

"Why are you crying?" he asked.

"Don't worry about it, I'm ok" she assured him.

"So you're crying because you're ok?" Sawyer asked and it was apparent he didn't believe her.

"I'm fine," she said again.

"Natalie. What are you thinking about?" he asked her.

"That tomorrow you'll be gone and this place will be so lonely and different once you're gone, at least it will for me." She sighed.

"I will miss you to, but its not good-bye. Its more of a see ya later," Sawyer told her smirking and wiping her tears away with his thumbs.

"I know that. I just, I don't want you to go," she admitted.

"Natalie please don't do this," he pleaded. "I have to go, I have to do this, please understand." He said looking at her. Her eyes met his and she saw the longing in them, for her to understand.

"Understand what James?" she asked, "That you have a death wish."

"I'm not leaving because I have a death wish," he told her.

"Then why?" she asked.

"If I leave maybe, maybe I can save you and get you off this island," he whispered.

"You don't have to leave to save me, I need you here," she told him.

"Natalie you know how I feel about you. You made me feel something that I longed to forget about. I'm not walking out on you, I will be back to get you and we will be together." He assured her, "That is if you don't find someone better while I'm gone," he added.

"There is no one better," she said softly.

"Your brother would disagree with that," he told her.

"Well we're not talking about Jack are we?"

"No we're talking about you," Sawyer sighed.

"And how much I need you here."

"Natalie," Sawyer began taking her hand in his, "This is our last day together, lets just concentrate on making the most of it not arguing."

"Ok," she agreed.

"So let's go get food," Sawyer suggested and she nodded and they stood up and walked over to get some food.


	19. I love you

**A/N: The song in this chapter is Let me Love you by Tim McGraw.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

_Sometimes I close my eyes  
And imagine you with me  
Chasing passion into the night  
All tangled in a dream. _

Oh if you could see my heart  
The way I feel inside  
You would know just how far  
I'm willing to go to get to you  
There is nothing I won't do.

Let me show you what it's like to lose control  
Free the desire in your soul  
Oh oh let me love you.

Let me take you to a place like no where else  
Show you the things you never felt  
Oh oh let me love you.

I want to taste your kiss  
Be the reason for your smile  
Touch the magic on your skin  
Be the one that drives you wild.

Oh if you could read my mind  
You'd know you're everything I need  
You'd see yourself through my eyes  
You may understand what I'm going through  
And just how much I want you.

Let me show you what it's like to lose control  
Free the desire in your soul  
Oh oh let me love you.

Let me take you to a place like no where else  
Show you the things you never felt  
Oh oh let me love you.  
Let me love you!

Let me show you what it's like to lose control  
Free the desire in your soul  
Oh oh let me love you.

* * *

As they were walking back with the food they met Charlie. 

"Hey Natalie, Sawyer. I'm putting together a message in a bottle. If you want to write a message for the bottle just write it and give it to me and then they'll take it on the raft tomorrow and throw it out."

"Message in a bottle, that's a good idea Charlie." Natalie said, "Very sweet and cute."

"Thanks I think," Charlie said.

"I'll get my message together tonight, ok." Natalie said.

"Yeah alright," Charlie said and walked off.

* * *

Natalie and Sawyer sat down inside his makeshift tent with some fish they got from Jin and began to eat. 

"Are you going to write a letter for the bottle?" Natalie asked.

"Nope, I've already written mine and you have it." He told her and she smiled as she thought about the letter he wrote her that she carried around in her pocket.

"So there's no one you want to write to?" she asked him in disbelief, "There's no one that you would want to know your ok if this bottle was found?"

"Just you," he told her and she smiled, "No one is missing me and once I leave tomorrow you're the only one here that will be missing me." He added and they were both quiet for a while.

"Jack thinks you're just like Johnny?" Natalie said suddenly.

"And who's Johnny?" Sawyer asked.

"One of my ex boyfriends. I dated him before Boone and after my high school boyfriend David."

"Oh and why would Jack think I'm like Johnny?" he asked.

"Well Johnny was a bit older than me like you but other than that I don't see any similarities between the two of you. You're much hotter than he was."

"That's good to know," Sawyer said. "What happened between you two?"

"He left me," she told him and said nothing more and Sawyer didn't press for details. He knew Natalie was a lot like him, in that she wouldn't tell you anything until she was ready for you to know. They sat in silence for a few minutes.

"Don't think about it," Sawyer said suddenly.

"What are you talking about?" Natalie asked confused by his sudden outburst, "Think about what?"

"Don't think about tomorrow, you're getting that look in your eyes."

"How can I not think about tomorrow?"

"By concentrating on now, today." He told her.

"You're right," she agreed.

"Of course I'm right," Sawyer said and she smiled shaking her head. They finished up their food and sat in silence a few minutes.

"Kiss me," Natalie said and Sawyer looked over at her.

"What if I don't?" he asked and Natalie could see him trying to stop that smirk of his from appearing on his face.

"Then I will be very, very mad at you," she teased and he raised an eyebrow at her. Natalie moved closer to him. She straddled his lap and wrapped her arms around his neck. She looked at him and leaned in closer until their lips were almost touching and said. "I'm waiting." She whispered.

"I see," he drawled and rested his hands on her hips and leaned into her until his lips met hers in a gentle kiss. His lips left hers to kiss her neck and Natalie rested her hands on his shoulders and turned a little so Sawyer could reach her neck better. She let out a yelp when she felt his teeth graze her neck. Natalie pulled away and ran her fingers through his hair and then she brought her lips to his neck and began trailing kisses along his neck. She kissed behind his ear and she heard him let out a deep moan. She flicked her tongue out behind his hear.

"Damn," Sawyer groaned and Natalie pulled away. "Why did you stop?" he asked.

"Because we need to pack a bag and get going if we're going to reach my old place before dark," Natalie said.

"Oh yeah, I guess I was a little distracted," Sawyer pointed out.

"Well now you're not." She said hopping up to gather things from his tent. "Get a change of clothes for yourself," she told him throwing a blanket or two in the bag and then grabbing herself some clothes. She grabbed some water bottles and threw one to Sawyer and then packed some fruit. Soon they were all packed up.

"Ready?" he asked and she nodded and they headed out together.

* * *

They reached her place with no problems and went inside and sat down. It would be dark soon and she was glad Sawyer was with her, she didn't know if she could be alone anymore like she was before. Sawyer and Natalie were quiet. Natalie looked over at Sawyer; she loved how they didn't always have to talk to feel comfortable around each other. She liked the fact that they didn't feel the need to fill voids of silence with meaningless conversation. She wondered if Sawyer liked it as well. Sawyers gaze met hers and he smiled and said. 

"Yeah I like it to."

"Like what?" she asked.

"That we don't have to talk to feel comfortable around each other. That we can be just as comfortable when we're not talking as we are when we are talking."

"How did you know that's what I was thinking?' she asked him.

"I don't know, it just… I was thinking and it sounded like something you would think about."

"Well I actually was thinking that and wondering whether you thought the same thing, so now I know."

"Yep now you know."

"Yeah," she sighed moving over to sit between his legs. She leaned against him and Sawyer wrapped his arms around her.

"James," Natalie said softly.

"Hmmm" he said.

"I…um…" she began turning to face him. "Well I…" she said unsure if she should say what she wanted to.

"What is it?" he asked.

"Well I…James," she said.

"Natalie what is it?" he asked again.

"I've been thinking," she said.

"You shouldn't think it will give you a headache," Sawyer joked.

"This is no time to joke," Natalie said laughing slightly and hitting him playfully on the arm.

"Well what have you been thinking about?"

"You," she told him, "and me," she added. "And what…how far…The fact that I want to be with you completely." Sawyer looked at her.

"Natalie are you saying that…What are you saying, just say it, just tell me," he pleaded.

She took a deep breath and said. "James I want to be with you, make love to me." She whispered.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"I'm positive," she told him with a smile and he smiled back and leaned down and kissed her. Natalie turned around to face him as they continued to kiss. Sawyer's hands ran down her sides and to the hem of her shirt. He stopped kissing her to pull her shirt over her head and toss it to the side. Natalie's hands tentatively went to his shirt and she started to undo the buttons but wasn't having much luck because her hands were shaking. She finally got all the buttons undone and ran her hands over his chest. Sawyer just smiled and his lips met hers again in a gentle kiss and he started to lower her to the ground but stopped.

"Wait," he said.

"What is it?" she asked and he looked around and saw a blanket.

"I'm going to go get that blanket," he told her.

"There's two more in my bag," she told him and he got up and came back with three blankets. He laid two out on the ground.

"It won't soften the ground much but it'll help," he said. Natalie's was shocked he remembered about her and Boone. Sawyer kissed her again and lowered her gently to the ground as Natalie pushed his shirt off his arms and tossed it to the side. She looked up at Sawyer and rested her hands on his shoulders, then moved her hands to wrap around his neck. She leaned up and pressed her lips to his. Sawyer pulled away. "Lift up a little bit," he whispered and she did and he reached behind her and undid her bra and slid it down her arms tossing it to where their shirts were laying. Natalie ran her hands over Sawyer's chest more slowly this time taking time to explore his body and get to know how his body felt. After a few minutes Sawyer gently took her hand in his and his lips crashed on her neck and Natalie turned her head to the side so her could reach her neck better. Natalie tangled her hands in his hair as Sawyer's lips trailed lower on her body kissing lower on her neck and between her breasts. His lips trailed lower kissing her stomach and stopping at the waistband of her pants. He laid down resting his chin on her stomach, he looked at her.

"You sure you want this, you want me?" he asked softly.

"Yes I do, there isn't anyone else I want, just you James." She told him and a genuine smile graced his face. He placed his hands on the button of her pants and undid them, then he unzipped the zipper and slowly pulled her pants and panties down so she was laying naked before him. His eyes traveled over her body. He thought she was perfect, but Natalie feeling self conscious about him looking at her covered her body with her hands.

"No Natalie don't," Sawyer whispered taking her hands in his and moving them off her body. "Don't cover your body up, let me look at you," he told her. "You're beautiful, perfect and exactly what I want." He told her and then his lips descended on hers. Natalie ran her hands down his body to the waistband of his jeans and undid the button and slowly unzipped the zipper and pushed his pants down. Natalie's eyes wandered over his body. Sawyer was definitely well built, at least the best built man she had ever seen, not that she had seen that many. Natalie looked up at Sawyer and her eyes met his.

"What's wrong?" Sawyer whispered.

"Its nothing, I'm fine," she told him, she knew he didn't believe her. "I haven't done this much,."

"That doesn't matter," Sawyer said softly caressing her face with his finger. "It doesn't matter. I don't care about how many guys you've been with, I care about you," he told her and pressed his lips to hers. Natalie sighed and wrapped her arms around him. The kiss drove any thoughts she had in her head out and when he pulled away she groaned. He ran his hand down her body, he stopped and rested his hand on her hip.

"Are you ready?" he whispered.

"Yes," she assured him and Sawyer put his knee between her legs and parted them. He slowly entered her. She gasped softly. Sawyer's eyes met hers.

"I'm fine," she answered before he even asked. As they became one Sawyer's eyes never left hers.

* * *

Natalie was lying awake beside Sawyer thinking about what just happened. She rolled over on her side. Sawyer was lying on his side; he had his back to her. Natalie rested her chin on his shoulder. 

"You awake?" she asked.

"You think I could sleep after that."

"I don't know," she whispered. Sawyer rolled over on his back. Natalie looked down at him and placed her hands on his chest and then rested her head on her hands.

"Apparently you can't sleep either because you're still awake," he pointed out.

"I was just thinking, you know about us."

"What about us?" he asked.

"Do you think, well do you think that we would have gotten together in the real world? I mean if we had met somewhere besides this island do you think we would have gotten together?"

"I don't know, I'd like to think we would. I like myself better when I'm with you." He confessed and she smiled.

"I know what everyone must be thinking when they see us together."

"What?" he asked.

"Why are they together? They're not right for each other? I thought she loved Boone? Its not like he actually cares about her he's using her for sex. Jack's never going to approve of us."

"What everyone else might be thinking or saying doesn't matter. We are right for each other and there was a time when you did love Boone. I do actually care about you, I would never use you for sex." He told her, "Not you." He added softly.

"Thank you," she whispered.

"For what?"

"For saying that, for tonight, making me feel the way you have. I don't know how I'm going to make it without you."

"You'll be fine and I'll be back to get you, I promise."

"Yeah I know." She sighed moving to rest her head on his shoulder.

"Is Jack's opinion that important to you?" Sawyer asked.

"His opinion has always been important to me. We've had our disagreements but he's my big brother and he's always looked out for me. I love him and I hate the fact he may never accept how I feel about you." She confessed

"I'm sorry, I know I don't help things much. I make it worse sometimes."

"Yeah you do, but that's ok."

"We should get some sleep," Sawyer said.

"You're right" she yawned. Good night."

"Good night," Sawyer replied.

"I love you," she said falling asleep. Sawyer looked over at her, she was already asleep. He smiled.

"I love you to," he whispered but she never heard him.


	20. Its not Goodbye forever

A/N: Thanks for the Reviews. 

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Natalie woke up some time later in the night. She looked over and saw Sawyer was still asleep next to her. He was snoring slightly and he looked so peaceful, he had a smile on his face. He must be having a good dream. Natalie stood up and walked over to her bag. She slipped on Sawyer's shirt and pulled out some paper, a pen and a flashlight. It was time to write her message to go in the bottle. She looked at Sawyer and smiled, then started to write. About twenty minutes later she was done and she put it away and put her flashlight in her bag and walked over and went to lay down by Sawyer.

"What are you doing?" Sawyer asked.

"Nothing," she answered and she pulled his shirt of and stretched out on top of him. Sawyer looked up at her. She pressed her lips to his and then trailed kisses along his neck she stopped to suck on his earlobe and Sawyer let out a moan as she flicked her tongue out behind his ear. She then trailed kisses down his chest.

"Natalie," Sawyer whispered and she looked up at him.

"What?" she asked. "Oh god am I doing something wrong?"

"No, you're doing everything right," he told her and he rolled over so he was now looking down at her. "We should both get some sleep," he told her.

"Yeah I know," she sighed as he kissed her and then he rolled off of her

"Good night James," she said yawning.

"Goodnight," Sawyer said and saw that she was already asleep. "I love you," he whispered.

* * *

The next morning when Natalie woke up Sawyer was already awake beside her. 

"Morning James," she said sitting up and looking around.

"I guess we should get dressed and head to the beach," Sawyer suggested.

"We don't have to go yet," Natalie said leaning over and kissed him. She crawled on top of him and kissed his neck.

"Again?" Sawyer asked.

"Well not if you don't want to."

"Oh I always want to,' Sawyer said smiling. "I just didn't think you would."

"It's the last time I may see you for a while," Natalie whispered and Sawyer leaned up and kissed her lips and rolled over and looked down at her. Sawyer smiled and kissed her and Natalie soon forgot about everything else as they made love for the final time before he sailed out of her life.

* * *

Natalie and Sawyer were now getting dressed. 

"Natalie," Sawyer said pulling out a piece of paper.

"What is that?" she asked.

"It's a letter that I wrote for you last night while you were asleep." He told her. "Read it after I'm gone, promise me."

"Ok I promise," she said and he handed the letter to her and she put it in her pocket. Sawyer leaned forward and kissed her.

"Come on lets get back to the beach," he said standing up and Natalie nodded grabbing her bag and following Sawyer.

"Where have you been?" Jack asked when he saw Natalie and Sawyer walking out of the jungle together.

"Jack what's wrong?" she asked.

"I haven't been able to find you, I was worried."

"I'm fine, I was with Sawyer." She told him.

"I see that," he said and it was clear he didn't approve.

"Jack don't do this now, not today." She warned him and Jack looked at her.

"He's leaving today," Jack said as if just remembering.

"Yes Jack. He's leaving today ok," she said upset, "That should make you happy because I won't be around him anymore. I wish you could accept I love him but you never will." She cried and ran toward Sawyer's tent.

"Natalie," Jack called after her, but she didn't turn around she went inside Sawyer's tent. Jack turned to Sawyer. Jack covered his face with his hands.

"Why is she mad at me every time I talk to her?" Jack asked.

"Why would I know?" Sawyer asked.

"You're always with her, she trusts you more than she does me." Jack said. "I doubt she even likes me anymore." Jack added and Sawyer looked at him, the guy was clearly upset and even though he wanted to make some smart-ass comment about this to make him feel worse he couldn't do it. Natalie wouldn't want him to. Also this could be the last time he saw Jack.

"Listen Doc," Sawyer began. "You're her big brother and she thinks the world of you. You're her only family and she loves you." Sawyer added. "Your opinion is the only opinion that matters to her, the only one she cares about. The only opinion she ever valued."

"She say that?" Jack asked.

"She said something like that once." Sawyer told him.

"That's why it upsets her so much that I don't approve of your relationship with her."

"Yeah it does but you have your reasons," Sawyer said. "If you don't mind I only have a few more hours before I leave and I'd like to see Natalie."

"Ok," Jack said and Sawyer walked to his tent.

* * *

When Sawyer walked in his tent Natalie was crying. 

"Natalie," Sawyer said sitting by her. She sat up and leaned against him.

"I don't want you to leave me James, I can't live here without you."

"Yes you can, because I'll be back. Just please don't do this Natalie. Don't cry again, you know I have to leave." He told her. "If you ask me to stay you know I can't and it will break my heart to tell you no."

"So, you've already broken mine because you're leaving." She told him.

"Natalie please," Sawyer said.

"Fine," she said sitting up and wiping her eyes. "I have to find Charlie to give him my message anyway." she added and stood up.

"Natalie," Sawyer said.

"I'll find you later," she told him and left.

* * *

Natalie finally found Charlie gathering people's messages. 

"Charlie," Natalie called out and he turned around.

"Hey Natalie," he said.

"Here's my message," she said handing him a folded piece of paper.

"Thanks."

"Yeah, your welcome" she said and Charlie took it and put it in the bottle.

"Are you ok?" Charlie asked.

"I'll be fine, just have to get through the day."

"This is about Sawyer isn't it? He's leaving on the raft."

"Yes he is and I can't ask him to stay that would be selfish. He wants to go and feels like he has to. I just hope he's careful and doesn't do anything stupid."

"He wouldn't do that." Charlie assured her.

"How do you know?"

"Because he has something to live for now, a reason to want to be alive." Charlie pointed out.

"Really? What is that?"

"You," Charlie told her.

"Me?"

"Don't pretend you don't know he loves you."

"You think he loves me?" she asked.

"I know he's not the type of guy to say the words but you have to know."

"Yeah I do know, I just…"

"You'll manage without him, it won't be easy but you'll manage."

"You think so?" she asked.

"Yeah you're a lot stronger than you think you are." Charlie told her.

"Thanks" she said.

"Your welcome."

"Well I'll See ya later," she said and walked back to Sawyer's tent but he was gone. She wondered where he was.

"You looking for me?" Natalie turned around.

"Maybe," she said.

"You're mad," Sawyer stated.

"I'm not mad," she told him. "I just feel like I'm losing my best friend," she admitted.

"Natalie…"

"I'm not done," she interrupted. "I feel like I'm losing my best friend, my boyfriend and the man I love because you are all of that to me." She told him. "All that and more."

"Natalie, you think this is easy for me?" he asked

"I don't know, is it?"

"No, I don't want to leave you," he admitted.

"Then don't."

"I have to go on the raft Natalie, I have to."

"I know, I don't understand all your reasons but if this is something you feel like you have to do then I can't stop you."

"No you can't," he told her.

"Fine," she said. "I won't mention it again."

"Yeah you will,' Sawyer smirked.

"We'll see," she said smirking back at him.

* * *

Everyone was gathering by the raft to say good bye to Michael, Jin, Sawyer and Walt. Sawyer and Natalie were saying good bye away from everyone else. 

"Be careful and try to be nice." Natalie told him.

"I promise," Sawyer told her. Natalie laid her head on his chest and he wrapped his arms around her.

"I love you James," she told him.

"Yeah I know you do and Natalie," he said pulling away and looking at her. "I love you to." She smiled and her eyes started to tear up. Sawyer leaned down and placed a kiss on her lips and then took her hand in his and walked over to the raft. Reluctantly Natalie let go of his hand.

"Goodbye James," she whispered.

"Its not goodbye forever, its more of a I'll see ya later." Sawyer told her and kissed her one final time and then boarded the raft taking the bottle with the messages in it from Charlie and the raft set sail.


	21. Sayid and Natalie

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

**

* * *

**

Natalie stood on the beach for a long time staring out at the ocean.

"Hey," she heard someone say and she turned and saw Sayid standing beside her.

"Hey Sayid," she replied.

"No matter how much you stare at the black dot disappearing it isn't going to make him come back."

"I know," she admitted. "You think I'm crazy because I'll miss Sawyer."

"No I don't think you are crazy, I think you are in love." He told her.

"Well love makes you do crazy things like fall for a guy your brother doesn't approve of."

"You can't help who you fall in love with, Its just something that happened." Sayid said.

"I trusted Sawyer like I trusted no other guy, not even Boone or Jack." She admitted. "I told him things no one knows about me. Things that if Jack knew he would be disappointed in me."

"Like what?"

"It doesn't matter, its over now anyway," she sighed.

"I guess so," Sayid said.

"You think he actually loves me?" Natalie asked.

"Yes," Sayid answered. "Well come on lets go," Sayid said holding his hand out. Natalie looked at his hand then back at the ocean and slowly placed her hand in his and they walked back to the beach together.

"Thanks for trying to help me but I'm sure Shannon is looking for you."

"You are probably right, so I'll see you later," he said.

"Yes see ya later." Natalie said and she walked away from Sayid so she could go read the letter Sawyer had written her.

Natalie sat down under a tree and took the letter Sawyer had given her before he left. She opened it and began to read it:

_Natalie,_

_If you're reading this it means I'm gone on the raft and I'm missing you a lot. I know that even though you say you understand why I had to leave that you really don't. You will in time, you'll understand I left on the raft for you, because I love you. I didn't leave to hurt you; I wanted to help you, to get you off this island. I've only been in love once and as you know, it didn't turn out well for me. All the other women I said I love you to, it was all a part of some scam I was pulling. If the woman believed I loved her then it made it a lot easier to con her, steal her money or her husband's money. With you that's not true, I hope you know that. What I had before was nothing compared to what I feel now. I've never really loved a woman until now, until I met you. Just know that no matter what happens I truly love you and when I tell you that it isn't a lie. Natalie I love you and I'll be thinking about you everyday, you know that. I hope you'll be thinking of me everyday as well. Until I see you again remember I love you._

_Sawyer_

Natalie finished reading the letter; a single tear ran down her cheek. He really did love her; it had to be true. She folded the letter and put it in her pocket and stood up and walked to Sawyer's tent.

* * *

Sawyer was sitting on the raft, he had the bottle with the messages in it and he was reading them out loud.

"Hey, your not supposed to read those," Walt said.

"Its not like they'll know,' Sawyer argued as he read the next message to himself. He smiled at the first lines.

_**James,**_

_First of all you should stop reading everyone's letters, they are none of your business. You really are nosey. Secondly don't forget I love you. I'll be thinking about you everyday and hoping that you, Michael, Jin and Walt have a safe trip. I can't wait to see you again. Just so you know I'm sitting here writing this letter as I'm watching you sleep. You look so peaceful and you have a smile on your face. That smile better mean you are dreaming about me. It breaks my heart that you are sailing away but we'll see each other again. I keep thinking about what we shared together when we made love for the first time. It was so different that anything I experienced before. No one has ever made me feel the way you did last night when we made love. I felt appreciated and cared about and though you may never say you love me I know that you love me. The letter you wrote me and the way you've acted prove it. Nobody on this island may understand our relationship but it doesn't matter. They don't have to understand it. No one has to understand why I love you and I don't have to explain it to them either. All that matters is that I love you and you love me. I had been alone for so long before you and there was something about you that made me feel a way I hadn't felt since before I crashed here. I felt safe, even though I know this isn't a safe place. You made me feel like my opinion mattered and I was important. Like I have told you at least ten times be careful and don't do something stupid to get thrown off the raft. You have to come back to me. I love you._

_**Natalie**_

Sawyer folded the letter up and put it in his pocket. Walt looked at him.

"Don't worry this letter is for me," Sawyer told Walt.

"From Natalie?" he asked.

"Not that its any of your business but yes," Sawyer said. Michael looked over and chuckled slightly.

"You really like her don't you?" Walt asked.

"Yes I like her," Sawyer told him.

"You love her?" Walt asked and Sawyer looked at him.

"Walt that's enough, leave Sawyer alone," Michael interrupted.

"She loves you," Walt went on ignoring his father.

"You think so?" Sawyer asked.

"Of course why else would she spend so much time with you and look at you the way she does. Anyone can tell she's in love with you."

"Oh" Sawyer said.

"She's pretty," Walt added.

"Yes she is, she's very pretty," Sawyer agreed. "At least you have good taste."

"But she's Jack sister and Jack doesn't like you," Walt pointed out.

"Yes I know that already," Sawyer said looking at Walt.

"What are you going to do about it?" Walt asked.

"Do about what?"

"What are you going to do about the fact Jack doesn't like you?" He asked. "You love Natalie even if you won't admit it." He added. "You have to do something to make it ok for her to love you," Walt went on.

"I don't know, got any ideas Kazoo," Sawyer asked.

"I'm just a kid what do I know," Walt said and walked over to his dad leaving Sawyer to think.

Sawyer was thinking about what Walt had said. He was right in so many ways. He did love Natalie, Jack didn't like him, but there was nothing he could do to make Jack like him. Could him and Natalie really work out if Jack could never accept their relationship. Maybe if he got help to get them off the island it could make Jack like him more. Not that he wanted Jack to like him, this was for Natalie. It seemed like everything he did lately was for Natalie. He knew if Jack could never accept him that it would be hard for Natalie to stay with him no matter how much she loves him. Jack was her brother and she loved him in a different way, but loved Jack more than she could love him. She would never turn her back on Jack for anyone though, even if she were in love with that person.

"What you thinking about?" Michael asked.

"Nothing Mike, I'm ok."

"Its Natalie," Michael said. "Why did you leave her? I know how you feel about her. You love her."

"Maybe That's why I left," Sawyer pointed out.

"You left her because you love her," Michael stated. "That makes a lot of sense."

"Love doesn't have to make sense to work. Nine times out of ten love doesn't make sense."

"I guess you're right," Michael agreed,

* * *

Natalie was sitting in Sawyer's tent. Her thoughts were drifting to Sawyer. She was interrupted when she heard a female voice.

"Hello, Natalie." Natalie looked up.

"Hi Sun," Natalie said.

"I know you're missing Sawyer right now, but sitting around and thinking about it isn't going to help."

"Well what will help?" Natalie asked.

"Keeping busy," Sun told her, "So you don't think about Sawyer," she added. "Come on get up and follow me," Sun told her and Natalie did.

Sun led Natalie to the garden.

"Its your Garden,' Natalie stated.

"Yes I know, working will take your mind off things for a little while," Sun said.

"I guess your right," Natalie said kneeling in the garden and starting to work. It was an hour and a half later when she left.

"Thanks Sun, I'm going to get cleaned up a little, I'll see you later." Natalie said.

"Alright, thanks for your help," Sun said.

"I didn't do much." Natalie told her and walked away.

On her way to wash up Natalie ran into Sayid.

"Hi," Natalie said.

"Hello," Sayid said looking at her. "You're all dirty," he stated.

"I've been helping Sun in the garden."

"Keep your mind off of things?" Sayid asked.

"Something like that yeah," she told him. "So how's everything going with you and Shannon?"

"I don't know."

"Ok, so nothing's happening then?" Natalie asked.

"Not really," Sayid answered.

"Maybe you need to wait a little longer, I'm sure she cares about you to. She has to."

"Really?" Sayid said.

"Yes you are a smart, sweet, sexy man and Shannon likes you. Do something nice for her. I have no clue what, just something. Be creative."

"Creative," Sayid repeated. "What did Sawyer do for you?" Sayid asked.

"You would have to know a lot to know what it meant, You would have to know about me and Boone." She told him.

"Oh and I know none of it."

"No." Natalie said.

"What happened?"

"What you have to understand about me and Boone is we were in love once but that was a long time ago. What we had on this island it wasn't love no matter what we said." Natalie began. "And after the first year what you have to understand is Boone wasn't fully with me. I mean he was with me, but he wasn't with me.' She added. "Do you understand?"

"I think so," Sayid said. "Boone was with you physically but mentally he was with Shannon."

"Exactly," Natalie said nodding her head.

"So what happened?" Sayid asked and Natalie sat down, Sayid sat by her.

"Boone called me Shannon one day after he kissed me and it wouldn't have mattered if that wasn't the reason I left the first time,."

"He called you Shannon more than once!" Sayid said surprised.

"Yeah he did and it was horrible and I even slept with Boone before he died and it was awful," she said.

"Really," Sayid said.

"Boon, he didn't even look at me the entire time, not once."

"Really?" Sayid said softly. "And Sawyer."

"I don't believe I'm sitting here having this conversation with you." Natalie stated.

"If you don't want to talk about it it's ok."

"What you have to know about that day Boone and me slept together, it was Sawyer who picked the rocks out of my back, who cleaned my back and took care of me." She went on, "And for some reason Sawyer was who I ran to when Boone called me Shannon again."

"So Sawyer's taken care of you," Sayid said shocked. "It's obvious, that he's so different with you then he is with everyone else." Sayid said.

"Yeah I know and if everyone could see him like I do, they would like him to," she told him. "But he doesn't want anyone to like him." Sayid pointed out.

"I know and I think that he thinks he deserves to be hated for all the bad things he's done in his life. I mean he does go out of his way to be hated."

"He does," Sayid agreed.

"I mean, I love Sawyer and I know I'll see him again."


	22. Friends?

**A/N: Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

A few days later Natalie was helping Sun in the garden when Shannon and Claire walked over.

"Hey," Shannon said. They both looked up.

"What is it?" Natalie asked.

"I found something on the beach," Claire told them and showed them the bottle with the messages in it.

"The bottle," Sun said.

"Do you think something happened to the raft?" Natalie asked worried.

"It could have," Sun said.

"What do you think we should do with it?" Shannon asked, "The both of you have a lot at stake on the raft."

"Sun what do you think?" Natalie asked.

"We should bury it, bury it and tell no one," Sun said. "Everyone's hopes were on that raft, its better they don't know. It could mean nothing."

"Ok I agree," Natalie said and they both stood up.

* * *

Natalie and Sun went together to bury the bottle.

"Do you think they're ok?" Natalie asked softly.

"Natalie," Sun said. "I'm sure they're fine."

"But something could have happened," she said.

"Maybe, but it's best if we don't worry about what we can't control," Sun told her.

"I guess you're right," Natalie said and she stood up. "I'll just see you later," she added and walked off.

* * *

On her way back to the beach Natalie ran into Jack.

"Natalie," he said and she looked up.

"Hi Jack," she said.

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned.

"I'm always ok," she answered. "So what are you up to? Going back to the hatch?"

"Coming from the hatch actually," he told her and they started to walk to the beach together.

"It's going ok there then?" she asked.

"As well as it can go," Jack answered. "Don't worry about that," he told her. "So what have you been up to?"

"Just helping Sun," she told him.

"I know you and Sun seem to think that if you keep busy it'll keep your mind off Sawyer and Jin, but its not working is it?"

"No," she answered shaking her head. "Nothing works, I'm still going to miss him everyday when I wake up and every night when I go to bed," she admitted.

"I don't understand you and Sawyer at all, I'm not even going to pretend I do," he told her. "I can say one thing, we both know how I feel about Sawyer."

"Yes Jack everyone knows you hate each other," she said.

"Yeah I don't like him very much but he seemed to genuinely care about you. He also seemed to make you happy."

"He did."

"I know he'll be back, at least for you."

"I hope he comes back, I just hope they're all ok," Natalie said as they arrived on the beach.

"I'm sure they're fine," Jack told her.

* * *

Natalie was sitting on the sand looking out at the ocean when someone sat beside her, she looked over.

"Sayid," she said.

"Hello Natalie," he said.

"What are you doing sitting here all by yourself?" he asked.

"Thinking," she said.

"What about?" he asked and she laughed.

"Sawyer would have told me to stop thinking because it would give me a headache."

"Sounds like something he would say," Sayid smiled. "Thinking about Sawyer again aren't you?"

"Yeah I am. I shouldn't miss him as much as I do. I haven't even known him that long and I've managed to fall in love."

"That happens sometimes," Sayid told her.

"Yeah I guess it does," she said. "He should have been the last guy I fell in love with."

"But everything with Boone was just to forget about him wasn't it?"

"No, I did love Boone," she told him.

"But you were after Sawyer since the moment you saw him."

"No I wasn't after him," Natalie said smiling. "I was very attracted to him and I found him incredibly sexy, but I wasn't after him."

"Whatever you say," Sayid said.

"You don't believe me."

"Of course I do," he said. "I have one question though."

"What?" she asked looking over at him.

"Why Sawyer?" he asked. "You picked him out of everyone else on this island."

"You can't pick who you fall in love with. You don't honestly believe I saw him and said, oh he's really hot, I can fall in love with him?"

"No I don't," he said with a smile. "You did choose to spend a lot of time with him when Jack and other people told you that you'd be wasting your time."

"I did, but did you think that maybe I saw something no one else did."

"Like what?" he asked curiously.

"Some one who needed a friend, a guy who needed someone that wouldn't back down when he pushed them away," she told him. "When he realized I wasn't going to leave him alone he started letting me hang around."

"You are really stubborn," he stated.

"Thank you," she replied and he laughed.

"Its just Sawyer's a different person when he's with you."

"Maybe the person he is with me is who he really wants to be, but he's afraid to be that person. The person he lost so many years ago before he set out on a quest for revenge."

"Revenge?" Sayid asked.

"That's a story better saved for Sawyer's return. I don't think he wants me telling you his life story."

"You're probably right."

"So how's everything going with you and Shannon?" Natalie asked.

"It's good actually," Sayid told her.

"That's good," Natalie said.

* * *

"Jack!" Natalie called out the next morning when she saw him heading out. He stopped and turned around.

"What is it Natalie?" he asked as she came running up to him.

"I want to go with you," she said.

"Natalie, stay here," he told her.

"Jack please, I'm going crazy staying here. Let me go with you to the hatch," she said.  
"Please." She added.

"Natalie," Jack sighed.

"Maybe I can help out in some way," she said.

"Fine," Jack said. "Come on." He added and she followed him to the hatch.

When she got inside Natalie looked around amazed at what she saw. She walked over to the computer and looked at it. Then looked up at a clock that was counting down.

"Hi Natalie." She turned around.

"Oh hi John," she said. "What is this about?"

"Every 108 minutes we have to enter a code into the computer."

"What?" she asked and John explained about Desmond, the computer and code.

"So what happens if you don't enter the code?" Natalie asked.

"I don't know but I don't want to find out," John said.

"It could be nothing."

"But what if it is?" John asked.

"You do what you have to do," Natalie said.

* * *

Natalie was walking back from the hatch when she ran into Sayid.

"Where have you been?" Sayid asked curiously.

"At the hatch," she answered.

"So what do you think?" he asked.

"Its strange, this whole place is strange," she said. "Who knows how long the hatch has been here, I mean it all sounds like some strange experiment. Enter a code into the computer every 108 minutes, it all sounds so bizarre. Like an experiment just to see if you would do it."

"Yeah it does," Sayid agreed. "But John believes it."

"Yeah I know, but I'm not sure if I believe if entering a code in a computer is going to change anything."

"Well, we'll never really know I guess."

"Guess not," Natalie replied.

* * *

Natalie spent most of her time since Sawyer left, talking to Sayid. Of everyone on the island she connected with him most. He was in love with Shannon and Natalie knew that but she didn't think of Sayid that way anyway. Sayid was someone she could talk to about Sawyer, how much she missed him. He listened and never pretended to understand her relationship. Natalie thought that Sayid probably understood her relationship with Sawyer better than anyone else though.

Sayid and Natalie were sitting together on the beach talking again. Natalie confessed her fear that something had happened to Sawyer.

"I just can't shake the feeling that something's happened to him. He's not ok and I have no clue where he is."

"Natalie I'm sure he's fine," Sayid said softly. "You know Sawyer, he always bounces back."

"I know," she said. "But I just have a really bad feeling." She added and they were quiet.

"Shannon doesn't like me," Natalie said breaking the silence.

"Why do you say that?"

"The way she's looking at me," she said and Sayid turned to look and shrugged.

"She doesn't think I would try and come between you two does she?"

"I don't think so."

"I wouldn't do that."

"I know you wouldn't," Sayid said.

* * *

Natalie was walking back from the beach when she heard someone call out.

"Natalie," Natalie stopped and turned around it was Shannon.

"Hi," Natalie said.

"What's going on with you and Sayid?" she asked harshly.

"Nothing," Natalie answered. "Shannon, I promise nothing is going on, we just talk that's all."

"About what?" Shannon asked as if she didn't believe her. Natalie let out a frustrated sigh, She never liked Shannon.

"Sawyer," she answered.

"Oh," Shannon said. "You must miss him," she said her tone changing.

"Yeah, I do. A lot," she told him.

"Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to sound so mean. I guess I always come across as bitchy and self-centered."

"Yeah you do," Natalie agreed.

"Its just Sayid believes in me, kind of like the way you did with Sawyer." Shannon admitted and Natalie nodded. "No one's ever treated me like he has."

"Shannon, I promise I'm not interested in Sayid as anything more than a friend."

"Ok," Shannon said nodding and they were both quiet, Shannon turned to walk away.

"Shannon wait."

"What?" Shannon asked.

"We're both adults so don't you think its time we put everything that happened with Boone behind us?" she asked. Shannon looked at her.

"Maybe," Shannon said. "You mean like maybe we could be friends?" Shannon asked.

"Maybe," Natalie said. "One thing both of us need."

"You're right." Shannon agreed.


	23. Just talking

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews. This chapter is shorter than most of my chapters. Not much happens but it sets up stuff for later chapters. I hope you enjoy it anyway.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

The next day Shannon and Natalie were sitting on the beach talking to each other.

"No one understands me and Sawyer," Natalie said. "Jack can't stand him." Natalie added. "It's hard to be with a guy my brother hates, because Jack's opinion has always been important to me as I was growing up. Jack's been there when no one else has. He's been right about most things and Jack will never like Sawyer and Sawyer will never like Jack."

"They may never like each other but maybe they can accept each other. I mean Jack knows you won't change your mind about Sawyer and Sawyer knows you won't walk away from your brother." Shannon said.

"I really hope they can, they may say they can but I wonder if they really can."

"Guess you'll never know that until it happens," Shannon told her.

"You're right." Natalie agreed.

"So has Jack gotten used to the idea of you and Sawyer at all?" Shannon asked.

"I think he is, he said he noticed how different he was with me and that he made me happy."

"Well at least he noticed Sawyer treated you pretty good."

"Yeah I think it was after Sawyer beat Scott up and everything came out about Scott raping me."

"Yeah we all saw that, the way he was looking at Scott and then the way he just sort of turned everything off to go over and check on you."

"I don't know what I would have done without him," Natalie confessed as Sayid walked over. He looked at Natalie and Shannon curiously.

"What are you two up to?"

"Nothing," Natalie answered.

"Just talking." Shannon added.

"Ok," Sayid said slowly.

"I'll go and see you later ok," Natalie told Shannon.

"Alright," Shannon said and Natalie stood up and left.

"Ok, you two are the last two people I expected to see talking to each other."

"Well we're going to try to get along, we really don't have any reason to not get along. Boone was the reason we didn't get along."

"Boone," Sayid said. "The fact that he was in love with you."

"Yes, I think she hated me for that, Boone tried to convince her he didn't, but I think she knew the truth though."

"I'm sure she did, she's not stupid." Sayid said.

"No, she's not." Shannon agreed. "But I say we've talked enough about Natalie," Shannon added and she slid her arms around his neck.

"I agree," Sayid sighed and he brought his lips to hers and kissed her.

* * *

Shannon and Natalie started spending time together talking to each other. Each of them thought it felt good to have another girl to talk to about the men in their lives, their fear of never getting off this island and what could happen to them if they didn't. Everyone though it was strange at first that two people who didn't like each other at first were now talking like they had been friends for years, but after a few days they got used to it and forgot all about it. Today Natalie was sitting alone, reading the letter Sawyer had written to her to tell her he loved her.

"Hey there you are," Shannon said and she sat down next to her.

"Hi," Natalie replied putting the letter away.

"Is everything ok?" Shannon asked.

"Yeah, its fine." Natalie said. "I was just reading the letter Sawyer wrote before he left on the raft."

"Oh," Shannon said.

"He could never say he loved me, so Rose told him he should write a letter saying it until the day he could say it." Natalie told her.

"Oh wow, Did he um.."

"Yeah he did before he left on the raft, he told me he loved me."

"Amazing." Shannon said.

"Yeah it is," Natalie agreed.

* * *

A few minutes later Shannon left and Natalie was alone again, but not for long.

"You know, you and Shannon are the last people I expected to see getting along," Sayid said as he sat down next to her.

"I kind of figured that out from the look you gave us the other day," Natalie said.

"Well I was kind of shocked to see you two together, talking." Sayid admitted.

"Its good to have someone to talk to about what's going through your head," Natalie told him. "Not that I don't like talking to you because I do," Natalie added.

"Do you really?" he asked.

"Yeah I do," Natalie said.

"Good I'm glad because I feel the same way," Sayid said and she smiled.

"Thank you though for everything," Natalie said. "For listening to me talk about how much I love a guy you hate."

"Well you've listened to me talk about Shannon."

"I still don't get you two, but I don't have to," Natalie said. "As long as you're both happy together then ok."

"We are happy," Sayid told her.


	24. Reunions

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

The next day Shannon and Natalie were walking along the beach.

"Sayid and I are going to spend the day together today." She said. "I'm on my way to meet him now."

"You sound nervous," Natalie said.

"I actually really like him and you know I don't want to mess things up." She told her.

"You're not going to mess things up, don't worry so much."

"Messing things up is what I do," Shannon told her. "You know this is one time I don't want to."

"Don't think about it so much, Sayid likes you or he wouldn't be around you."

"You're right," She said. "I hope so at least."

* * *

Later on as Natalie was sitting on the beach, she looked over and saw Jin walking over with people she didn't recognize, She didn't see Sawyer anywhere with him. People started walking over and welcoming him back and Natalie got up and ran over. She stopped in front of Jin.

"Sawyer," she said. "Where's Sawyer?"

"Jack," was what Jin said.

"He's with Jack!" Natalie said panicked. "Jack!" she said again. If Sawyer was with Jack it couldn't be good, she knew something was wrong with him.

"Yes he's with Jack," a woman said, Natalie turned to her.

"Is he ok?"

"Are you Natalie?" she asked

"Yeah I am, is Sawyer ok?" Natalie asked panicked.

"I don't know, he's been shot."

"Shot!" Natalie exclaimed and ran off. Sawyer had to be at the hatch.

* * *

Natalie finally made her way to the hatch and she slipped inside. She saw Jack trying to take care of Sawyer. She wanted to go over there and help but she knew she'd just be in Jack's way. Sawyer was mumbling, he sounded delirious.

"I love her," she heard him say.

"Natalie," Jack said.

"Kate," Sawyer said, Natalie bumped into something and Jack looked over and saw her.

"Natalie," he said and she walked over, he stood up and she looked up at him.

"He doesn't know what he's saying right now ok," Jack told her and she nodded. "He's going to be happy to see you when he's better."

"Yeah ok," she said. "Go do your job Jack, I'll get out of your way."

Natalie wandered around the hatch and she saw a man she had never saw before. He was a big guy.

"Hello," Natalie whispered and he looked at her.

"Hello," the guy replied.

"Who are you?"

"I'm Eko," he said. "I brought Sawyer back."

"I'm Natalie," Natalie replied.

"You're Natalie," Eko said and she nodded.

"What happened?" Natalie asked Eko as she sat down on the couch. He walked over and sat beside her.

"He was shot when we found him," Eko said. "Michael kept telling him he had to stay alive to get back to Natalie, that Natalie expected him to come back to her."

"Thank you for bringing him back," Natalie said tears in her eyes.

"You're welcome," Eko said and Natalie stood up and left.

Natalie walked back through the jungle thinking about what she just heard Sawyer say. Maybe Sawyer really did love Kate, she knew for a fact that he liked her at one time. She was confused now, Jack told her he didn't know what he was saying right now. She hoped he was right.

* * *

The next day Sayid approached Natalie as she was sitting on the beach.

"Hi," he said and sat down next to her.

"Are you alright?" Natalie asked concerned.

"Shannon," Sayid said sadly.

"What happened to Shannon?" Natalie asked.

"She was shot, she's gone," Sayid said and Natalie covered her mouth with her hand.

"I'm so sorry Sayid," Natalie told him and she wrapped her arms around him and laid her head on his chest.

* * *

It had been a few days since Sawyer arrived back and he hadn't said one word to Natalie. He had been spending a lot of time with Kate. Natalie thought maybe he didn't want to be around her anymore, maybe something happened while he was gone. But Eko's word's kept running through her head_. "Michael kept telling him he had to stay alive to get back to Natalie, that Natalie expected him to come back to her."_ Natalie had been spending a lot of time with Sayid, who was still grieving over Shannon. Once again today Sawyer was with Kate, she had even given him a haircut yesterday. Natalie watched them talk from her spot on the beach. Rose, who had been reunited with her husband recently walked over to her.

"Hey honey," she said and Natalie looked over. "Have you even talked to him since he returned?"

"No," Natalie answered. "He's been to busy with Kate."

"So that doesn't mean anything," Rose told her.

"What if it does? What if he's moved on?" she asked.

"You'll never know that if you don't talk to him." Rose told her.

About twenty minutes had passed and Natalie was still standing in the same spot. Sayid walked over to her now.

"Why don't you just talk to him?" he asked and she turned around.

"How are you doing?" Natalie asked.

"I'm ok," he answered. "I buried Shannon."

"Sayid, I'm sorry you had to do that alone," she said softly, laying her hand on his shoulder. "I would have went with you, but you probably wanted to be alone."

"I did," Sayid said as Natalie pushed a stray hair that had fallen in his face away. "You should talk to Sawyer." He said softly taking her hand in his.

"I don't want to make a fool of myself again," she said looking down. Sayid let go of her hand and placed his hand under her chin. She looked up at him.

"Talk to him." Sayid told her. "If you really love him."

"I do," she told Sayid.

"Then why not talk to him?"

"What if he's moved on or changed his mind about me?"

"Well at least you'll know if you talk to him," Sayid pointed out.

"Ok." She agreed. "Are you going to be ok?" she asked.

"I'll be fine," he answered and she nodded.

"If you need to talk or anything," Natalie said

"Thanks but I'm ok," Sayid said.

* * *

"What are you so interested in over there?" Kate asked Sawyer and she looked and saw Natalie and Sayid.

"Natalie," Kate said. "Have you even talked to her?"

"No," Sawyer answered. "But it looks like she's moved on without me."

"Sayid?" Kate said shocked. "No way, there's nothing there."

Natalie looked over to Sawyer and Kate and took a deep breath, might as well get it over with. She made her way over and stopped in front of Sawyer.

"Hi," she said and Sawyer looked at her.

"I need to go," Kate said and she left. Sawyer said nothing.

"Sawyer are you going to say anything at all?" Natalie asked him, he was quiet still, he just stared at her. "James," she said and he smiled. "I missed you."

"I missed you to," he whispered so low she barely heard him. She smiled.

"How are you feeling? You didn't look so good when you first got back."

"I'm much better," he told her.

"Good," she said.

"Natalie," he said and she looked up at him. "I love you," he whispered. She smiled.

"I love you," she told him and took a step closer to him and he kissed her.

"I want to hear about what happened while you were gone," Natalie said. "I want to know how you got shot."

"That could take a while," Sawyer told her.

"Well I'm not going anywhere," she said and he looked at her and smiled. "Come on," Natalie said and she took his hand in hers and led him away.

When she stopped they were in the place she used to live. Sawyer pulled her to him and kissed her again, Natalie leaned into him and wrapped her arms around his neck as his hands rested on her waist.

"I want to talk to you," Natalie said pulling away. "We can do this later, I promise." Sawyer nodded and sat down, Natalie sat down next to him. "Tell me what happened"

"Ok well I got shot not long after we left. We sailed out and we met a boat, they kidnapped Walt and shot me, I was trying to save Walt. They blew up the raft." He said. "Michael blamed me for Walt's kidnapping."

"Why would he do that?"

"I was the one who said we should signal the boat down," Sawyer told her.

"Its still not your fault," Natalie told him laying her hand on top of his. "You were trying to save him."

"Anyway a shark swam up, attracted by my blood in the water and tried to smash what Michael and I called a raft. There were some pontoons floating in the water a few yards ahead of us, we couldn't paddle over to it with that shark swimming nearby, But it was our only chance, I gave the gun to Michael and I dove in the ocean I used my good arm to pull to the pontoon. I guess the shark was behind me. Michael shot the shark and allowing me to reach the pontoon ."

"Oh my god!" Natalie said. "You could have died, you risked your life diving into the ocean after you had been shot!" she added almost yelling. "What if Michael hadn't been able to shoot the shark and you died?" she asked almost in tears. "What if Michael accidentally shot you instead."

"I'm fine though,' he told her wiping her tears away with her thumbs. "Anyway the next morning we woke up and were on the other side of the island. Jin was there and there were people on the other side. We thought they were the others but turns out they were in the tail section of the plane." He went on. "Basically they decided to come to this side of the island and we all headed this way and I don't remember much else." He told her. "I do remember Michael telling me I promised to come back to you so I couldn't die," he said and Natalie smiled.

"You were close to dying," Natalie whispered. "I saw you, I talked to Eko."

"Lets not think about that now though, ok." He said and she nodded.

"Do you know who shot Shannon?" Natalie asked.

"Someone shot Shannon!" Sawyer said shocked.

"Yeah, Sayid told me she had been shot, her and Sayid have been spending a lot of time around each other after you left."

"I don't know, probably Ana Lucia," Sawyer told her and Natalie nodded.

"I'm just so glad your ok," Natalie told him touching his face. Sawyer covered her hand with his and Natalie leaned over and kissed him. She straddled his lap and ran her hands through his hair and then leaned towards him to kiss him again. Sawyer laid his hands on her thighs and Natalie slapped them.

"Why the hell did you do that for?" Sawyer asked.

"You can't touch me," Natalie whispered.

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"You can't touch me until I say so," Natalie whispered in his ear.

"Oh," Sawyer said. "I don't know if I'll like this game or not. I don't like not touching you." Natalie smiled and kissed his lips.

"Don't worry baby, you'll love this game," she told him and she placed kisses along his neck, Sawyer reached out to touch her and Natalie slapped his hands.

"Damn," Sawyer said.

"James, I told you not until I say so," Natalie teased

"Can't blame me for trying," Sawyer said as he ran his hands down her sides and Natalie slapped his hands again.

"Damn it!" Sawyer said and Natalie stood up.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Just right here," she told him and she kicked her shoes off. She had on a button down shirt and shorts on. Natalie stood in front of Sawyer and slowly undid the buttons until the shirt was open and Sawyer saw her black lace bra. Natalie slid the shirt off and it fell to the ground. Then she undid her shorts and slid them off and she was standing in front of Sawyer in nothing but her bra and panties. She slowly walked over to him. She leaned over and kissed him and then pulled his shirt off.

"Stand up," Natalie told him and he did. She undid his jeans and pushed them down to the ground. "Ok sit back down," Natalie told him.

"What?" he asked.

"Sit down," Natalie said giving him a small push and she sat back down and she straddled his lap. She placed gentle kisses along his neck and his chest, she slid down his body placing kisses on his stomach. She then sat up on his lap. Sawyer ran his hands up and down her sides.

"James," she said.

"I can't not touch you," he said as his arms wrapped around her and undid her bra. "Natalie," he whispered as he gently moved her off his lap and pushed her to the ground and moved on top of her. Natalie looked up at him and he smiled and started to kiss down her body like she had just done to him earlier.

"James," she moaned as she arched her back to be closer to him. ."James, I don't think I can wait any longer," she whispered.

"Me either, it was killing me to wait this long," he admitted and he kissed her lips and what little clothes they had on ended up on the ground.

* * *

Natalie rolled over and looked at Sawyer, she rested her chin on his bare chest.

"You awake," she asked.

"You really think I'd be asleep after that?" he asked and he looked at her.

"I love you," Natalie said.

"I love you to," Sawyer said.

"Should we get dressed and head back?" Natalie asked.

"Do we have to?"

"I don't want to," Natalie told him tracing circles on his arm with her finger.

"So lets not go," he said.

"I can live with that, then I won't have to share you with anyone else," Natalie said and she kissed him. And then crawled on top of him.

"I swear, you have more energy than any woman I've ever been with," Sawyer said.

"Is that a bad thing?" she asked.

"No definitely not," Sawyer said and he leaned up and kissed her.

"I could just lay here with you all day," Natalie told him. And she leaned down and kissed him again. "You think you can handle me again?" Natalie teased.

"Oh yeah," Sawyer said and he rolled her over and Natalie looked up at him.

"I love you so much," Sawyer said.

"Yeah I know, how could you not," Natalie said and she smiled at his expression. "I love you to though," she told him.

"Good," he said and kissed her stomach.

"I love you," Sawyer whispered.

* * *

Sawyer looked at Natalie.

"Are you awake?" he asked.

"Yeah," she sighed.

"We have to get back to the beach now," Sawyer said

"We have to," Natalie said and he nodded "You're right," she said and they sat up and started to get dressed.

* * *

Sawyer and Natalie made their way back to the beach. They met Jack as they were heading back.

"Jack," Natalie said and Jack looked at the two of them.

"I was wondering where you got off to," Jack said. "But I should have known you'd be with him."

"Yeah I've been with Sawyer," Natalie said.

"Feeling better I see," Jack said looking at Sawyer.

"Yeah Doc, much better."

"Jack," Natalie said looking at him. "Not now ok."

"Fine Natalie," Jack said and stormed off. Natalie just shrugged and her and Sawyer continued on their way to the beach.


	25. Are you Happy?

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. The song in this chapter is Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

"He still doesn't like the fact that we're together does he," Sawyer asked as they walked down the beach.

"Don't worry about that today," Natalie said and they sat down. "Jack worries to much, I can take care of myself. But he's my brother and I guess its his job. But I worry about him to though."

"Of course you do," Sawyer said.

"The same way I worry about you," She told him as Sayid walked by. Natalie looked up at him and smiled, he smiled back slightly but walked on.

"Is there something going on with you and him?" Sawyer asked.

"No, No," Natalie said. "We talked a lot after you left and he's been taking Shannon's death hard, he really did love her and she actually had genuine feelings for him to."

"How do you know about their feelings for each other?" he asked curiously.

"Well believe it or not Shannon and I were actually getting along, started to talk a lot."

"Unbelievable," Sawyer sighed and Natalie leaned against him.

"In a way we had a lot in common," Natalie said. "I'm glad to have you back," Natalie added.

"I'm glad to be back," Sawyer said.

"There was a moment there in the hatch when Jack was working hard to save you, that I thought I had lost you," Natalie admitted.

"There was a moment when I thought I had lost you to," Sawyer said.

"I knew something had happened to you, I could feel it. I think everyone thought I was crazy."

"I'm sure they didn't."

"They did, I saw they looks I got, the only person who didn't think I was crazy was Sayid," she told him.

"Oh," Sawyer said.

"He told me you were fine, that you always bounce back," Natalie said. "I realized he was right, you do always bounce back and you wouldn't just leave me."

"Never," Sawyer said and he kissed her.

* * *

Later that day Natalie found Jack at the hatch.

"We need to talk Jack," she said.

"Yeah we do," he agreed.

"I know you don't approve of me and Sawyer," she said.

"I'm never going to like him," Jack told her.

"Well then I guess it's a good thing I didn't ask you to then isn't it?" she said.

"Natalie…"

"I know you're never going to like him Jack and that's fine you don't have to like Sawyer, just the same way he doesn't have to like you. I don't expect you two to like each other," she told him.

"Natalie, I just want you to be careful and take care of yourself."

"I am Jack. But you storm off every time you see me and Sawyer together, I just thought you'd be used to the idea that I'm with him by now."

"I don't know if I'll ever get used to it," Jack admitted.

"Jack," Natalie sighed and ran her fingers through her hair. "You're my brother, you're family and I love you," she told him. "I love Sawyer to and there have been times when I don't know what I would have done without him."

"Natalie are you happy?" Jack asked. "Does he make you happy?"

"Yes Jack I'm happy, Sawyer makes me very happy," She said smiling.

"Ok that's all that matters then.," Jack said. "Natalie," Jack said taking her hand in his. "We're family and I love you no matter what," Jack told her as a beeping sound started.

"I'll go," Natalie said and Jack nodded and she left.

* * *

As Natalie walked backed to the beach she ran into Ana Lucia. She hadn't officially met Ana Lucia yet but she knew who she was.

"Hi," Natalie said

"Hi," Ana Lucia said. "So you're Natalie," Ana Lucia said.

"Yeah and you're Ana Lucia," Natalie said looking at her.

"Yeah," Ana Lucia said. "I wondered what you look like, to make Sawyer want to get back to you."

"Whatever," Natalie said and she walked away.

* * *

Natalie walked back to the beach and found Sawyer in the same place she left him.

"Hey," she said.

"Hi," Sawyer replied as she sat down. "Where did you go?"

"I went to talk to Jack," she told him.

"Oh, did it go ok?"

"Yeah actually it did," she told him. "I ran into Ana Lucia."

"Oh," was all Sawyer said.

"Jack asked me if I was happy, if you made me happy," Natalie told him.

"What did you tell him?"

"That you did," she told him. "I told him you made me very happy."

"Good," Sawyer said. "I'm glad I make you happy."

"I haven't been this happy in a long time," Natalie said and she scooted closer to him. She looped her arm through his and laid her head on his shoulder. "I'm glad you're back even if we are still stuck on this island," she added. "This place is a lot better with my best friend here," she whispered and Sawyer smiled.

"Thanks but I hope I'm more than just you're best friend," Sawyer said.

"You know you are."

The next morning when Natalie woke up she looked over and saw that Sawyer was still asleep next to her. She smiled at how different he looked when he was sleeping; vulnerable and almost innocent, something Sawyer wasn't.

"Sleepy head," she muttered and kissed him lightly on the forehead. She then got up and went to gather her clothes and decided she might as well try to get her clothes as clean as she can. After gathering her clothes she walked over and joined Rose who was already washing and hanging clothes up.

"Morning Rose," Natalie said.

"Good morning Natalie," Rose said as Natalie dropped her clothes on the ground. Have you met my husband Bernard?"

"No I haven't," Natalie said looking over at Bernard. "Its nice to meet you Bernard," Natalie said holding her hand out.

"You to," Bernard said. "So you're Natalie, Sawyer's Natalie."

"Yes," Natalie said nodding and she smiled at him.

"You're not what I pictured," Bernard admitted.

"I don't think I'm what most people picture when they think of Sawyer," Natalie told him. "Its alright."

"Well it was nice to meet you, I'm going to go take a walk," Bernard told Rose and he kissed Rose before leaving.

Natalie began to wash her clothes, Rose looked over at her and smiled.

"How have you been doing?" Rose asked.

"I'm good," Natalie answered.

"I see you did finally talk to Sawyer," Rose said and Natalie nodded. "Is he ok after everything that happened?"

"Yes he is, thanks for asking," Natalie said. "He's still sleeping now." She added. "I didn't know what to think when I saw him after Eko brought him back. He was laying in the hatch and Jack was trying to save him, hoping he could save him. He looked horrible."

"Jack's a good doctor," Rose told Natalie as they hung clothes up on a line they had hung up.

"He's a great doctor, a good person and the best big brother anyone could ever have," Natalie sighed. "I'm glad I have him."

"I know you are honey," Rose smiled.

"But you know Jack doesn't like Sawyer and it makes it so hard being with him," Natalie admitted. "I love Sawyer so much, but Jack's family." She added and Rose nodded. "Its just Sawyer, Well…no guy has ever treated me like that, you know taken care of me, especially after all the stuff that happened."

"And we all know Sawyer probably doesn't do that often," Rose said and Natalie nodded. "We all saw what he did to Scott."

"I know," Natalie sighed reaching down and grabbing a shirt.

"He's taken good care of you and treated you well,"

"Yes he has." Natalie told her.

"He loves you, you know that."

"Yeah I know, I have a letter, thanks for that by the way," Natalie said and smiled at her.

"You're very welcome."

"He also said it before he sailed away."

"Good, I'm glad you seem so happy," Rose told her and they were both quiet as they continued to do laundry.

Natalie started to hum softly to herself as she was hanging clothes up. Then she started to sing softly, Greatest Love of All by Whitney Houston.

"I believe the children are our are future, Teach them well and let them lead the way. Show them all the beauty they possess inside, Give them a sense of pride to make it easier Let the children's laughter remind us how we used to be. Everybody's searching for a hero, People need someone to look up to I never found anyone who fulfill my needs, A lonely place to be. So I learned to depend on me. I decided long ago, never to walk in anyone's shadows. If I fail, if I succeed At least I'll live as I believe. No matter what they take from me They can't take away my dignity.  
Because the greatest love of all Is happening to me, I found the greatest love of all Inside of me. The greatest love of all, Is easy to achieve Learning to love yourself It is the greatest love of all," Natalie softly sang.

Meanwhile Sawyer had woken up and saw Natalie was gone and he wondered where she went. He got up and looked around and saw her with Rose. He got up and decided to make his way over there. As Sawyer got closer he heard Natalie softly singing and smiled. He had only heard her sing once, but he liked her voice and wanted to hear her sing for him. Natalie just finished hanging her last pair of shorts up when she felt a pair of strong arms circle her waist. Natalie smiled knowing immediately it was Sawyer and she leaned back against him and placed her hand over his hands.

"You finally decide to wake up," she teased.

"Good morning to you to," Sawyer said. And Natalie turned around to face him and he leaned down and kissed her. "If you were doing laundry you should have told me, you could have done mine."

"You can do your own laundry, I'm not your maid," Natalie told him and smirked up at him.

"I think I've been a bad influence on you, you used to be a lot nicer to me," he said and she shrugged. "I heard you singing," he added.

"Yeah I was singing."

"You know I like to hear you sing," he said.

"No I didn't, you've only heard me sing once," she told him.

"Yes but that was enough to know I like to hear you sing," he said and she smiled. "If you're done here, want to take a walk?"

"Yeah, I just finished," she said and he nodded unwrapping his arms from around her waist and taking her hand in his. "Bye Rose, I'll be back later," she told her.

"Alright, have a nice walk," Rose said.

"We will," Sawyer and Natalie said.


	26. We all know I'm perfect

A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I tried to update sooner but my computer wouldn't let me. The song in this chapter is You've got a way by Shania Twain.

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

**

* * *

**

"Is there anything you wanted or did you just want to walk?" Natalie asked.

"I just wanted to walk with you," Sawyer said.

"Alright," Natalie replied and they walked in silence for a while.

"Did you have a nice talk with Rose?"

"Yeah I did," Natalie answered.

"You two talk about anything interesting?" he asked curiously.

"Just, you and Jack," Natalie told him.

"Anything I should know?"

"Not really, its nothing you don't already know."

"Oh alright," Sawyer sighed and they continued to walk.

* * *

On their way back to Sawyer's tent Natalie told Sawyer to stop so she could get her clothes.

"It won't take long," Natalie told him as they walked over. "Hey do me a favor."

"What?" Sawyer asked.

"Hold out your arms like this," Natalie said and she held her arms out in front of her with her palms up. Sawyer looked at her confused but did what she asked anyway.

"Perfect," Natalie said smiling as she looked at him.

"We all know I'm perfect Shortcake," Sawyer smirked and Natalie shook her head and smiled. She then started to gather her clothes, throwing them over Sawyer's outstretched arms.

"Hey!" he exclaimed. "I'm not some kind of clothes rack."

"Sawyer," she said. "James," she said sweetly as she walked to stand right in front of him. "Please."

"Oh you won't wash my clothes but I have to carry yours," he said looking at the clothes laid over his arms.

"Please," she said sweetly. "My clothes are clean."

"So"

"You carry my clothes, I'll help with yours, You have to wash them but I'll hang them up."

"I don't know,' Sawyer teased.

"James, I'll make it up to you," she whispered running her finger across his cheek and then over his lips. He leaned down and kissed her.

"You better," he said.

"I'll let you do things to me later," she teased.

"Oh I like to do things to you," he said smiling. "Ok get your clothes," he said.

"Thank you," Natalie said and she finished throwing her clothes over his arms.

"I wouldn't do this for anyone you know."

"You better not."

* * *

When Sawyer and Natalie returned to his tent she folded her clothes up and stacked them. Sawyer watched her as she neatly stacked her clothes, then she walked over and sat down by him. Natalie looked over at him.

"Why are you staring at me?"

"I like to watch you," he said.

"You do," Natalie said and he nodded. "So do you like to watch me all the time or just at certain times?"

"Oh I could watch you all the time," he said and she smiled. "I like to watch you sleep," he admitted. "Why do you think I never woke you up if I'm up before you," he told her and Natalie tucked her hair behind her ears and smiled, she understood completely. She liked to watch him sleep as well, he looked so different when he was asleep, vulnerable, peaceful.

"It doesn't bore you to watch me sleep?"

"No," he answered. "You look peaceful when you sleep. I wondered what you were dreaming about," he sighed. "Before when we were just getting to know each other and you were deciding if you wanted to be with Boone or not, This was before the caves," he told her. "Anyway I would wake up in the middle of the night and see you sleeping and wonder what you were dreaming about."

"You, sometimes," Natalie admitted, embarrassed and Sawyer chuckled slightly.

"There were nights when you were upset and scared and hanging around me a lot that I would barely sleep at all just so I'd know you were ok."

"I never knew that," Natalie said shocked.

"You weren't supposed to," he said and he leaned back and stretched his legs out in front of him.

Natalie looked over at him, she crawled into his lap, facing him. She slid her arms around his neck.

"How about that song now?" she asked.

"Really?" he asked surprised. "I was just kidding, you don't have to sing, even though I like to hear you sing."

"Ok then I'll sing," she said and she started to sing softly. "You've got a way with me, Somehow you got me to believe, In everything that I could be, I've gotta say, you really got a way." Sawyer couldn't take his eyes off of her. "You've got a way it seems, You gave me faith to find my dreams, You'll never know just what that means, Can't you see... you got a way with me. It's in the way you want me, It's in the way you hold me, The way you show me just what love's made of, It's in the way we make love. You've got a way with words, You get me smiling even when it hurts, There's no way to measure what your love is worth, I can't believe the way you get through to me. It's in the way you want me, It's in the way you hold me, The way you show me just what love's made of. It's in the way we make love." Natalie pressed her forehead to his and looked in his eyes. "Oh, how I adore you, Like no one before you, I love you just the way you are. It's in the way you want me, It's in the way you hold me, The way you show me just what love's made of, It's in the way we make love, I love you just the way you are."

Sawyer and Natalie just looked at each other for a few seconds neither one of them said anything. Sawyer finally gently touched his lips to hers. He smiled at her when he pulled away.

"Did you like it?" Natalie asked nervously.

"I loved it," Sawyer told her. "Did you mean it?"

"What?"

"Did you mean the words as you sang them or was it just a song that popped in your head?"

"Of course I meant the words as I sang them," Natalie told him.

"So you mean it when you say you love me the way I am?" he asked her, Natalie looked at him confused. He looked away.

"Of course I do, I wouldn't still be here with you if I didn't," Natalie told him. "Sawyer," Natalie said. "James," she said and touched his face. "Look at me," he did. "I love you," He smiled at her.

"I love you to," he told her and Natalie leaned down and kissed him. Sawyer kissed her back as he ran his hands up her legs and rested them on her hips. He tightened them on her hips and pulled her closer to him.

"Ow," Natalie said and Sawyer pulled away.

"Sorry," he apologized.

"Its ok, but you don't have to hold me so tight, I'm not going anywhere," she told him.

"I know," he sighed and he released his grip on her. "I didn't mean to hurt you, that's the last thing I want to do."

"I know," Natalie whispered and she kissed him a quick peck on the lips. "Stop apologizing," she told him and kissed him again. This time Sawyer didn't know what to do with his hands, he wanted to touch her but didn't want to hurt her again. Natalie pulled away.

"Its ok to touch me, you can put your hands on me, I need you to touch me." she whispered.

"Shortcake I…" he began but Natalie placed her finger over his lips.

"Shh," she said and then she took his hands in hers and placed them on her hips. "I won't break," she whispered and she ran her hands slowly up his arms and rested them on his shoulders. She leaned forward and her lips were inches away from his.

"Kiss me," she demanded and he did.

Jack walked by about this time and saw Natalie and Sawyer and walked over. He cleared his throat, they still continued to make out.

"Natalie," Jack said. "Natalie!" he said louder and she pulled away.

"Oh hi Jack," she said.


	27. The sexiest man on the Island

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

"We need to talk," Jack said.

"I'll be right back," she told Sawyer and she gave him a quick kiss on the lips and hopped off his lap and walked over to Jack. They started to walk down the beach.

"What?" Natalie asked.

"Are you sleeping with him?"

"That's none of your business."

"Natalie, are you having sex with Sawyer?"

"You have no right to ask me that, but yes I am."

"Natalie, Sawyer's just not the right guy for you."

"I love him Jack, I love him the way he is," Natalie told him.

"Natalie it's just…"

"Let me ask you a question," Natalie said.

"Ok."

"Would you be acting this way if it wasn't Sawyer I was with and it was Sayid or Charlie or Hurley?"

"That's not the point Natalie," he argued.

"Yeah it is, you're acting this way because its Sawyer."

"He's not good enough for you!"

"Jack," Natalie sighed frustrated. "Sawyer has treated me better than any other guy I've ever known and I thought that would be good enough for you." She said. "But apparently its not," she said throwing her hands up in the air. "You're by big brother and I love you, but I love Sawyer to."

"What if I wanted you to choose between me; your family and him?"

"I'd say you were being childish and I wouldn't do it," she told him crossing her arms over her chest. "I would be angry with you if you asked me to do that as well. I can't, I won't choose between the two men I care about the most on this island and you have no right to ask me to do that," she added angrily.

"Maybe not," Jack said. "But…"

"But nothing Jack you're being ridiculous," she told him.

"Of course I am," Jack said. "You know Sawyer and I will never get along."

"Well then it's a good thing I didn't ask you to isn't it," Natalie said and walked away.

* * *

"Everything ok?" Kate asked walking up to stand by Jack.

"Natalie's a little upset with me I think," Jack sighed frustrated. "I can't do anything right with her anymore."

"Sawyer," Kate said and Jack nodded. "What did you say?"

"I may have hinted at the fact to choose between me and Sawyer."

"You didn't?" Kate asked shocked and he nodded. "You can't do that to her, she's you're sister and she'll most likely always choose you because you're family, the only family she has left." Kate said. "But that means she's walking away from the man she loves because you asked her to, she's happy Jack, Sawyer makes her happy. She may walk away from Sawyer but she'll hate you for making her choose," Kate told him. "Not even Sawyer has asked her to choose between the two of you because he seems to understand she needs both of you," Kate told him and walked away.

* * *

Natalie was so frustrated after talking with Jack that she wasn't paying attention to where she was walking and suddenly she felt herself collide with someone else. Natalie fell backwards and expected to hit the ground any minute but she felt a pair strong arms circle her waist to stop her from falling, The person pulled her closer. She placed her hands on his chest and looked up.

"Sayid, I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

"I noticed," Sayid said. "Is everything ok?" he asked letting go of her.

"It will be," Natalie told him. "My brother's an idiot, but I knew that already."

"What happened?"

"He asked what I would do if he asked me to choose between him and Sawyer."

"Oh," Sayid said.

"How could he do that?" she asked angrily. "Why would he even think of asking me to do that?" she went on. "I just don't believe he even…." She fumed. "I need to stop thinking about it."

"You know that Jack is just looking out for you," Sayid told her.

"I know that, but I just. I need to calm down before I go back and talk to Sawyer," she told him. "I'll see you later," she told Sayid.

"Alright," Sayid said and she walked away.

Natalie continued walking to the beach to see Sawyer but she ran into Eko.

"Hello," she said.

"Natalie," he said.

"I'm not sure if I thanked you for bringing Sawyer back to me but thank you because I need him," she said.

"You are welcome," he said.

"Jack doesn't understand that though," she sighed. "He actually hinted at that fact that I need to choose between him and Sawyer. How can I do that?" she said.

"I don't know," Eko replied.

"I just don't know why Jack can't understand how I feel about Sawyer."

"Have you talked to him about it? Eko asked.

"Well yeah but he still, well him and Sawyer don't get along."

"I've noticed that Sawyer, he is different with you."

"He is." Natalie said. "I don't know what to do anymore."

* * *

Jack decided after talking with Kate that he would just talk to Sawyer himself. He walked over to Sawyer's tent expecting to see Natalie but she wasn't there yet. Which was good he wanted to talk to Sawyer alone.

"Sawyer," Jack said and he looked over.

"What do you want?" Sawyer asked.

"Natalie isn't back yet?" Jack asked.

"No," he answered.

"Good because we need to talk," Jack told him and Sawyer stood up.

"About what?"

"Natalie," Jack told him.

"Did something happen?" Sawyer asked alarmed.

"No she's fine," Jack said and Sawyer nodded. "I want you to break up with Natalie, stop whatever it is you two have going on."

"You want me to make the one person on this island that doesn't hate me, hate me?" Sawyer asked. "No."

"I figured you'd say that," Jack said. "But if you love Natalie like you say you do then you'll do what's best for her and end what you two have going on."

"I do love Natalie, but what you're asking me to do is hurt her and I can't do that."

"Yeah you can, you're really good at making people hate you if that's what you want," Jack told him. Sawyer glared at him.

"Sawyer, Natalie deserves…."

"You don't think I know I'm not really good enough for her, but she thinks I am and she loves me even after all the horrible stuff I've done and…"

"I know that you'll make the right decision," Jack said and walked away. Natalie saw him coming out of Sawyer's tent as she was walking up. He looked at her and walked away.

Natalie walked over to Sawyer.

"What did he want?" Natalie asked.

"Don't worry about it," Sawyer told her. "You ok?"

"Fine," Natalie answered and Sawyer leaned down and kissed her. Sawyer thought about what Jack said.

"We should talk."

"About what?" Natalie asked.

"Shortcake, maybe we should put an end to what we have going on."

"What!" Natalie exclaimed. "Why?"

"I'm just not…You deserve better." Sawyer sighed and plopped down. Natalie walked over to him and bent down.

"What's wrong with you?" She asked. "You were fine before I left, What did Jack say to you."

"It doesn't matter."

"You're right, it doesn't because we are not over," Natalie told him.

"Don't be so stubborn!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"I'm not being stubborn you're being an idiot!" she yelled and Sawyer looked at her.

"James, you say you love me."

"Maybe that's why I'm doing this."

"You love me so much you're breaking up with me and breaking my heart into a million pieces," Natalie said.

"Natalie," Sawyer whispered.

"Maybe you don't love me at all," Natalie said.

"Do you really believe that?"

"No," she answered. "Do you want to end what we have together?"

"No, of course not."

"Ok then, so don't." Natalie told him. "I love you," she said softly and laid her hand against his face.

"I love you to," he whispered and Natalie leaned forward and kissed him.

"Now," she said when she pulled away. "I'm going to kill Jack," she added and went to stand up but he grabbed her arm.

"Just forget about it," Sawyer told her.

"What!"

"I shouldn't have listened, just forget about it," Sawyer told her and she nodded. He let go of her arm.

"Are you ok?" she asked.

"Fine. I know one day you're going to regret you ever got involved with me."

"No I'm not, I won't." she told him.

"Sure you won't," he sighed.

"I'm still here with you, if I didn't want to be with you I wouldn't be here."

"I know that," Sawyer whispered.

"Sawyer, don't listen to Jack. I think you are good enough for me and I love you and that's all that matters." She told him and leaned over and kissed him. "Now I have something I need to take care of, so I'll be right back." She told him and he knew it would do no good to argue with her so he let her go.

* * *

Natalie went to look for Jack and she found him getting some water.

"JACK!" she yelled and he turned around. "Just what the hell is wrong with you!" she said upset.

"Natalie I…"

"How dare you try to get Sawyer to break up with me!" she yelled angrily. "Do my feelings not matter at all?"

"Natalie, Sawyer's not…"

"Jack I know you think Sawyer's not good enough for me but I love him and I think he is and you could just back off and leave us alone!" she said and then turned around and stormed off.

* * *

"Where did you go?" Sawyer asked when Natalie returned.

"To yell at Jack, I can't believe he even tried to get you to break up with me," Natalie said angrily.

"Well its over now and we can't do anything about it," he said and Natalie sat beside him.

"Well James, I thought you'd be more upset at what Jack tried to do or maybe you want to break up and that's why you're so calm about this," she said putting her hand on her hips.

"That's not true!" he exclaimed. "I don't want to loose you, does the fact that I love you mean nothing!"

"It means everything," she said softly laying her hand on his cheek. "I love you to," she added and she crawled into his lap. "There is no one I want more," she told him and kissed him.

"Natalie," Sawyer sighed. "Do you know what you do to me?" he asked.

"I would if you tell me," she teased.

"You drive me crazy," Sawyer smiled.

"But you love every single second of it," Natalie sighed.

"Oh yeah," Sawyer said. "I wouldn't have it any other way." Natalie smiled.

"Shortcake," he sighed. "I love you," he told her.

"I love you to," she said and leaned forward and kissed him.

"You're beautiful," Sawyer sighed running his fingers through her hair.

"And you're just sexy," Natalie told him.

"Sexy huh?" he asked raising his eyebrows.

"Oh hell yeah," Natalie said. "The sexiest man on this whole damn island," she said and kissed him.

"I like the sound of that," he told her.

"I thought you might," Natalie smiled and leaned forward and kissed him.


	28. What Sawyer did

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Natalie is walking along the beach, letting things run through her head, thinking about Sawyer and Jack and just what she was going to do if they couldn't get along, plus everything else that is going on. Jack and Locke had decided to lock up all the guns and medicine so only they know where they are. Sawyer didn't like this very much but there wasn't much else anyone could do about it. All of a sudden Natalie looked up and saw Kate and Sawyer, they were carrying Sun.

"What happened?" Natalie asked as they laid her down and everyone came over.

"We found her, she had a hood over her head," Sawyer said.

"Someone dragged her off," Kate said.

"You know who did this," Ana Lucia said. "The Others, there the only people that can do this." Everyone looked at Ana Lucia. "We should go after them."

"I think we should wait until Sun wakes up and see what she can tell us before we do anything," Locke said.

"I agree with John," Natalie said. "We should wait and see what Sun knows before we do anything irrational," she said looking at Ana Lucia.

* * *

Natalie is walking along the beach, hoping Sun is ok when she runs into Sayid.

"Sayid," Natalie said and he looked up at her. She sat down by him. "Is everything ok?"

"Yeah I'm fine," he sighed.

"What do you think about Sun? I mean do you think it was the Others?"

"It could've been, why would anyone here won't to hurt her?"

"I don't know, but I don't think the others would have just drug her off and left her, wouldn't they have taken her with them?"

"They might, I don't know, that makes sense." Sayid said.

"You're not ok," Natalie told him. "I know you miss Shannon, its expected and if you need someone to talk to."

"I know, thanks," Sayid told her as Sawyer walked up.

"There you are," Sawyer said.

"What is it?" Natalie asked. "Did Sun wake up?"

"Yeah but she doesn't remember anything, has no clue who drug her off."

"Oh well that sucks," Natalie sighed.

"Anyway, if you're ok I need to go talk to Locke," Sawyer said.

"Go on," Natalie said and Sawyer bent down and kissed her before he left.

"Since when does he talk to Locke?" Natalie asked confused.

"I have no clue," Sayid said.

"I know I shouldn't say this because I love him, but he's up to something and it can't be good."

"You're probably right," Sayid agreed.

"I wish there was something I could do to make you feel better," Natalie said laying her hand on top of his.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be ok," Sayid assured her.

"I know you will but until you're ok, if you want to talk about something," Natalie said. "I mean you were there for me when Sawyer sailed away on the raft."

"Yeah but he came back," Sayid pointed out.

"I know," she whispered. "I'm sorry."

"For what? You haven't done anything." Sayid said. "I just want everything to go away, the way I feel, I want it to go away."

"It gets better, you may not believe me now but I know it does. I know what its like to have someone you care about taken away from you and to feel like its your fault," she told him.

"Boone," Sayid said.

"No this was way before Boone. His name was David and we dated in high School," she told him. "And its my fault that he died because I was drunk and he was driving me home. If I had never been drunk it wouldn't have happened."

"It's not your fault, David dying is not your fault.

"Maybe not but you know what, Shannon getting shot is not your fault either, there was nothing you could have done," Natalie told him and he nodded and closed his eyes when he opened them Natalie saw tears running down his cheeks. She reached up and wiped them away with her thumbs.

"Everything will be ok somehow," she told him and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"I know," he sighed and laid his head against hers. After a few minutes Natalie looked over across the beach.

"What's going on over there? Natalie asked Sayid

"Let's go see," he said and they got up and walked over. Just as they got over there they saw Sawyer walk over with a gun over his shoulder. He looked at everyone.

"If anyone needs a gun, now they have to come to me," he said and he looked around and his eyes met Natalie's and he saw the disappointment in them. "There's a new sheriff in town boys, Y'all best get used to it," he drawled and walked away.

"I knew he was up to something, but I never imagined he would do this," Natalie said to Sayid. "Look at Locke and Jack's faces," she added and They saw the shocked look on both of their faces. "He played Jack and Locke against each other, he couldn't stand the idea of people liking him so he had to do something to make them hate him again," she told Sayid. "Excuse me," she said and she followed the path Sawyer had taken and saw him sitting by himself. Charlie was walking away from him. He looked at Natalie and then went on his way.

"Sawyer, why?" Natalie asked.

"Why not?" he shrugged.

"I don't believe you did this, I guess I don't know you as well as I thought."

"What is that supposed to mean?" he asked glaring at her.

"The man I fell in love with wouldn't do something like this," she said softly.

"Well he did," Sawyer said angrily.

"Don't get mad at me, I'm not the one who did something stupid," she said upset.

"Oh I'm stupid now," he said angrily.

"No you're not stupid, just what you did is stupid," she told him walking over and standing right in front of him., "Maybe Jack's right about you," she added. "Maybe we shouldn't be together."

"It was all a lie wasn't it?" he asked.

"What was a lie?"

"When you said you love me the way I am, it was a lie."

"No it wasn't, I do love you the way you are," she argued.

"This is who I am, you still love me?"

"Yes I love you, I just don't approve of what you did," she said. "I'm leaving," she said and turned to walk away.

"You can't leave me," he said grabbing her hand.

"Let go of me,' she said and Sawyer pulled her down to him.

"If you walk away from me, I might let it slip out to Jack that you danced around a pole, that you danced around a pole barely naked for men."

"You wouldn't," Natalie whispered.

"Try me. I love you, you can't leave me." He said and he kissed her.

"Let me go Sawyer," she said and he released her.

"Remember what I said Natalie," he told her and she walked away.

* * *

Natalie walked down the beach trying to stop the tears that fell from her eyes about what Sawyer did and what he said to her. She trusted him more than she ever trusted anyone. Natalie hastily wiped a tear from her eye. Sayid saw her walking down the beach and noticed she looked upset so he got up and walked over to her.

"Natalie," he said and she stopped and looked up, he was standing in front of her.

"What?" she asked.

"What's wrong?" he asked concerned.

"Sawyer," she said. "We had a little argument about what he did with the guns. I told him I was leaving and he said he wouldn't let me."

"Natalie…"

"He said if I tried he'd tell Jack what I did and Jack can't know," she told him. "He'd be so disappointed in me."

"What did you do?" Sayid asked.

"It was before the island," she told him. "But he's still be disappointed in me."

"Natalie what did you do?" Sayid asked.

"I was a stripper, I danced around a pole with barely anything on," she confessed and Sayid looked at her shocked. "If I tell Jack he'll look at me the way you are now."

"Natalie," Sayid said. "Its not like I think of you any differently now," he told her. "Natalie," Sayid said and she looked up at him. "don't cry," he told her and Natalie laid her head on his chest and Sayid wrapped his arms around her. "Maybe you should tell Jack, that way Sawyer can't threaten you with that."

"I can't tell him that, I can't" she said and looked over. "Here comes Sawyer," she sighed.

"Natalie…" Sayid said.

"Its ok, we need to talk anyway," she told Sayid and he nodded and walked away.

"Natalie," Sawyer said walking up to her. "What's going on with you two?"

"Nothing Sawyer," She told him. "Nothing."

"Natalie about earlier. I know you love me and I hope we're still ok."

"If you're asking if we're still together we are, you'll tell Jack what I used to do if I don't stay with you."

"Damn it Shortcake I wasn't ever going to tell him, I just said that, I was angry. I'll keep your secret even if you don't want me anymore."

"James," Natalie whispered. "I never said I didn't want you anymore, I said I was disappointed, I thought I knew you better but I guess I didn't," she added.

"Shortcake I didn't think this would hurt you so much, I don't know why I did it, but this is what I do and its never been a problem before."

"I know but I love you and that means loving all of you, even the sides of you I don't particularly like."

"So we're ok?" Sawyer asked.

"Yes we are, for now," Natalie whispered and Sawyer leaned down and kissed her.


	29. We all make mistakes

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

The next morning Natalie was in a much better mood. Her and Sawyer talked out their problems and then they had wandered into the Jungle and made love three times. Sawyer had ran off somewhere this morning she had no idea where and she didn't ask either.

"Natalie," she heard someone call out. She turned around, it was Jack.

"Hey Jack," Natalie said.

"Did you have any idea about what Sawyer was doing?"

"No Jack, I can't believe you would even think I would," she said hurt.

"Well its not like I know you anymore," he said.

"Jack I haven't changed that much," she told him.

"Yeah you have," he sighed.

"Did you need anything else or did you just want to make me feel bad?"

"I didn't mean to make you feel bad," Jack said.

"But since you're already looking at me with that look I hate I might as well tell you something else about me that will make you even more disappointed in me," she said.

"Natalie I have never been disappointed in you," he said. "But what is it?"

"Its about before I got trapped here," she said. "What I was doing when everyone thought I was out trying to become a singer, you know how I would go out every night to sing somewhere."

"Yeah I remember. What were you doing?"

"Well I was dancing," she said and Jack looked at her. "Around a pole, with barely any clothes on." Jack looked at her.

"Natalie why didn't you ever say anything before?" he asked.

"I didn't want you to look at me the way you are now, like I've let you down." She explained.

"Natalie," Jack said and he took a step closer to her and he wrapped his arms around her. "You haven't let me down and you know I still love you no matter what you do."

"Thanks Jack," Natalie said. "I love you to."

* * *

It was a few days later when Natalie was walking alone in the jungle. She knew she shouldn't be alone but she needed to be alone for a while. She was walking when she saw Sawyer and Ana Lucia together. She couldn't hear what they were saying she wasn't close enough and she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what they were talking about anyway. Then she saw something she never expected. They kissed and the next thing she knew they were on the ground and all their clothes were off and she couldn't watch anymore so she ran off not paying attention to anything around her. She didn't see a pair of dark eyes see her run by and follow her. She ran until she was at the place she used to live. She stopped once she was inside and cried. Everything was blurry around her, she couldn't see for all the tears. She dropped to the ground on her knees and just cried not believing she had just seen the man she loves with another woman, having sex with another woman. Sayid walked in a few minutes later.

"Natalie," he said softly.

"I'd rather be alone," she said through her tears.

"No, I'm not leaving," he said walking over. He knelt down behind her. "Natalie," he said touching her shoulder. She turned around and looked at him. "what happened?"

"Sawyer," she said sniffling. "And Ana Lucia," she added. "I saw them together. They were…" she couldn't finish but she didn't have to Sayid knew exactly what she meant.

"Are you sure?" Sayid asked and she nodded and leaned against him and cried. He wrapped his arms around her. They just sat there like that until she stopped crying. When she stopped crying she looked up at Sayid.

"Thank you," she whispered. Sayid looked at her and smiled. He brushed her hair away from her face. Natalie leaned up and pressed her lips to his.

"Natalie," Sayid said and she looked at him. "You're upset and not thinking clearly."

"You want this to, you just don't want to admit it."

"Of course I want this, you're a beautiful woman and…"

"Sayid," she said softly and he heard the need in her voice and realized this was something they both needed. He leaned down and pressed his lips gently to hers. Natalie rested her hands on his shoulders and Sayid tangled his fingers in her hair and deepened the kiss. Natalie ran her hands down his chest and pulled his shirt over his head.

"You sure?" Sayid asked. And Natalie ran her hands over his chest and looked up at him and nodded.

"Yes," she whispered. He bent down and kissed her neck and she knew she shouldn't be doing this that she should tell him stop, but she didn't. Sayid pulled her shirt over her head and brought his lips to her neck. He lowered her to the ground and soon the rest of their clothes ended up on the ground.

* * *

Sayid grabbed a blanket to cover them up. Natalie rolled over and looked at him.

"You have regrets," he said softly.

"No," she lied.

"Yeah you do I see it in your eyes," he told her.

"Sayid…"

"Its ok," he said quietly. "We shouldn't do this again."

"Yeah you're right," she agreed. "We should just get dressed and head back to the beach."

"Yeah you're right," he agreed and they got dressed and headed back.

* * *

They walked back to the beach in silence neither one of them had much to say or knew what to say.

"So is this how's its going to be between us from now on?" Natalie asked.

"What do you mean?" Sayid asked.

"Awkward silence," she said. "Neither one of us knowing what to say because in a moment of pain we both gave in to something we needed," she said. Sayid was about to say something but Sawyer saw her walking with Sayid and walked over to her.

"There you are," he said and Natalie turned around. "I've been looking for you," he added.

"Well I guess you found me," she said.

"I'm going," Sayid said and walked away.

"What do you want?" she asked crossing her arms.

"Are you mad at me or something?" he asked.

"Why would I be mad?" she asked.

"You sound mad."

"Not mad," she told him.

"Is there something going on with you and him?" he asked.

"Sayid, he does have a name," she told him.

"Yeah I know, is there something going on?" he asked.

"Is there something going on between you and Ana Lucia?"

"We're talking about you," Sawyer said.

"Are you hiding something Sawyer?" Natalie asked putting her hands on her hips.

"Do you know something you're not telling me?" Sawyer asked.

"I'm done here," Natalie said and turned to walk away but Sawyer grabbed her arm.

"Let me Go!" she demanded but he pulled her closer.

"What is wrong with you?" Sawyer asked.

"Nothing," Natalie told him.

"You lie," Sawyer said angrily.

"I saw you," Natalie whispered. "I saw you with Ana Lucia," she added and Sawyer let go of her arm.

"What?" he asked shocked.

"I saw you!" she exclaimed.

"Natalie I…"

"What Sawyer?"

"I wasn't thinking clearly," he said.

"Apparently not," she said rolling her eyes. "Apparently you weren't thinking with your big brain."

"Natalie…"

"Am I not good enough anymore?"

"Of course you are."

"Well then I guess the sex isn't good enough then," she said upset and sat down on the ground.

"Shortcake, that's not it," Sawyer told her. "The sex with you is the best sex I've ever had."

"I don't believe you," She said and he sat beside her.

"I love you Natalie more than I ever thought I could love someone," he said softly.

"I love you Sawyer but lately I feel like I don't know you anymore," she admitted and he looked at her

"Shortcake I don't know what's going on lately but I need you and…"

"I need you to," she told him and looked over at him and their eyes met. "I love you but you make me so mad sometimes Sawyer."

"I know but I'm glad you haven't walked away from me yet."

"If I haven't walked away from you by now I don't think I ever will," she said smiling. "I hope you feel the same way about me that if I did something in a moment of not thinking clearly and a moment of pain that you'd be able to forgive me the same way I just forgave you."

"Natalie what are you talking about?" he asked confused.

"Nothing," she said and stood up and turned to walk away. She walked three steps and turned back around and walked back over to him.

"I need to tell you something because I don't want to lie to you," she said. "I love you and I want to be honest with you and you'll probably walk away from me forever," she said quickly.

"I would never walk away from you, I love you to much, no matter what you've done," he told her.

"I hope you still feel that way in a few minutes," she said. "We all make mistakes," she said. "But you're going to be mad," she added breathing heavily. "Really mad."

"Its ok calm down and tell me," he said.

"After I saw you and Ana Lucia I was upset and angry at you. I ran off crying and Sayid followed me. We talked and he was being nice. I was crying and he put his arms around me and held me until I stopped crying." She told him. "I kissed him," Natalie told him. "And things got carried away and we slept together."

"WHAT!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Sawyer,"

"What were you thinking?" he asked angrily.

"I wasn't, I wasn't thinking," she said upset. "I was hurt by what I saw and I wanted the pain to go away," she told him wiping a tear that ran down her cheek. "I'm sorry."

"I can't believe you slept with him," Sawyer said.

"I'm so sorry Sawyer," She told him. She knew he was angry, she could see it all over his face.

"I guess we're more alike than we thought," she added looking directly at him.

"Guess so," he replied coldly and turned to walk away from her.

"James," she said and he stopped. "I know you're mad and you have every right to be but think about this, I'm just as mad at you about Ana Lucia so don't even act all cold and distant to me, Like I've done something wrong when you're just as wrong as I am," she told him. "We all make mistakes," she said. "It was a mistake," she said. He turned around and looked at her and his expression softened. He walked over to her. He tucked her hair behind her ear.

"Shortcake, I'm just a bit shocked," he explained. She looked away.

"You're not shocked you're mad," she told him. He ran his finger over her cheek and she looked at him.

"Hell Yeah I'm mad, that you would sleep with someone I hate," he told her. "It hurts," he added softly.

"Well you did the same thing to me and more" she pointed out. "Don't you think what you did hurt me?"

"I know, I know," he said frustrated.

"Can you admit you made a mistake?" Natalie asked.

"Can you?" Sawyer said.

"Yeah I can. I know I wasn't thinking clearly with Sayid and I never should have done anything with him and I admit that it was a mistake and I wasn't thinking clearly." She told him. "It was totally different with Sayid than with you. With Sayid it was just sex but with you its more than sex. With you once is never enough..."

"Twice is never enough," he said and she smiled.

"But with Sayid I knew I should have never done it and i knew what a huge mistake I made when it was over. I hoped you wouldn't hate me or walk away from you. I knew I had to be honest with you because things like this have a way of coming out and I didn't want to lie to you," she said. "So what about you, can you admit you made a mistake?" she asked Sawyer.

"I know it was a mistake." Sawyer told Natalie, "She never really wanted me, she did it to get a gun,"

"Well I wanted you from the minute I saw you, when Jack introduced us and said Natalie this is Sawyer the guy you should stay away from, nobody likes him," Natalie told him, a slight smile was on his face. "After that I was always trying to accidentally run into you," she added taking a step toward him.

"But Boone…" Sawyer said.

"I know and I did love Boone, I cared about David but I was never in love with him. I loved him but I wasn't in love with him. Boone, well Boone was the first guy I loved," she confessed. "But you Sawyer, you're so different."

"I am," he said softly.

"Well you're the last person I thought I would fall in love with and I had no intention of falling in love with anyone," she told him taking his hands in hers. "But it happened and I'm glad it happened. I know you probably don't want to hear any of this but…"

"No go on, I want to hear whatever it is you have to say," he told her.

"Well I love you, more than I ever thought I could love anyone again. When Boone and I broke up the first time, I just wanted to forget about him and Shannon and everything so I never really dealt with the way I felt," she explained. "So when I saw him again after three years all the old feelings I had came back because I just buried them down and forgot about them or tried to anyway. I was to busy trying to survive this island I never expected to see Boone again or fall in love with anyone."

"Especially me," Sawyer said.

"Well yeah, but that doesn't change the fact that I do love you or that I don't know what I would have done without you," she told him brushing the hair away from his face.

"Really?" Sawyer asked and she nodded.

"Yeah, I couldn't have made it this far without you," she said wrapping her arms around his neck.

"I love you," Sawyer said and he leaned down and kissed her.

"I love you to Sawyer, more than I've ever loved anyone."

* * *

Natalie was sitting on the beach with Sawyer. Things have been kind of tense between them since what happeend with Ana Lucia and Sayid but they were some how managing to get through it. She looked over at him.

"What are you thinking about?" he asked.

"Nothing really," she said. "I haven't seen Jack recently."

"Maybe he's busy," Sawyer said.

"But he's always around to tell me you're no good for me," Natalie told him.

"Do you want him to tell you I'm no good for you?" Sawyer asked.

"No Sawyer I don't."

"Maybe he's accepted our relationship," Sawyer suggested.

"I doubt it," Natalie sighed. "I need to go talk to him, I'll be back soon," she said and went to stand up, but Sawyer pulled her back down.

"Shortcake," he said.

"He's my brother and that's never going to change," Natalie told him and she leaned over and kissed Sawyer. "I'll be right back." She added and stood up and made her way to the hatch.

* * *

When Natalie walked into the hatch Jack and Locke seemed to be arguing, She also noticed Michael was back.

"Michael is he ok?" she asked.

"He's fine Natalie," Jack assured her.

"Is this a bad time?" she asked.

"No, come on in Natalie," Jack said.

"We'll finish later," Locke said and he walked out.

"What do you need?" Jack asked.

"Nothing, can't I just want to see my brother."

"What's wrong?" he asked.

"I haven't seen you in few days," she said.

"I'm sorry, I've been busy," Jack told her.

"I know you're busy Jack," Natalie said. "I just…I miss you," she said softly. "Are you mad at me?"

"No, Natalie," he answered.

"Have you finally accepted my relationship with Sawyer?" she asked hopefully.

"No Natalie," Jack told her. "I don't know if I'll ever accept that."

"Then…"

"Natalie," Jack said looking at a door. "I have things to take care of here, can we do this later?" Natlie noticed Jack was looking at the door inside the Hatch.

"You and John were arguing when I came in," she said.

"Yes we were," Jack agreed.

"About someone," she put in.

"Natalie," Jack said.

"Are you keeping someone in here, behind that door?"

"Natalie that's ridiculous," Jack said shaking his head.

"You are!" she exclaimed. "Don't lie to me Jack," she told him.

"But Natalie…"

"You know I could always tell when you are lying," she said pointing her finger at him.

"Fine Natalie we are keeping a man in there. We think he's one of the Others," Jack told her.

"I want to talk to him," she said.

"Natalie I don't think that's a good idea," Jack said.

"Jack I have lived on this island for three years, just let me talk to him, I'll be fine," she assured him.

"Natalie I don't think," Jack said.

"What's his name?" she asked.

"He said his name is Henry Gale," Jack told her.

'You don't believe him?" she asked.

"I don't know what to believe," he said.

"Let me talk to him," she told him. "Please Jack."

"Fine, five minutes and that's it," Jack told her and he led her to the door and entered the code and unlocked it and Natalie walked in. "I'm timing you, I'm not going far," he said and shut the door behind her. Natalie walked in and looked at the man sitting down across from where she was standing.

"You," Natalie said. "What are you doing here?" she asked.


	30. Just kiss me

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

"Hello Natalie," he said. 

"Henry Gale," Natalie said.

"For now I am," he said.

"They'll figure it out eventually," she told him.

"Maybe," he replied.

"Why are you here?" she asked.

"This is better than I ever imagined it could be," he said ignoring her question. "Jack's your brother, you've fallen in love with his enemy." He added smiling and Natalie got a chill.

"What do you want?" Natalie asked.

"Have you reconsidered?" he asked.

"No, nothing is going to change my mind," she told him. "I'm surprised you didn't kill me when I turned your offer down all those years ago."

"No someone asked us not to, they thought you would come around," he told her. "They believed in you."

"They were wrong," she told him. "For believing I would come around."

"We were prepared to make you one of us, just like we did for him," he said and Natalie took a step closer to him.

"Who, like you did for who?" Natalie asked.

"Johnny," he answered.

"No," she said shaking her head. "Johnny's not here, He can't be here. Not now."

"Why not, its actually kind of perfect don't you think," he said smiling. "Ex boyfriend, new boyfriend all on the same island," he added.

"I don't believe you," Natalie said. "Because Johnny would never argue for my life, he never really loved me at all."

"Of course he did."

"He never acted like it." She said. "I've got to get out of here," she said and walked to the door. She started to pound on it hoping Jack could hear her. She was sure her five minutes should be up by now. Jack soon opened the door.

"Are you ok?" Jack asked.

"I'm fine, I've got to get out of here," she said and she quickly left.

"What did you say to her? Did you do something to her?" Jack asked angrily.

"Of course not Jack," Henry responded and Jack shut the door.

Locke came back in at that moment.

"Is Natalie ok, she seemed upset," Locke said.

"Can you stay here, I need to go after Natalie," Jack said.

"Of course go on," Locke said and Jack ran out hoping to catch Natalie.

* * *

Natalie never planned on seeing him again, she knew it was possible but they had left her alone for three years why now. They must want something else or someone else. Could Johnny really be here? It seemed impossible, like he was just toying with her feelings. Everything was going to fall apart. If Jack found out she knew who Henry really is he would hate her. 

Jack ran after Natalie, he found her just standing around in the middle of the jungle.

"Natalie," Jack said.

"Jack," she replied.

"Did he do something to you?" Jack asked.

"No Jack I'm fine," she said.

"No you're not."

"Jack I just…don't worry about it ok."

"Well I do worry about you Natalie and if something is going on you can tell me."

"Its nothing Jack I promise."

"Ok," Jack said but Natalie knew he didn't believe her.

"I'll see you later," she said.

"Ok Natalie," Jack said and Natalie made her way back to the beach.

* * *

When Natalie found Sawyer he was in the same place she left him. 

"Hey," she said sitting down.

"Did you talk to Jack?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said.

"And?"

"He's been busy, but he hasn't accepted our relationship and he never will." she said softly. "But its ok, he doesn't have to accept you, I love you."

"And I love you." Sawyer said and he kissed her.

"If I tell you something can you keep it a secret?" she asked.

"Of course," Sawyer told her.

"You won't tell anyone, I mean it Sawyer, you can't tell anyone." She said and Sawyer saw her serious expression.

"Of course not I promise," Sawyer said.

"Ok," she said. "Well Jack and Locke are keeping a man locked up in the Hatch, they think he is one of the Others."

"Really?" Sawyer asked. "What do you think?"

"He is, I know he is."

"You sound so sure." He said.

"I am because I've met him before."

"What!" he said shocked. "You're serious."

"I am," she said. "Three years ago when I crashed here and the people I crashed with started slowly diminishing, this guy approached me trying to convince me to live with them on their island. They said they needed me for something and they were willing to wait for me to come around. I mean this after all is their island."

"Ok that's true," Sawyer agreed.

"Well I told them I wanted to be on my own, he said he'd give me more time to think but I never saw him again until now."

"What did he say?" Sawyer asked curiously.

"I looked at him and we talked and he said. 'This is better than I ever imagined it could be, Jack's your brother, you've fallen in love with his enemy.'"

"Ok, Anything else?"

"He asked me if I reconsidered and I told him I hadn't and nothing was going to change my mind, I told him I was surprised he didn't kill me when I turned your offer down all those years ago."

"So what did he say? What was the reason he didn't kill you?"

"He said someone asked him not to, they thought you would come around," she said. "This man said they were prepared to make me one of them, just like we did for the guy who asked them not to kill me," she told Sawyer.

"He tell you who this guy was?"

"Yeah he did."

"So who?"

"Johnny, I dated him after David."

"David was the guy you dated in high School."

"Right," she said standing up and walking a few steps away. Sawyer stood up and followed her.

"Do you believe him?" Sawyer asked.

"I don't know what to believe," she said. "But what if he's telling the truth?"

"Well you'll never know unless you go back and talk to this guy again."

"I can't do that," she said. "I just can't." she added as Sawyer stood right behind her. He slipped his arms around her waist. She leaned back against him and covered his hands with hers.

"Yeah you can," Sawyer sighed. "Just depends on how bad you want to know if what he said was true."

"I really want to know," she said turning to face Sawyer. His arms were still around her waist. "I just," she began as she placed her hands on his shoulders. "What if Johnny's here? That would be horrible."

"You'll never know if you don't go back and talk to him."

"You're right," she sighed. "But I want to forget it right now."

"If that's what you want," Sawyer said.

"I'm here with you and I want to forget all about what I just found out for now, I'll deal with it later," she said sliding her arms around his neck. "But if Jack knows that I've met this guy before I don't know what he'll do or think," she sighed.

"So you're not going to tell him?" Sawyer asked.

"No, not now at least, not until I know something more," she told him.

"If you think that's what you should do," he said.

"I don't know if its what I should do but its what I'm going to do," she said and she laid her head on his chest. "Everything's going to fall apart now," she said starting to cry. "I could loose my brother and you."

"I'm not going anywhere," Sawyer told her. "As for Jack, he'll understand."

"I hope so," she sighed.

"Everything is going to be ok," Sawyer assured her.

"I almost believe it when you say that," she said looking up at him.

"It may not seem like it now, but everything will eventually work out," he told her.

She smiled up at him and sighed. "Kiss me," she said. "Just kiss me, I forget about everything but you when you're kissing me," she told him.

"Natalie I…"

"Please," She said softly and Sawyer gently touched his lips to hers. When he pulled away Natalie looked at him.

"I love you Sawyer," she said softly.

"And I love you," he said holding her face in his hands and kissing her again.

"Jack knows something's wrong, he's not pressing for details now but he will soon," She sighed.

"I know he will, he's your brother its his job you know, to worry about you."

"I know," she smiled. "I worry about him to, he works to much, worries to much."

"Well you are the only family he has, if I had family I'd worry to," Sawyer said.

"I love you," Natalie said softly.

"I love you to," Sawyer said.

"Just don't leave me again," She said and laid her head on his chest.

"I won't," he whispered as he wrapped his arms around her. He leaned down and kissed her.

"I'm going to go for a walk, I'll see you later ok," Natalie said.

"You want some company?" Sawyer asked.

"I'll see you later," Natalie said. "I need to do some thinking," she added.

"Is everything ok?" Sawyer asked concerned. "You feel ok?"

"I'm fine, I just I need to think," she told him and he nodded.

"You'll tell me when you're ready," he said and she shook her head and walked off.

"I hope everything's ok," Natalie said to herself.

* * *

Natalie was walking down the beach, was Johnny really here? Was it really an accident about him being caught or did he mean to get caught. He's not a stupid man, not stupid enough to just stumble on something and get caught. There has to be something planned. Some reason he's here and Natalie wondered what it was. He of course knew about her and Sawyer that much was clear, but she wondered if he knew it was possible that she…well the truth was she was late, over a week late, she had been late before but the situation was different now, she was never involved with anyone before. How could she tell Sawyer that? She wondered if there were any pregnancy tests in his stash, when he went to shower or the next time he was away she'd look., no use in worrying him until she knew. Natalie walked back to Sawyer. 

"Hey," she said smiling.

"You ok, you get some thinking done?"

"I've got so much running through my head that I need to do that sometimes, take a walk alone."

"As long as you don't go far, I don't want to risk losing you," Sawyer said and Natalie smiled at him.

"I'll be back in a minute," Sawyer said and he left. If he was going to the use the nearest tree she had about three minutes.

"Ok if I was Sawyer where would I put a pregnancy test," she said to herself and started looking through his stuff. She looked through a bag and a case and then some other things.

"There has to be at least one," she said frustrated and she looked again.

"AHA," she said and she grabbed it and quickly stuffed it in her pocket. Then she decided to go take it and she jogged off.

Natalie was pacing back and forth, it was longest few minutes of her life waiting. She was incredibly nervous, She looked over at the stick and picked it up, her hand was shaking and then she looked to the box.

"This is not good," Natalie said. "This can't happen to me," she said and she thrust the stick in her pocket. "It has to be wrong, pregnancy tests can be wrong sometimes," she said to herself and pulled the stick back out of her pocket and looked at it. It definitely said she was pregnant.

"I could have done something wrong," she said to herself. "I was to nervous taking it, This isn't possible, I can't be pregnant. I'll have to take another test," she said and looked at the stick one more time, it said she was pregnant. She put the stick back in her pocket and walked back to Sawyer.

"Where did you go?" he asked.'

"If you must know I had to pee," she told him. "I'm really tired, I'm glad it'll be dark soon," she said stretching out.

"Are you sure you're ok?" Sawyer asked. "You're acting different."

"I'm fine I promise," Natalie assured him.


	31. The Truth about Johnny

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

The next morning Natalie woke up and Sawyer seemed to be in a bad mood.

"What's wrong?" she asked sitting up.

"Someone has been through my stuff," he said.

"Why didn't you notice last night?"

"I thought something was wrong with you so I didn't really pay attention," he told her. "But Everything is all out of place and I'm missing a pregnancy test."

"You take inventory or something," Natalie asked nervously as she stood up. She didn't think Sawyer would miss the test for at least a few more days.

"No but I know I had six and now I only have five," he told her.

"Maybe you misplaced it," Natalie suggested.

"I think you know me better than that." He said looking at her.

"Yeah you're right," she agreed. "Sawyer some woman took it, she must be scared right now," Natalie told him. "Being pregnant on this island," she said.

"When I find out who it is," he said angrily. "All she had to do was ask and I would have given it to her," he added. "I'm going to find out who it is," he said and started to walk off. She couldn't let him go yelling at everyone then they would know it was her and IF she was pregnant she didn't want anyone else to know yet.

"Sawyer wait!" she called out and he turned around.

"What?"

"I know who it is," she said softly and he walked over.

"You know who took the test?" he asked. "Tell me." He said and Natalie felt tears slide down her cheeks. "Shortcake, what is it?" he asked concerned.

"I took it," she told him.

"You went through my stuff?" he asked. "You took the pregnancy test for who?"

"For me," she answered and Sawyer looked at her shocked.

"You?" he said shocked.

"Sawyer I'm over a week late, so I took it."

"And?" he asked anxiously. She pulled the test out of her pocket.

"It says I'm pregnant," she said and showed him the test. "It has to be wrong," she added. "This isn't supposed to happen to me," she told him as more tears slid down her cheeks.

"You're pregnant," he said shocked and he looked at the stick and she nodded her head.

"And its mine," he said.

"Who else?" she asked.

"Sayid maybe," he suggested.

"It has to be you, I love you," she told him. "I'll understand if you don't want to be around me or want nothing to do with me,:" she said trying to stop the tears.

"Shortcake," he said whispered. "You're gonna have my baby," he added.

"God I hope so, I don't know why this happened to me," she told him wiping tears away and sitting down.

"You going to tell Jack?"

"No," she said quickly. "Not yet anyway, I don't want to get his hopes up of being an uncle, he'll be so excited. I can't let him down again. I can't let you down either."

"What are you talking about?"

"I've been pregnant before," she told him.

"Really?"

"I um…miscarried and the doctor told me, I couldn't have a baby."

"But…" Sawyer said.

"I know its weird that I'm pregnant that's why the test has to be wrong.." She told him.

"Natalie," Sawyer said softly. "You have to tell Jack," he added.

"Not now I can't," she said and she leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around her.

"When Jack finds out I'm pregnant he'll say you are just like Johnny."

"Johnny?" he asked. "You've mentioned him before."

"The boyfriend after David. I got pregnant when I was dating him and he wanted nothing to do with me. Then I miscarried at 7 months, I fell down a few flights of stairs." she told him.

"How many?"

"It was three," she said.

"What happened?" Sawyer asked.

"I went to see Johnny," she told him. "I wanted to talk to him, get him to be a part of his daughter's life," she said sitting down.

"You were going to have a girl," he said.

"Yeah." She said. "I figured it would have his blue eyes and my smile or something you know."

"So what happened when you went to go see Johnny?" he asked sitting down by her.

"Well his apartment building didn't have an elevator so I had to climb three flights of stairs to see him," she went on. "I asked him to reconsider and he wouldn't, so we argued a little," she admitted. "I stormed out and he followed me and stopped me at the top of the stairs. He tried to apologize but I knew he didn't mean it I could tell by his voice. He just didn't want Jack to know he had upset me. That we had been arguing. Jack couldn't stand him." She said brushing a tear away from her face. "So I grabbed his hand and asked him one more time to reconsider and of course he said no. Then he jerked his hand out of my grasp much harder than he needed to and I lost my balance and I fell down all those stairs," she told Sawyer. "I hope he didn't mean for me to fall but I've always thought that he did."

"Natalie," Sawyer said softly.

"I never even got to hold my baby," she said tears running down her cheeks. "After carrying her for seven months she was gone.

"I'm so sorry Natalie," Sawyer said wiping her tears away.

"The doctor told me I had a high chance of miscarrying anyway. I was supposed to be extremely careful anyway and I should have known better than to go see Johnny but I did anyway." she said. "Jack was so mad, I've never seen him that mad. I thought he might kill Johnny. They did get in a fight."

"No wonder Jack's so protective," Sawyer said. "I'd probably be the exact same way." He added. "I'm not Johnny I would never hurt you, I'm not going to leave you or distance myself from you or ignore you." He told her. "When this baby is born, because I believe everything will be ok, I'm going to love it as much as I love you."

"I hope you love it more than you love me," she told him.

"So what are you going to do?" Sawyer asked her.

"Hope the test is wrong, I want the test to be wrong, I want a baby one day but not while I'm here," She told him. "Or if its right I can only hope I don't miscarry, I don't think Jack could save me if I did."

"Don't talk like that, I'm not going to loose you," Sawyer told her.

"Can we just keep this our secret for now?"

"If that's what you want."

"It is," she told him. She pulled away and looked up at him and he leaned down and kissed her.

"You could take another test in a few days if you want, to check and see."

"Yeah I think I might," she said.

"You still going to love me when I'm fat and waddle like a penguin?"

"You won't be fat, you'll be having a baby."

"I hope I do," she sighed. "We have to be careful when we do stuff from now on," she told him.

"Yeah I know," he told her. "We could just not do stuff."

"For nine months Sawyer?" she asked skeptically.

"Yeah you're right, we'll be very, very careful from now on," he told her and she leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around her.

_FLASHBACK_

_Natalie was having dinner with Jack today. She hadn't seen him that much since she'd been dating Johnny and she felt bad about it. Jack was the only person she knew she could depend on._

"_So how are things with you and Johnny?" Jack asked._

"_Good" she answered._

"_Natalie you could find someone much better than Johnny," Jack said. "You're a pretty girl."_

"_Jack," she said._

"_At least someone closer to your age," he told her._

"_I'm happy with Johnny," she told him._

"_I just think you're messing your life up Natalie, I don't want to see you hurt."_

"_Well Jack, its my life and I'll mess it up anyway I want to," she said and stood up. "Thanks for dinner," she added and walked out._

_END FLASHBACK_

The next day Natalie was walking down the beach alone. For some reason the thought of being pregnant made her very happy, the fact that the baby was Sawyer's. It had to be Sawyer's, she only slept with Sayid once, once is all it takes of course, but her baby, IF she is actually pregnant, is Sawyer's, it has to be. She had stopped walking.

"Natalie," someone said and she looked up.

"Hey Charlie," she said.

"You look different, good different."

"Thanks I guess," she said smiling as Sawyer walked over to her. She smiled at him.

"I'll see you later," Charlie said.

"Bye Charlie," she said as he walked away.

"So how do you feel today?" Sawyer asked.

"Good," she replied. "Do I look different?"

"Why?"

"Charlie said I looked different, good different but different."

"Well now that you mention it, you do look even better than you did yesterday," he told her sliding his arms around her waist.

"Don't tease me, IF I am really pregnant my stomach won't be flat much longer, you probably won't be able to get your arms around me soon," she sighed.

"Stop it," Sawyer said. "You'll still be beautiful no matter what because you'll be having my baby," he told her.

"Really?" she asked and looked up at him.

"Yes really," he told her and leaned down and kissed her.

"That's very sweet."

"Yeah, yeah, just don't let it get around."

"So how far along do you think you are?" he asked. "IF you are pregnant."

"Eight weeks maybe," she said.

"Oh."

"Yeah but I am retaking the test, I'm not supposed to be able to have kids," she told him as they started walking back to his tent. "The tests are usually right but I could have done something wrong when I taking it, I was a little nervous. My hand was shaking the whole time."

"If that's what you want," he said.

"It is," she said. "Plus I've had no signs of being pregnant," she told him.

"Like what?"

"I haven't been sick. My breasts feel fine, they're not sore or anything. I've felt fine, no headaches or anything like that. I'm not hungry. I mean there is no way I can be pregnant, no way," she said as they reached his tent. She sat down.

"Ok, you'll take another test then" he said and went in his tent and came out with a test.

"In the morning," she said. "I heard it was better to take a test first thing in the morning, so lets try it then," she told him.

"Ok," he agreed.

* * *

The next morning when Natalie and Sawyer woke up, Sawyer handed her a test.

"I'll be right back," she said taking it from him and walking away.

Natalie opened the box and read the instructions three times before she even began to use the test. She finally took the test and waited the few minutesit said and looked at it. She covered her mouth with her hand and looked at the test again to make sure she wasn't seeing things. She put the test in her pocket and walked back to Sawyer.

"Back already?" he asked.

"Yeah,"

"And what happened?" he asked. "What did the test say?"


	32. The Results

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review and don't be to upset about the results of the test.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Natalie looked up at him.

"I'm not pregnant," she said.

"Are you sure?" he asked.

"Yeah I know I did it right this time, I read the instructions three times before I took it and it said I'm not pregnant," she told him.

"It could be wrong."

"I think its better for it not to be wrong, neither one of us need a baby," she told him.

"You're right," he said and she sat down next to him.

"Are you disappointed?" she asked covering his hand with hers.

"Of course not, I wouldn't be a good dad anyway," he sighed.

"Yeah you would," she said. "I'll be back in a minute," she told him and stood up and walked off.

* * *

Natalie couldn't deny she was disappointed because she wanted a baby, she knew she'd never have a baby though. The last thing anyone on this island needed was another baby. She knew it was to good to be true, her being pregnant, it wasn't possible. She sighed and continued on her walk. After a few minutes she walked back over to Sawyer.

"Sawyer," she said and he stood up.

"Natalie," he said. "Come here," he added and held his hand out. She placed her hand in his and he pulled her to him. "I love you," he said and she laid her head against his chest.

"I love you to," she said as he wrapped his arms around her.

"No chance the test is wrong?" he asked and she pulled away.

"No," she told him. "I'm definitely not pregnant, I did something wrong the first time, pregnancy tests can be wrong if I did something wrong, which I'm sure I did when I took it, I was too nervous I guess," she added.

"I guess," he said.

"Plus I just started my period so hopefully that means I'm not pregnant," she said.

"I didn't need to know that," Sawyer said wrinkling his nose and she smiled.

"Everything's going to be ok," she told him pulling away and looking up at him.

"I know," he sighed resting his forehead against hers.

"You know when I was pregnant before it was going to be a girl," she said walking away and sitting down.

"Really?" he asked walking over to sit beside her.

"Yeah I was going to name her Emma Grace," she told him.

"That's cute," he said smiling.

"And call her Gracie," she added.

"Cute," he said.

"I laid around my apartment for about a month after I lost Gracie. I didn't want to eat, or take a shower or anything," she said. "I just wanted to stop living because I had lost my baby and I felt empty." She went on. "Like I should have done something more to protect her." she added wiping a tear from her eye. "If it wasn't for Jack I don't know what I would have done." She told him. "I swear I have no idea where he gets his patience from because its not from anyone in our family." She told Sawyer.

"What did Jack do?"

"Came over to see me almost everyday and talked if I wanted to or just sat with me if I didn't want to talk. He made me eat," she said running her fingers through her hair. "I know that after working all day the last thing he wanted to do was take care of me, but he did," she sighed.

"He wouldn't have done it if he didn't want to," Sawyer said.

"I know," she sighed. "Its just Jack's been the only constant thing in my life."

"What do you mean?"

"My dad worked a lot, he was a doctor to," she said. "He also drank a lot."

"Your mom?" Sawyer asked.

"I think I was a disappointment because I wasn't as great as Jack. I mean Jack's a doctor, how do you live up to that?" she said. "I mean they didn't realize I wanted different things from my life. I didn't want to be a doctor or a lawyer or anything like that." She explained. "My mom was always sending Jack to try and talk some sense into me about things. And Jack would talk to me but he let me make my own decisions. Its just Jack's always been there when no one else was."

"Wow, I didn't realize how close you and Jack really are," Sawyer said.

"I know and I haven't been that nice to him since I've been here," she said. "I feel bad."

"Natalie, I think he understands why you haven't been so nice. Its mainly my fault."

"No, no its not," She argued. "Its my fault."

"Natalie…"

"I'm not arguing with you about this James," she told him.

"Ok because I don't want to argue," Sawyer said.

* * *

A few hours later Natalie was walking to the hatch to try and find Jack. She hoped that's where he was.

"Hey Jack," Natalie said.

"Hey," he replied.

"You busy?" she asked.

"No, not right now," he answered.

"I want to talk to you."

"Alright," Jack said.

"I know that since I've been here I haven't been the easiest person to get along with," she said.

"Natalie, you've never been easy to get along with," he said smiling.

"That's mean," she said but returned his smile. "I know I've been difficult," she added. Especially after all the stuff you've done for me, with Johnny and losing Gracie. I really don't know what I would have done without you," she told him.

"Natalie…"

"I'm sorry I haven't been that nice to you. I'm sorry Jack," she said. Wiping a tear from her eye. "I love you, you know that," she said and hugged him.

"Natalie, you don't have to apologize to me," he said wrapping his arms around her. "I never did anything I didn't want to. You're my sister and I love you."

"I know Jack," she said.

* * *

Natalie walked back down to the beach and found Sawyer reading yet another book.

"Hey," she said sitting next to him.

"Hey," he replied not looking away from his book.

"Are you mad?" she asked.

"No," he answered.

"Then why won't you look at me?" she asked and Sawyer sighed and closed his book and looked over at her.

So where did you go?" he asked.

"To find Jack," she answered.

"I thought so," he said.

"You talk to him?"

"Yeah I did," she said.

"Good," Sawyer said.

"You sure you're not mad?" she asked.

"Of course I'm not," he said and he leaned over and kissed her.

"And you're not disappointed?" she asked.

"Why would I be?" he asked.

"I can't have kids," she said. "Some guys want kids."

"I'm not disappointed," he told her. "I promise," he added and she laid her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and rested his head on hers.

"Are you disappointed?" he asked.

"A little yeah, but maybe it was some kind of sign I shouldn't have kids or something."

"Don't do that," Sawyer said. "Because that's not it."

"How do you know?" she asked. "Maybe I'd be a horrible mom or something."

"No you wouldn't," he said.

"How do you know?"

"Because I just do," he said softly.

* * *

Natalie walked down the beach. She needed some time alone. After talking to Sawyer about being pregnant and then not being pregnant and he was being so sweet. She sighed heavily and plopped down in front of the water. She wondered if Sawyer was telling the truth that he really would be happy without kids or if he was just saying that. She really hoped Sawyer wasn't lying to her when he said that. Someone sat next to her.

"Are you ok?" he asked.

"Yeah Jack I think so,' she answered.

"What's on your mind?"

"Sawyer," she answered.

"Of course, I should have known," Jack said.

"I'm sure its just me over thinking things and messing them up like I always do."

"Like you always do?" he asked.

"Getting drunk with David, Getting pregnant with Johnny and trying to force him to be a part of his child's life, walking out on Boone, so what am I going to do, things are going so good with Sawyer," she said. "He's being so sweet right now."

"So what's the problem?" Jack asked.

"Sawyer's not sweet," she said. "I think sweet is the last word anyone here would use to describe him."

"That's true, everyone but you," Jack said.

"Yeah," she sighed. "Its just, I can't have kids," she told him. "And he says he's ok with that but what if he really isn't?" she asked. "What if we one day get off this island and we stay together and he decides he wants kids?" she asked. "There's nothing I can do to change the fact I can't have kids."

"You're jumping way ahead of yourself Natalie," Jack said. "Don't go looking for a problem that's not there," he said. "Maybe you should just believe what he says for now."

"Really?" she asked. "You don't sound like the Jack I know right now, Jack would love an excuse for me and Sawyer to not be together."

"I'm your brother and I see how much you love Sawyer and how much he seems to love you and I can't change that," he said. "And while I don't like it, I need to try and deal with it and its your life and you can mess it up any way you want to," Jack said.

"Don't throw my words back in my face Jack," she said smiling.

"They're your words."

"I know I told you that when I was with Johnny and I really wasn't thinking clearly about Johnny. Lets just say you were right and I was wrong and leave Johnny at that, we never have to see him again."

"And I'm glad," Jack said.

"Yeah me to," she agreed. "I know Johnny was a mistake, but Sawyer isn't and I just hope that he doesn't start to think that we are a mistake now that he knows all about Johnny and how I can't have kids."

"I'm sure he won't," Jack told her.


	33. Not a Mistake

**A/N: Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. Please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Natalie walked back over to Sawyer's tent and sat down by him.

"Hey," she said.

"Where did you go?" he asked.

"I just needed to think," she answered. "I ran into Jack."

"Oh," he said.

"I just…you mean it when you say you don't care if I can't have kids?"

"Of course I do," he said.

"I mean while we're here its fine but what if we do get rescued and we leave this island and go back to our lives and a real job and all that would you still be ok with no kids?"

"You would stay with me after we left this island?" he asked.

"If you still wanted me," she said softly.

"How could I not," he said brushing her hair away from her face.

"You could want kids one day and then you'd realize being with me is a mistake because I can't give you that."

"No, I would never think you're a mistake."

"That's what Jack said."

"He's right," Sawyer told her and leaned over and kissed her. "I love you and that's not going to change."

"I love you to," she said.

* * *

When Natalie woke up the next morning Sawyer was still asleep. She smiled as she looked over at him. Then she got up and pulled her hair up in a ponytail and walked out of the tent to go find some fruit for breakfast. She climbed a tree and gathered some fruit for her and Sawyer. She made her way back to the beach and ran into Jack.

"Hey Jack," she said.

"Natalie, What are you doing?"

"Getting some fruit for breakfast," she answered as they walked back together.

"For you and Sawyer?"

"Yeah, he's still asleep," she told Jack. "I was thinking about what you said yesterday about me and Sawyer."

"Oh," Jack said.

"Sawyer and I have both done things we shouldn't have and that's just since we've been on the island," she told him. "and I know that when I was with Johnny I was headed for disaster, but I was so stubborn and refused to listen."

"I know," Jack said smiling.

"Its just Sawyer and I were talking and I told him about Johnny, what happened," she explained. "How I still remember how mad you were at Johnny, I've never seen you that mad."

"Of course I was mad Natalie, you might have your baby now if it wasn't for him."

"Yeah maybe," Natalie sighed. "But I still could have lost it anyway," she added.

"He was never good enough for you," Jack added. "You deserved so much better than Johnny I don't believe he ever really loved you, he cared to much about himself."

"That's probably true," she agreed. "I know you don't like Sawyer, the same way you didn't like Johnny…" she began but Jack interrupted.

"Yes I never liked Johnny from the minute I met him and yeah I don't like Sawyer that much either," Jack admitted. "But as much as I hate to admit it I do see the difference between Johnny and Sawyer."

"You do?" she asked surprised.

"Sawyer seems to have real, genuine feelings for you and seems to care about what happens to you," Jack said. "Something Johnny never did." He added. "I saw how he took care of you, how worried he was when you ran off, how he almost beat Scott to death for what he did to you. We've all been kind of shocked at the different person he is around you," he told her.

"Sawyer is different, I've never loved any guy as much as I love him," she said. "He makes me feel special."

"Well you deserve a guy to make you feel special even if its Sawyer."

"Thanks Jack," she said hugging him. "I'll see you later." She told him. "I love you to you know," she told him.

"Yeah I know and I love you," he said,

"I'll see you later," she said smiling.

"Ok," he said and she walked away.

* * *

When Natalie returned, Sawyer was awake.

"Morning," she said.

"Morning,' he replied and she sat down by him.

"I got some fruit," she said handing him a few pieces.

"Thanks," he said taking it and taking a bite. "So what took so long?"

"I wasn't gone that long," she said. "But I ran into Jack."

"Trying to convince you I'm not worth the time you spend on me?" Sawyer asked.

"Actually no," she said taking a bite of her fruit.

"Really?" Sawyer asked shocked.

"Yep," she said. "He said that you seem to have real, genuine feelings for me and seem to care about what happens to me which was something Johnny never did."

"That's because my feelings for you are real and I do love you," Sawyer said.

"I know," she said "And I love you to."

"And I don't know why," Sawyer sighed.

"Why do you say that?" she asked.

"I know I'm not the easiest person to like, to get along with and especially to love."

"That's the truth," Natalie said taking a bite of her fruit.

"Hey," Sawyer said.

"You said it I didn't it."

"But you agreed," he pointed out.

"So I agreed, but that doesn't mean I love you any less than I did before. I fall in love with you more and more each day." She said. "I don't care about what you've done."

"I know," he said. "Anyone else would have given up on me already," he added and Natalie laid her hand on top of his.

"Well I love you," she said.

"And I love you," Sawyer told her and he leaned over and kissed her.

* * *

A few days later Natalie and Sawyer were walking through the jungle together alone.

"I was thinking and there's no way Johnny could be here," she told him

"What would you do if he is here?" Sawyer asked.

"I have no idea," she admitted. "I don't want him to be here," she added. "Things are good right now."

"Good huh?" he asked.

"Like extremely good," she told him turning to face him.

"That's good to know," he said smiling.

"I love you," she said.

"How could you not," he said and Natalie's mouth flew open.

"I'm kidding I love you to," he told her.

"You better," she said hitting him playfully on the arm.

"Kiss me," she told him.

"Kiss you," he repeated.

"Yeah," she said softly running her hands up his chest and resting her hands on his shoulders. "Kiss me," she whispered.

"Well when you say it like that," he said. "How could I not," he added and pressed his lips to hers. Natalie sighed and slid her hands behind his neck as his hands slipped down her sides and rested on her waist. Natalie felt Sawyer's tongue run across her lips just as there was a rustling in the bushes.

"What was that?" Natalie asked pulling away.

"What?" Sawyer asked. "I didn't hear anything."

"I heard something," she told him.

"Probably just me," Sawyer said. "Fireworks maybe," he joked.

"Stop," she said hitting him against his chest. "It sounded like something in the bushes or walking"

"Well maybe its gone now," he said and kissed her again, but they heard the rustling sound again.

"You heard it," she said.

"Yeah I heard it," he told her.

"I wonder what…"

"Or who," Natalie added.

"Or who it is," he said and she leaned against him and grabbed his hand.

"I rather it be a who than a what, you can reason with a who," she said. "Maybe we should head back," she suggested

"Yeah maybe," he said and they turned around.

"What the hell!" Sawyer exclaimed.

"Oh my God!" Natalie yelled shocked as she stared into a familiar pair of blue eyes.


	34. Its Only the beginning

**A/N: I am going out of town today and I will be gone for a week so there won't be another update until I get back on June 2****nd**** . But I have chapters ready to be post as soon as I do get back so you won't have to wait. Anyway Thanks for the reviews, I hope you enjoy this chapter. I hope I have lots of reviews to read when I get back.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

"Hello Natalie,"

"You…You…how…" Natalie stuttered. "How are you here?" she asked.

"I don't even get a hello," he said.

"Johnny," she said. "I thought he was lying but he wasn't," she added.

"That's Johnny," Sawyer said looking at the guy standing in front of him. He was a few inches shorter than Sawyer, with dark hair and blue eyes. He looked a lot like Boone, except he wasn't as skinny.

"Yeah that's Johnny," she told him.

"I've been trying to wait for you to be alone," Johnny said. "But it looks like that's never going to happen." He added looking to Sawyer.

"I thought he was lying, but you really are here," she said shocked to see him.

"Of course I am," Johnny said calmly.

"Why did you tell them to give me some time?" she asked. "I don't want to be one of them," she added.

"Because I loved you once," he said.

"You never acted like it," she said.

"I know that," he said. "You deserved better than me," he added. "And you found him with Boone," Johnny said. "But him, he's not any better than me." He said gesturing to Sawyer.

"Yeah he is," she told him. "He's a lot better than you."

"How well do you really know him Natalie?" Johnny asked.

"Better than I ever knew you," she answered.

"You think so?" Johnny asked. "So you know that when he was in Sydney he..."

"Shot someone," she finished. "Yeah he told me." Johnny looked shocked.

"So you alson know that his name isn't even Sawyer..."

"It's James," she interrupted. "How long have you been here?" she asked.

"Four years," he told her.

"What could they possibly want with you?" she asked him.

"I can't tell you that," he answered.

"What do they want with me?"

"Well I want you," he said. "So they have a use for you."

"Oh they want me because of you," she said. "I don't believe you." She added. "I don't believe you really care about me," she told him. "Its because of you I lost my baby, I can't have kids now."

"Is this really about Gabbi?" Johnny asked annoyed. "You knew I never wanted to be a father."

"GRACIE!" Natalie yelled. "Her name was going to be Emma Grace and I was going to call her Gracie!" she exclaimed. "How could you not know that?"

"Natalie…"

"You're a horrible person." Natalie told him. "I don't want you anymore Johnny," she told him. "I think you probably ended anything we could have ever had when you caused me to fall down three flights of stairs."

"You don't actually think I meant to do that," he said surprised. "Natalie," he said taking a step towards her. she took a step back.

"Can't you just leave me alone?" she asked.

"No and they won't either," he said.

"I'm leaving," Natalie said and she turned and ran off. Sawyer glared at Johnny and then went after her.

"I'll see you again Natalie," he called after her. "This isn't over."

* * *

"Natalie," Sawyer called out as he was running to catch up with her. "Natalie slow down please," he said and she actually did.

"James," she said. "I have to tell Jack now," she told him.

"Shortcake," he said.

"He's going to be so mad, but there's no way around it, he has to know."

"I know baby," he said. "He's your brother and he'll understand," Sawyer added.

"I really hope so," she told him and leaned against him. He wrapped his arms around her.

"I'll go with you to talk to him," he said.

"Yeah I'd like that," she said looking up at him.

"Ok, lets do this then," he said and she nodded and pulled away from him and they walked to the Hatch to talk to Jack.

"You ok?" Sawyer asked.

"Yeah," Natalie said. "Let's go inside and get this over with."

"If that's what you want."

"Its what I have to do," she said and walked inside with Sawyer. Jack was standing by the table.

"Hey Jack," Natalie said and he looked up and saw Natalie with Sawyer.

"What do you need?"

"We need to talk," she said.

"With him here?" he asked.

"Yes Jack with Sawyer here," she said. "And you might want to sit down."

"You're not pregnant," he said.

"You know that's not possible," she said.

"Just asking," he said and he walked over to the computer and sat down in the chair.

"Ok so what's going on?"

"Don't freak out but Sawyer and I were walking through the jungle and we were talking and we heard this rustling in the bushes, like someone was following us, watching us."

"Someone watching you, you sure it wasn't the wind?" Jack asked.

"No we heard it more than once and when we decided to walk away we turned around and there was someone in front of us."

"You know this person?" Jack asked.

"It was Johnny," she said.

"Johnny," Jack repeated shocked. "Johnny as in the guy you used to date Johnny?" he asked. "The reason you lost Gracie, Johnny," he said. "That Johnny."

"Yes Jack that would be the Johnny I'm talking about. That's the only one I know."

"How is he here?"

"I don't know Jack, but he is." She said. "Sawyer saw him to," she added. "We talked to him." She said and Jack looked over at Sawyer.

"Yeah I saw him," He snapped.

"You think he'll try to contact you, approach you again?" Jack asked Natalie, standing up.

"Of course he will," Sawyer answered.

"I think he might try," she said "He yelled out 'I'll see you again, this isn't over' as I ran off.," she told him and ran her fingers through her hair. "He even went as far as to say he was waiting for me to be alone but I seemed to never be alone so he took a chance and approached me when I was with Sawyer."

"Why don't you tell me what you're not telling me," Jack said and Natalie sighed and walked a few steps away, both men watched her.

"When I crashed here, most of the people were killed in the crash. I think around twenty survived. Anyway I ventured alone into the jungle one day to get fruit," she told them. "I was approached by one of them and they wanted me to come live with them and I had no clue who they were or anything so I of course said no," she added.

"And they let you walk away just like that?" Jack asked in disbelief.

"Yeah and I thought they would have tried to kill me by now but it seems as if Johnny is the reason they didn't and maybe something else I don't know about."

"Did Johnny tell you this?" Jack asked.

"Yeah he did and he said he did it because he loved me once."

"He never loved you," Jack said.

"I know," she sighed "and I asked Johnny what the Others wanted with me and he said that he wanted me so they had use for me."

"Ok," Jack said. "So you don't go anywhere alone," he said. "Whether it's a walk or a shower."

"Jack, I deserve privacy to shower."

"Someone will walk with you, not watch you or anything. They'll stay a few feet away," he said. "Also I'm going to have some people help look out for you besides me and Sawyer."

"Who?"

"Kate, Sayid," he said.

"And we have to include Sayid?" Sawyer asked.

"Well he's smart and trained it would be stupid not to."

"Oh alright," Sawyer agreed but Natalie looked at him knowing why he didn't want to agree.

"Jack we don't need to go through all this," she told him.

"Yes we do," he argued.

"Maybe if I just talk to him alone…" she began.

"NO WAY!" Sawyer and Jack yelled.

"Whatever then," she sighed. "I'm leaving or do I need to ask permission for that?" she snapped.

"No Natalie you don't and don't take that tone with me, I'm just trying to look out for you."

"I know," she said and turned around and walked away.

"Well I should go after her," Sawyer said.

"Yeah I think so to," Jack said and Sawyer turned and walked away.

* * *

"Natalie," he said. "Slow down," he called out speeding up to catch her. "Natalie," he said.

Sawyer finally caught up with Natalie and she looked over at him.

"I was never supposed to see Johnny again," she told him. "That part of my life is supposed to be over." She said and the tears she had been holding back fell.

"Shortcake," he said and wrapped his arms around her. "We'll figure something out," he whispered. "And we'll be looking out for you," he said.

"I know," she said and looked up at him. "And I also know why you don't want Sayid involved," she added. "But that's not going to happen again," she assured him. "I love you."

"You know I love you to," he said. "But you slept with him once."

"And it was just sex and I knew it was a mistake, especially when it was over, I knew I should have never done it, but I did and I thought you had moved past it."

"I have but I just know that you're going to wake up one day and realize everything with me is a mistake."

"James," she said. "Never," she told him. "I don't regret anything I've done with you," she said reaching up to touch his face. "I only want to get closer and closer to you," she said softly. "I love you," she told him. "And I don't see that ever changing."

"I love you to," he said and kissed her gently on the lips. "And if we need Sayid to help keep you safe then ok. All that matters is keeping you safe," he said and she smiled. "But only I can walk you to shower."

"Oh yeah definitely," she said smiling and they walked back to the beach.

* * *

Natalie and Sawyer were sitting by his tent when Jack walked onto the beach with Kate. He walked over to them.

"Hey," Jack said and they both looked up. "We're going to talk to Sayid," he added

"Alright," Natalie sighed and they stood up and followed him and Kate to Sayid.

"Sayid," Jack said and he turned around and looked. "We need to talk to you about something."

"What's going on?" Sayid asked.

"Earlier today someone approached Natalie when her and Sawyer were in the jungle," Jack said.

"Someone?" Kate asked. "Like just a stranger or…"

"I knew him," Natalie said. "A guy I dated back home," she added.

"Is that it, you just dated him?" Sayid asked and Natalie looked over at Jack.

"We dated and I got pregnant," she said. "I ended up losing the baby after having a fight with him."

"It was his fault," Jack said angrily. "You fell down three flights of stairs," he added.

"That's over now Jack," Natalie told him. "Anyway his name's Johnny,"

"And I just want help keeping an eye out for Natalie and I thought of you two, I trust you two," Jack said.

"Whatever we can do to help," Kate said.

"Of course," Sayid agreed.

"Thanks," Jack said and walked away with Kate. Sayid turned to Natalie and Sawyer.

"You're sure I'm the best person for this job?" Sayid asked.

"Its fine Sayid, Sawyer knows everything anyway," she told him.

"Alright, just let me know if I can help," Sayid said and walked away.

"You don't think Jack is getting a little carried away?" Natalie asked turning to Sawyer.

"No I don't," he answered. "He's looking out for you and trying to keep you safe and whatever it takes to keep you safe is what I'll do," he told her.


	35. Five minutes alone

**A/N: Well I'm back from my vacation now. I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Over the next week Natalie felt as if she was being suffocated. She couldn't go anywhere without someone with her. If she went to the bathroom someone was there, if she went to shower someone was there, if she wanted to go for a walk someone went with her. Was it too much to ask for five minutes of alone time, of course right now she's settle for two minutes or even thirty seconds. It was starting to put a strain on her relationship with Sawyer as well. Natalie was sitting with Sawyer on the beach today. She had button duty tonight and Jack had tried to talk her out of it but she refused to listen to him. Natalie stood up and Sawyer stood up as well.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"I thought I might go for a walk," she said.

"I'll go with you then," he said.

"I thought I might go by myself," she said hopefully.

"You shouldn't," he said. "I need to go with you," he told her.

"Fine I won't go then," she said and sat back down. Sawyer looked down at her.

"Are you ok?" he asked concerned and she looked up at him and stood up.

"Am I ok?" she asked. "Am I ok?" she repeated. "No James I am not ok!" she exclaimed. "No I am not ok!" she yelled. "All I want is like two minutes to myself but I can't even get that anymore. Every time I go somewhere someone's there and I've had enough, I can't do this anymore," she told him trying to stop the tears from falling.

"I know this has to be hard for you and that you don't like being told what to do and having to have someone with you all the time but I don't want anything to happen to you," he told her. "I love you," he told her.

"I love you to," she told him. "But this is crazy," she said. "Its ruining everything," she told him. "Ever since we saw Johnny everything's changed."

"I know things are stressful and difficult for you right now," Sawyer said. "But hopefully it will be over soon."

"Its never going to be over!" she yelled. "As long as everyone keeps following me around Johnny might never approach me again and if he doesn't approach me it will never be over!" she exclaimed and the tears she had been holding back fell.

"Shortcake," he whispered and wiped her tears away. "We're going to figure out something," he told her and she leaned against him and he wrapped his arms around her and held her.

Jack heard Natalie yell and he walked over.

"Natalie," Jack said. "Is everything alright?" he asked concerned.

"I'm fine Jack," she told him not looking at him.

"I want the truth Natalie."

"The truth," she said pulling away from Sawyer. "The truth is I'm tired of being followed by someone everywhere I go!" she shouted. "I would love two minutes alone," she told him. "This is never going to be over so I don't need someone with me every minute of every day,:" she explained. "If you don't let me be alone Johnny will never approach me again and this will never be over."

"Natalie, I just want you to be ok," Jack said. "and you make a good point…" he added.

"But what Jack?" she asked.

"However, I don't want anything to happen to you and I don't want to bury another one of them," he said.

"I know Jack, but we have to do something besides all this," she said. "At least think about it, please."

"Alright," he agreed.

"Now I'm going to shower," she said and grabbed Sawyer's hand. "Let's go," she added.

"You can go to the hatch," he told her and she nodded.

"That's where I was headed, I'm up for button duty tonight anyway and Sawyer's going to stay with me," she said.

"Ok," Jack said and Natalie looked at Jack and let go of Sawyer's hand. "I love you Jack."

"I love you to Natalie," he said and she hugged him.

"Now Sawyer and I have to go," she told him and went inside Sawyer's tent.

"How is everything?" Jack asked Sawyer.

"It's good, she's ok," Sawyer said. "She just hates being told what to do."

"She always has," Jack said smiling. "Just both of you be careful tonight, I didn't want her to do button duty, I tried to talk her out of it."

"She's stubborn," Sawyer said.

"Oh yeah definitely," Jack agreed. "But she always has been since she was a kid."

"I bet," Sawyer said smiling.

"Just look after her," Jack said.

"I'm not going to let anything happen to her you know that don't you?" he asked.

"Yeah I know," he sighed.

"I'll take care of her I promise," he told Jack. "I'd die before I let anything happen to her." Sawyer added and Natalie walked out of the tent.

"Here's your bag," she said handing it to Sawyer.

"Thanks," he said and Natalie put her bag on her back and Sawyer did the same with his.

"I'll see you later Jack," Natalie said.

"You two be careful," Jack said.

* * *

Natalie and Sawyer walked to the Hatch in silence. When they got to the hatch Natalie and Sawyer sat their bags down and let the guy who was there return to the beach.

"Well its just you and me," Natalie said letting out a heavy sigh.

"Yep just you and me," Sawyer said smiling and the computer beeped. Natalie put in the numbers.

"Well I 'm going to shower," she said and stood up and started undressing. Sawyer watched her. She grabbed a towel and walked over to the shower, she turned the water on and stepped inside. Sawyer looked over to the shower, Natalie had just put the code in so they had a while. He smiled as an idea ran through his head and he quickly undressed and stepped in the shower behind her.

Natalie felt a pair of hands run over her body. She closed her eyes and leaned against him.

"James," she sighed and he kissed her neck and ran his tongue across her neck.

"I miss you," she whispered. "I feel like we've been drifting apart ever since Johnny showed up," she told him.

"I know," he whispered and she turned around and looked at him. Sawyer kissed her.

"I love you and I'm going to take care of you, I promise," he told her.

"I know and I love you to," she said and he kissed her again. Sawyer pulled away and pressed his forehead to hers.

"I say we end this shower," Sawyer whispered and she nodded and he reached around her and turned the water off. Then he stepped out and grabbed the towel and wrapped it around her. Natalie started to dry off, Sawyer stood behind her.

"Natalie," he whispered and kissed her bare shoulder. "I love you." He said gently. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone."

"And you still want me?" she asked hopefully.

"Of course I do," he said. "How could you even ask that?" she turned around.

"Just because you love me doesn't mean you want me. You could just be with me out of a need to keep me safe because of Johnny," she said. "Just because you love me doesn't mean you think I'm beautiful."

"Hey," he said. "I still want you more and more everyday," he said softly. "I could never find you anything less than beautiful," he said smiling and she smiled back and he kissed her lips, then her cheek and her neck. His hands slid slowly and gently down her arms and he took her right hand in his and brought it to her lips. He kissed each of her fingertips before intertwining their fingers together and doing the same with the other hand. Then he kissed her lips again and slowly backed her to the bunk beds. Natalie felt the back of her legs hit the bed and she opened her eyes and looked up at Sawyer.

"You want to do this?" he asked looking down at her.

"Yes," she whispered and he kissed her again and Natalie laid on the bed and Sawyer joined her and he kissed her. Natalie sighed as she felt Sawyer's bare body touch hers. Why did it seem like it had been forever? Natalie moaned as Sawyer ran his tongue along her neck and Natalie ran her hands across his back.

"James," she moaned. "I don't know how much longer I can wait."

"Me either," he whispered and kissed her again.

* * *

Natalie and Sawyer were laying next to each other now.

"I mean it you know," he said quietly.

"You mean what?" she asked.

"When I say I love you," he told her and she rolled over so she was facing him. "I love you more than I've ever loved anyone, I mean that," he told her. "I didn't know it was possible to love someone this much."

"Well I love you to, so much," she told him. "There isn't a word to describe how much I love you. A lot just doesn't cover it," she told him brushing a stray hair out of his face.

"I'd do anything for you," he whispered. "You know that don't you?"

"Yeah I do and that's what scares me," she admitted.

"Why?" he asked confused.

"I don't want anything to happen to you, I'd never forgive myself if you got hurt or worse because of me," she told him. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"You survived without me most of your life," he pointed out.

"I know but now that you are in my life, I never want you out of it," she told him.

"Well I don't plan on going anywhere," he said and kissed her.

"I feel the same way you know," she told Sawyer. "I'd do anything for you." She said as the computer beeped. "I have to get that," she told him and hopped out of the bed and quickly typed the code in and made sure the counter flipped back to 108. Then she slid back next to Sawyer.

"As much as I love laying here with you maybe we should get dressed," Sawyer suggested. "What if someone comes by."

"You're right," she said. "We need to change the sheets as well," she told him "and clean up a bit."

"You're right," he said.

"Ok I'm getting up," she said and stood up, Sawyer got up as well and they cleaned up and got dressed and then changed the sheets. Natalie washed the sheets and Sawyer sat behind the computer as she put clean sheets on the bed. Then she walked over to Sawyer and sat in his lap.

"Don't worry I didn't need your help at all," she teased and kissed him.

"Well I figured if you did you'd tell me to get off my lazy ass," he said smiling and she laughed and slid her arms around his neck.

"I would have," she told him and kissed his lips, she pulled away and placed a kiss at the corner of his mouth, and placing small kisses along his jaw. Sawyer closed his eyes and sighed. Natalie pulled away and got off his lap.

"Where are you going?" he asked grabbing her hand.

"No where," she told him. "I just need to get more comfortable," she told him and straddled his lap and pressed her forehead to his.

"Better?" he asked.

"Yep," she smiled and kissed his neck and then flicked her tongue out behind his ear and she felt his hands slid down her body and grab her hips. Natalie kissed him again and ran her tongue across his lips and Sawyer opened his mouth. Natalie slipped her tongue in his mouth and when her tongue touched his she heard him let out a deep moan. Sawyer slipped his hands under her shirt. Natalie felt his hands against her flesh and pulled away as he ran his hands up her back. Natalie smiled and kissed him again. Sawyer ran his hands across her stomach and up her body. He smiled as he realized she wasn't wearing a bra and rubbed his hands over her breasts. Natalie ran her hands through his hair and smiled at him and then kissed him again but they were soon interrupted as someone walked in.

"I'm sorry." They said and Natalie and Sawyer looked over.

"What are you doing Jack?" Natalie asked.

"Checking on you two before it gets to late," he said.

"We're fine Jack," Natalie said and climbed off Sawyer's lap. "You didn't have to come and check on us," she added.

"I know," he said.

"You worry to much," Natalie told him. "You always have."

"I know," he sighed.

"I'm going to be ok," she said. "Take care of yourself for a change Jack."

"Natalie…"

"Jack I'm serious. Stop worrying about me and everyone else and worry about yourself for a change," she told him. "You need to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of anyone else," she told him and walked over to him. "So before you start in on me being careful and taking care of myself and all that you take care of yourself. That includes getting enough sleep. You look horrible." She said. "You need to go rest."

"Fine I'll go rest," he sighed. "just be careful, both of you." He added.

"We will Jack," she told him and he nodded and left. Natalie sighed and walked back over to Sawyer and straddled his lap again.

"Now where were we before Jack interrupted," Natalie said and kissed his neck.

"Yeah about right there," Sawyer moaned and Natalie started to suck on his neck. Natalie flicked her tongue behind his ear and then started to suck on his ear lobe. Natalie pulled away and pulled his shirt off and threw it across the room before kissing him again. Natalie felt Sawyer run his hands across her back and then down her back to the waist of her pants and ran his hands under her shirt before tugging it off and dropping it to the floor. Sawyer placed kisses down her neck until Natalie pulled away and stood up. She grabbed his hands.

"Get up," she demanded and he did. Natalie quickly undid his jeans and pushed them down while Sawyer pushed her pants to the floor and they both stepped out of their pants and Natalie led him to the bed.


	36. Stubbornness

**A/N: I really enjoyed my vacation and I so didn't want to come back and go to work. We went to Florida to Disney and Universal. Anyway I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Natalie looked over at Sawyer.

"I just changed these sheets," she told him.

"Hey, you're the one that pulled me over here," he told her. "We would have been just fine in the chair."

"Well I'm glad I volunteered for button duty tonight and that you decided to stay with me tonight."

"Yeah me to," Sawyer agreed and he moved over and kissed her.

"Should we get up?" she asked.

"Probably," he told her.

"Alright," she sighed. "Lets get up."

* * *

Natalie and Sawyer got out of bed and got dressed and Natalie sat behind the computer so she could push the button.

"Do you really believe that pushing a button is going to save the world?" Natalie asked him.

"I don't know if I believe it or not but everyone else seems to," Sawyer told her as he sat down by her.

"It just sounds like some weird kind of experiment to me," Natalie told him.

"Yeah I guess it does," Sawyer agreed.

"I mean what if that is what this Dharma was," she said. "A group of people doing experiments. I mean you have polar bears, this hatch that was in the ground. I mean Desmond really believed he was saving the world and that if he didn't take shots he'd get sick," she said. "Maybe he was saving the world but I don't know," she sighed.

"No one knows and they won't ever know unless that button isn't pushed," Sawyer told her.

"Yep," she agreed.

* * *

The next morning Sawyer and Natalie walked back to the beach.

"So did everything go ok at the hatch last night?" Jack asked when he saw them.

"Better than ok," Natalie told him. "Nothing unusual happened," she told him.

"Good," Jack sighed.

"Everything's ok Jack, everything will be fine," she told him. "I'm going to go get something to eat."

"Alright," he said. "I need to ask Sawyer something anyway."

"I don't want to know," she said and walked off.

"What is it?" Sawyer asked when Natalie was gone.

"You're with Natalie all the time," Jack said. "So I was thinking with the possibility of Johnny popping up at any minute, you might need something if things get out of hand."

"Like what?" Sawyer asked sensing Jack had something in mind.

"This," Jack said pulling out one of the guns.

"You're giving me a gun?" Sawyer asked shocked.

"Yes but only to use if you need it," he said. "Can I trust you to do that?"

"Yes you can," he said and Jack handed him the gun. Sawyer took it and put it in the back of his pants.

"Here," Jack said and handed him some extra bullets. "Don't let her know I gave it to you, she'll get all mad." Jack said. "You know how she can be."

"I know," he said. "Thanks." He added and Jack nodded and walked away.

* * *

Sawyer went to his tent hoping to get the gun and bullets put away before Natalie saw it. When he went inside his tent he saw she wasn't there yet so he quickly hid it in a box and put the bullets with hit and threw some clothes and books over it. He had just walked outside when Natalie walked over with breakfast.

"Here," she said and sat down with breakfast.

"Thanks," he said and sat down by her.

"So did Jack have anything interesting to say?" Natalie asked.

"Not really," Sawyer said. "Just checking up on you."

"Because he didn't believe me when I told him I was ok," she said.

"Its not that he didn't he didn't believe you, its just that he knows you wouldn't tell him if something was wrong."

"That's not true," she yelled..

"It is Natalie," he said calmly.

"Its not James and I'm not arguing about it," she said in a final tone.

"You never tell him when something is wrong unless you have to," Sawyer pointed out.

"He has enough to deal with without having to worry about me," She told him. "And since when do you get along with Jack."

"Since I have to. To keep you safe."

"I'll be fine," Natalie said. "I don't need anyone to protect me," she told him and stood up. "And I'm going for a walk alone, don't follow me," she told him and walked off. Sawyer watched her walk away. She got a good distance away before he got the gun and followed her.

* * *

Natalie knew she shouldn't have yelled at Sawyer. He was looking out for her and she knew that but things were a little frustrating for her right now. She guessed things might be frustrating for Sawyer and Jack as well. Its just sometimes she wished they would just leave her alone. She loved Sawyer and Jack both just in different ways of course. She continued walking not really paying attention to anything around her. She stopped when she heard someone following her. She stopped and looked around but didn't see anything. She kept walking and heard something in the bushes behind her. She hoped it was just Sawyer making sure she was ok, she knew he'd be to stubborn to listen to her and not follow her. She just kept walking and heard something move again when she did. She stopped and bent down and picked up a stick and two rocks. She threw the stick first and it hit something. She heard a muffled sound. Then she threw both rocks one after the other.

"Ouch! Damn It!" someone yelled and Sawyer came walking out.

"I knew it was you, I told you not to follow me," Natalie said angrily.

"If you knew it was me why did you throw rocks at me?" he asked.

"Serves you right for following me," she said crossing her arms. Sawyer looked down at her.

"I wanted to make sure you were ok," he said and Natalie looked up at him.

"And that makes it ok?" she asked.

"I love you," Sawyer said she smiled.

"Yeah I know," she sighed. "I love you to," she said and took a step closer to him and laid her head on his chest and wrapped her arms around him. He hugged her back. "Did I hurt you?" she asked.

"I'm fine but I can't believe you threw rocks at me," he said and she pulled away and looked at him.

"Well believe it," she said smiling. "You shouldn't have followed me, I asked you not to."

"No you told me not to," he corrected her. "You know how much I hate being told what to do."

"Almost as much as I hate being told what to do," she said. "I'll be fine, you don't have to follow me everywhere."

"You don't think I know you can take care of yourself and that you don't really need me," He sighed.

"James," she said touching his face. "Just because I can take care of myself doesn't mean I don't need you," she said softly. "I still need you and want you." She whispered gently taking his hands in hers. "I love you to much to ever let you go," she told him and he smiled and kissed her.

"Lets go," he said and she nodded and they walked back to the beach.

Sawyer and Natalie walked back to the beach and sat outside their tent. Sawyer looked over at her.

"So," he said. "Are you the type of girl who would have settled down and got married if you hadn't crashed here?"

"Yeah I think so," she said. "If a guy would have wanted to marry me," she added. "A lot of guys want children and I can't give them that," she said and looked at Sawyer. "Plus most of the guys I dated were not the marrying type anyway."

"Like who?"

"Johnny, definitely not. Boone maybe he would have gotten married, maybe he wouldn't," she said. "And you."

"Me," he said.

"Yeah of course, you seem like the type of guy who would never get married."

"Never," he said raising his eyebrows.

"Well unless it was part of a con," she said.

"You're right," he said. "I probably wouldn't have gotten married," he sighed. "But if I did marry someone it would be you."

"Even though you would never get a kid out of it?" she asked.

"Kids are not a big deal for me, I don't have to have a kid," he told her. "Why is it such a big deal for you?"

"Because that's what women do, have children," she said. "And I don't say that like its all women do because its not," she said holding her hands out. "Women do great things, have great jobs and careers and all that," she sighed. "But God gave women the ability to have children, that's something men can't do. Women have the ability to give birth to children and I can't even do that," she said upset.

"Hey," Sawyer said. "It doesn't mean anyone thinks any less of you or anything," he told her. "Would you think any less of me if I couldn't get a woman pregnant?"

"No, that would be ridiculous," she said.

"Ok and no one here thinks any less of you because you can't have kids."

"You and Jack are the only ones who know," she told him.

"Still you know what I'm saying."

"Yeah I do," she said. "And thanks."

"We're going to figure out how to end this with Johnny," Sawyer told her and she looked over at him. "I'm a lot like him you know. When I see the way he acted I can see myself in him." He sighed.

"I don't," Natalie said. "I may have said you and Johnny were similar a long time ago but you're really not."

"You don't think so?" he asked.

"No," she told him.

"Why?"

"Because Johnny would have bailed on me a long time ago and you're still here," she said.

"And I'm not going anywhere," he told her and she looked at him and smiled.

"Uh-oh," she said.

"What is it?" he asked.

"You're getting a little bump on your head from where the rock hit you," she told him moving his hair away from his forehead.

"Are you serious?" he asked.

"Yeah," she said running her fingers gently across his forehead. "I'm sorry."

"Its ok, I shouldn't have followed you when you told me not to," he said.

"No you shouldn't have but I understand why you did," she told him. "I would have done the same thing."

"Because you're stubborn," Sawyer said.

"Ok I'm stubborn but so are you," She told him.

"My best quality don't you think?" he asked and she looked at him.

"Hardly," she said. "I can think of plenty of other better qualities," she said and leaned over and kissed his lips. "You're a wonderful guy," she said and kissed his neck. "A great kisser," she added and kissed his lips. "You're good in bed," she said kissing his neck. "Do I need to go on?"

"No," he said. "I get it," he added and leaned over and kissed her.


	37. What's that

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review. This is a very short chapter but I'm kind of stuck right now on where to go next. I know what's going to happen I just have to find a way to write it. Oh well enjoy the short chapter. **

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

"Want to go for a walk?" Sawyer asked Natalie the next afternoon.

"Yeah," she said smiling and Sawyer took her hand in his and they walked off into the jungle.

"I like being alone with you," Natalie said looping her arm through his. "And I know how difficult I can be sometimes," she added.

"No more difficult than I am," he said and she smiled at him.

"It's a nice day," she said. "Hot as always but nice."

"Yeah I guess it is," Sawyer agreed and Natalie stopped walking and turned to face him. She ran her hands up his chest and wrapped them around his neck and looked up at him. Sawyer smirked down at her and she hated when he gave her that smirk cause all she wanted to do was throw him down on the ground and rip all his clothes off.

"You want something?" he asked in a whisper.

"Maybe," she teased smiling up at him and running her fingers through his hair. He leaned down and kissed her. Natalie sighed and leaned into his kiss as he wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. Natalie felt Sawyer run his hands down her body resting them on her ass. Natalie let her hands play with the ends of his hair and she slowly ran her hands down his back and when she got to the waistband of his jeans she felt something hard and pulled away.

"What is that?" Natalie asked looking up at him in bewilderment.

"What are you talking about?" Sawyer asked hoping to get her mind off of the fact that he had a gun tucked into the waistband of his jeans. He kissed her again. Natalie pulled away.

"What is that in your jeans?" she asked him.

"Damn, I thought you knew what that was by now," he said.

"James that was not what I was talking about," she said and she went to run her hands under his shirt but he grabbed them.

"Look don't worry about what that is," he told her and she pulled her hands out of his grasp.

"I want to know the truth James," she said and she ran her hands under his shirt and pulled the gun out of the waistband of his pants.

"A gun," she said. "Where did you get a gun?" she asked.

"Jack gave it to me," he told her.

"Jack gave you a gun," she said in disbelief.

"Yes because I'm with you all the time," he told her and took the gun back from her.

"So Jack just gave you a gun?" she asked.

"Yes he did," Sawyer told her as he tucked the gun back in the waistband of his pants. "And hopefully I'll never have to use it."

"I hope not," she whispered. "You were never going to tell me about the gun?"

"Well I know how you can react to things and there was no need to upset you if I didn't have to."

"Ok," she sighed. "I know I tend to over react sometimes," she added. "So I guess I can understand your reluctance to tell me but you could have told me anyway."

"I know that," he told her. "But what good would it have done, you would have gotten mad."

"Am I mad now?" she asked him and he looked at her.

"You don't seem to be." He sighed. "Its really important that I keep you safe, that I don't let Johnny get near you," he told her. "This is one thing I don't want to fail at."

"You've kept me safe so far," she said smiling. "There's no one else I feel more safe with than you." She added. "I trust that you know what you're doing."

"I'm glad someone does because I have no idea what I'm doing," Sawyer admitted. "I just know I'm doing everything I can to make sure nothing happens to you."


	38. Johnny Returns

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review. I'm trying to wrap this up and I think I'll be finished by two more chapters, I'm running out of ideas and i wanted to wrap it up anyway.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

"Sawyer you're doing a great job, but don't feel like you have to take care of me," she told him.

"I want to take care of you," he said. "I'm not doing it because I have to." He added. "I'm doing it because I love you."

"I love you to," she said smiling.

"Let's get back," he said but they were stopped.

"Don't move," someone said.

"Johnny, don't," Natalie told him as he wrapped one arm around his neck and held the gun to his head with his free hand.

"Natalie come with me and I won't hurt your boyfriend," he said.

"Don't do it Natalie," Sawyer told her.

Natalie looked at Sawyer and Johnny not sure what to do. She didn't want to go anywhere with Johnny but she knew if she didn't he might kill Sawyer.

"Don't listen to him Natalie," Johnny told her.

"Johnny killing Sawyer isn't going to make me like you, make me love you again. It will only make me hate you more," she told him.

"But you'll learn to deal with everything and we can be happy," Johnny said.

"Oh you're crazy," Natalie said.

"You better hope you're wrong," Johnny said. "For his sake," he added tightening his grip on Sawyer. and Sawyer kicked him in the shins and Johnny's grip loosened enough for Sawyer to get out of his grasp but Johnny swung at him and missed and him and Sawyer started to fight.

"Stop!" Natalie yelled. "Both of you stop it," she yelled again but they continued to fight, Sawyer's gun came out of the back of his pants and fell on the ground. Natalie looked at it. Neither of the guys noticed. Natalie quickly grabbed it. She didn't really know how to use a gun she looked at it and knew it had a safety, she found what she hoped was the safety and turned it off. Johnny had Sawyer in a headlock again.

"Let him go," Natalie demanded pointing the gun at them.

"You shoot me and I shoot him," Johnny told her.

"I don't believe you," she told him.

"You don't even know how to use a gun Natalie," Johnny said. "The safety probably isn't even off," he added. "It probably isn't loaded."

"Oh lets just see," she said and pointed the gun at a tree and pulled the trigger. It went off.

"Now, you believe the gun is loaded and that I can use it," she told him.

* * *

Back on the beach Jack and Sayid were talking when they heard a gunshot.

"Did you hear that?" Jack asked.

"Sounded like a gunshot," Sayid said and they quickly grabbed a gun and ran off in the direction of the gunshot.

* * *

"But I don't believe you will use it Natalie," Johnny said. "You loved me once," he added.

"Yeah but I don't anymore," she told him.

"You could hit him instead," Johnny said. "You really want to risk his life just to kill me."

"No," Natalie said.

"Don't lower the gun Natalie," Sawyer told her. "Don't worry about me," he added.

"Johnny just let him go," Natalie said. "He has nothing to do with us."

"He's standing in the way of us," Johnny said.

"No he's not Johnny because even if I weren't with him I still wouldn't want to be with you," she told him. "Johnny can't you just please drop this and leave us alone."

"Natalie," he said and he tightened his grip and pointed the gun at Sawyer's head again.

"Johnny!" she yelled. "Please don't hurt him," she pleaded.

"Why?" he asked.

"Because I love him," she told him.

"More than you loved me?" he asked.

"More than I ever loved you or ever could love," she said.

"You were going to have my baby," he told her.

"A baby you wanted nothing to do with, that I lost because of you," she said getting upset.

"Natalie," he said as Sawyer struggled to try and get away. Sawyer managed to move a little and Johnny tried to get him before he got away but they started to fight again. Natalie watched both of them as they fought. Johnny punched Sawyer and he punched him back.

"Johnny," she said and they both looked they were really close together. "Stop it both of you," she told them.

"How about no," he said. "I'm just going to kill him," he said

"Johnny," she said and he pointed the gun at Sawyer and Natalie pointed her gun back at Johnny and two gunshots went off.


	39. Aftermath

**A/N: I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review. I'm trying to wrap this up. **

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Natalie looked around Johnny and Sawyer were both on the ground. She dropped her gun and ran over to Sawyer.

"Sawyer," she said tears running down her cheeks. "Sawyer," she said pushing him over. He coughed.

"Natalie," he whispered.

"Are you ok?" she asked. "He didn't shoot you," she added.

"No he didn't shoot me and I'm fine," he told her and sat up and pulled her into a hug. They looked over at Johnny and moved over to him.

"He's dead," Sawyer said. "You shot him twice," he added and tears ran down Natalie's cheeks.

"I've never killed anyone," she said and Sawyer pulled her into a hug and that's how Jack and Sayid found them. Sayid walked over to Johnny and knelt down.

"He's dead," he told Jack. "This is Johnny?"

"Yeah," Jack told him. "What happened?" he asked.

"Natalie shot him," Sawyer told him, Natalie was still sobbing in his arms.

"Do you think you could explain everything to me?" Jack asked.

"Sure, but can we get her somewhere first?" he asked. "And what about him?"

"I guess we'll bury him after we get Natalie back," Jack said.

"Come on Natalie," Sawyer whispered. "We're going back to the beach."

"Ok," she said and her and Sawyer stood up.

* * *

When they got back to the beach Sawyer took her to their tent and laid her down. Jack walked over to her. 

"Natalie," he said.

"I really messed up didn't I?"

"Its ok, we're going to fix it," he told her.

"Don't you get tired of fixing everything?" she asked.

"Its what I do best," he told her. "Will you stay with Kate while me, Sayid and Sawyer go and fix everything?"

"If you think that's best."

"Alright," Jack said. "I'm going to get Kate, she can sit with her while we sort this out," he added and left. Sawyer sat down by her.

"You're ok?" she asked him.

"I'm fine Natalie," he said.

"Ok," she said quietly.

* * *

Jack returned with Kate and him, Sayid and Sawyer left. 

"OK tell us what happened," Jack said.

Sawyer explained everything about Johnny holding a gun to his head and him and Johnny fighting and her getting the gun he had and how Natalie had shot Johnny because he was about to shoot him.

"Do you think he would have shot you?" Sayid asked.

"I think he would have eventually," Sawyer said. "He had that crazy look in his eyes." he added. "I hope she'll be ok," Sawyer said as they returned to where Johnny was, he was still there.

"Well I guess we should start digging," Jack said and the three of them began to dig a hole.

* * *

Kate made herself comfortable in the tent with Natalie. She found a book and opened it and began to read. She figured if Natalie wanted to talk she would. Kate looked up from her book a few minutes later and saw Natalie was asleep. Kate sighed and went back to her book. She had no idea what happened, Jack didn't know the whole story yet just that something happened with Natalie and he needed her to sit with Natalie until him, Sawyer and Sayid got back. Natalie started tossing and turning in her sleep. Kate looked up. 

"No!" he said. "Johnny." Kate looked over to her.

"Don't hurt him," she pleaded. Kate went over to Natalie.

"Natalie," she said. "Natalie," she said a little louder.

"Johnny," she said and Kate shook her.

"Natalie," she said.

"Sawyer!" Natalie yelled sitting up. She frantically looked around and her eyes landed on Kate.

"Sawyer," she said shaking. "Where's Sawyer?"

"He'll be back soon, he's with Jack and Sayid," Kate said. "He's fine."

"No," she said shaking her head.

"I promise Natalie, he'll be back soon," Kate told her. "But I'll be here with you until he gets back." She said and Natalie nodded.

* * *

It was late when Sawyer returned and Natalie was asleep. Sawyer cleaned up a little and then went to their tent. Kate was still with Natalie and she was sleeping. 

"How is she?" Sawyer asked concerned.

"She's asleep now, but Sawyer I don't know, she had a bad dream while you were gone."

"Thank you for staying with her," Sawyer said.

"Of course, you're welcome," Kate said and left.

* * *

Sawyer sat by Natalie and pushed her hair away from her face. Her eyes fluttered open. 

"Sawyer," she said sitting up and throwing her arms around him. Sawyer wrapped his arms around her. "Where have you been?"

"We went to bury Johnny," Sawyer told her.

"I didn't mean to kill him. I didn't want to kill him," she said.

"I know you didn't," Sawyer said softly.

"He would have killed you," Natalie said. "I know he would have."

"Its ok," Sawyer told her.

"I couldn't let him just kill you and not do anything about it," she told him. "I don't know what I'd do without you."

"Natalie everything will be ok," he told her. "I love you."

"I love you to," she said.

* * *

A few minutes later Jack stopped by to check on Natalie. 

"Natalie," he said and she looked over at him.

"Hey Jack," she said quietly.

"How are you doing?"

"I'm ok considering I shot someone today," she told him.

"Natalie," Jack sighed. "You did what anyone else would do if they were in your position," he told her. "You were protecting someone you loved, I would have done the same thing."

"No you wouldn't have," she said. "You would have figured out a way without shooting someone."

"Natalie," Jack said.

"I'm going to try to get some rest," she said laying down. Jack looked over at Sawyer and stood up. Sawyer followed him outside the tent.

"Just give her some time, she'll be ok," Sawyer told him.

"You'll be here with her," Jack said.

"You actually think I would leave her now?" he asked. "I'm not going anywhere, I'll stay with her."

"Good," Jack said. "I'll check on her again later," he added and walked off. Sawyer went back inside the tent.


	40. Forever

**A/N: Alright everyone this is the last chapter. I hope you've enjoyed reading this, tell me what you think now that its finished.**

Rating: M

Disclaimer: I do not own Lost or any characters or anything that looks familiar. Natalie is my character.

Feedback: Please let me know what you think

* * *

Over the next few days Natalie wasn't talking much to anyone not even Sawyer. Sawyer really didn't know what to do for her anymore. She was having a hard time dealing with the fact she shot someone. She wouldn't talk to Jack either. Today Natalie was sitting inside Sawyer's tent reading a book, trying to read a book. Sawyer walked over and sat down by her.

"Shortcake," he said softly. "I wish you would talk to me," he added.

"I'm ok," she replied.

"No you're not," Sawyer said grabbing the book from her.

"Hey!" she exclaimed.

"You weren't reading it, you've been on the same page for at least twenty minutes." He said. "Come on Natalie talk to me," he pleaded. "Tell me what's going on, what you're thinking about?"

"I don't know what I'm thinking about," she confessed. "All I know is I shot a man I used to love, I mean I was going to have his baby."

"A baby he caused you to lose," Sawyer pointed lose.

"Yeah I know," she sighed. "I shot him but I don't know if I should have."

"Natalie you saved my life," Sawyer told her. "He would have killed me, he tried."

"I know," she said. "The only thing I'm sure of is that I'm glad he didn't kill you, I'm glad you're still here putting up with me," she said softly.

"Well I love you Natalie," Sawyer said.

"I love you to," Natalie said softly and Sawyer brushed the hair away from her face.

"Natalie when's the last time you ate something?" he asked her.

"I don't remember," she admitted. "A few days ago," she said.

"You need to eat Natalie. After all we've been through I'm not losing you now," he said and she smiled slightly. "Will you eat something?" he asked hopefully and she nodded.

"Ok come on," he said. "You haven't even been out of the tent in a few days," he added. "Everyone's worried about you."

"I didn't mean to worry everyone," she said quietly.

"Its ok," Sawyer said. "Now come on," he added and stood up and held his hand out to Natalie. Natalie placed her hand in his and helped her stand up.

"No come on," she said softly and led her outside the tent. When she got outside Natalie felt people looking at her.

"Everyone's looking at me," she said quietly.

"No they're not," Sawyer told her. "Now come on," he told her.

As they were walking to get some food they ran into Jack.

"Natalie," he said relieved. "I'm so glad to see you're out," Jack added and she looked up.

"When's the last time you ate?" Jack asked worried.

"A few days ago," Natalie answered quietly.

"A few days ago," Jack repeated. "Natalie, you need to take better care of yourself," Jack told her. "You should let me check you out."

"No," she said shaking her head.

"Natalie's going to get some food Jack," Sawyer told him. "It can wait," he added and Jack started to argue but looked at Sawyer's face and saw it was no use.

"Bring her by later," Jack told him and he nodded and walked away with Natalie.

* * *

A few minutes later Natalie and Sawyer sat outside their tent eating some fruit and fish.

"Thank you," Natalie said. "For everything." She added and he smiled at her.

"I love you, so you don't have to thank me," he told her and Natalie smiled at him.

"Well I guess I have to go see Jack now," she sighed.

"You don't have to Natalie," Sawyer told her. "Not if you don't want to."

"There's nothing wrong with me, I'm fine," she told Sawyer. "I don't need a doctor, I need my brother."

"Ok then, you won't go," he said laying his hand over hers.

"Thanks," she said.

"I'm going to tell Jack you're not going to make it," Sawyer told him.

"James," Natalie said.

"I'll be nice," he told her and leaned over and kissed her lightly on the lips.

"James," she said tightening her grip on his hand.

"Natalie," he said. "I'll be back I promise," he assured her. "I'll be back," he told her and kissed her again.

"Ok," she said and let go of his hand and he stood up and walked away.

* * *

Sawyer made his way to where Jack would be waiting for Natalie. Sawyer saw him sitting down on a rock.

"Hey Doc," Sawyer said and he looked up.

"Where's Natalie?" he asked.

"She's not coming," Sawyer answered her.

"What?" Jack asked standing up.

"She said she wasn't going to come, so I told her I wouldn't force her," Sawyer told him.

"If something's wrong with her I need to find out," Jack told him.

"Nothing's wrong with Natalie," Sawyer told him. "She shot a guy a few days ago and I'm sure that's kind of messed with her head a little bit," Sawyer went on. "She'll be ok," Sawyer assured. "She doesn't need a doctor, she needs her big brother," he finished and walked away leaving Jack staring at him.

* * *

Jack made his way to see Natalie, he knew she'd be at Sawyer's tent. He thought about what Sawyer said to him. _'she doesn't need a doctor, she needs her big brother,' _Was Sawyer right? When he got to the beach he saw Natalie sitting outside the tent and she was talking to Hurley and actually smiling. Jack walked over.

"Natalie," Jack said and she looked up.

"I'll go," Hurley said. "See you later Natalie."

"Bye Hurley," she said and stood up.

"What is it Jack?" she asked. "Is this a house a call?"

"No," he said. "I'm not here as a doctor, I'm here as your brother."

"Ok," she said quietly.

"Natalie, I'm sorry," Jack said.

"For what?" she asked. "I'm ok Jack," she added. "I'll be fine."

"Good," Jack said and Natalie stepped towards him and hugged him. Jack wrapped his arms around her. "You're my sister Natalie and I love you no matter what, forever," he told her. "Remember all around the world and back again," Jack said quietly. "That's what you used to say."

"Yeah I know." She said. "I love you to Jack, no matter what."

"So we'll be ok?" he asked.

"Of course Jack, you're my brother, the only family I have and we're always ok," she said looking up at him.

"Alright then," he said. "I should go."

"Alright Jack," she said smiling and he walked away.

A few minutes later Sawyer got back.

"Whatever you said worked," she told him.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Don't act stupid it doesn't suit you," she said. "Whatever you said to Jack, he just left."

"He did huh?" Sawyer said smiling.

"Everything's going to be ok, I'm going to be ok," she told him. "I know that now." She went on. "Now that I know everything will be ok between me and Jack, its going to be ok."

"That's good," he said.

"And that everything is ok between us," she said.

"You know everything between us is ok, I love you no matter what," he told her. "I might even marry you if we had someone that could do that."

"Seriously?" she asked surprised.

"Yeah, but I guess we're stuck here together forever," he told her. "But that's ok because I can't think of anyone else I'd rather be stuck with."

"Me either," she agreed. "And if you asked me to marry you, I would," she told him smiling.

"Well that's good to know," he said and slipped his arms around her waist and kissed her.

* * *

The more days that went by the more Natalie got back to being somewhat back to how she was before she shot Johnny. She was walking along the beach by herself thinking about what Sawyer had said a few days ago how he would marry her if there was someone that could marry them.

"You look happy," someone said and she turned around and saw Hurley.

"Hey Hurley, I am kind of."

"What's got you so happy?" he asked.

"Sawyer," she told him.

"Really?"

"Yeah a few days ago, well a few days ago Sawyer told me that if we were somewhere where someone could marry us that he would marry me," she told him. "That's like so not him," she added.

"Yeah I had him as the kind of guy that would never get married," Hurley admitted. "But then you have brought out a side of him no one would have ever believed existed."

"I know, I love him so much and can't imagine ever being without him."

"I'm glad your happy," Hurley said.

"Thanks Hurley," she said. "I'll see you later," she added.

"Alright Natalie," he said and she walked off towards Sawyer.

* * *

"Hey," she said and he turned around.

"Hey Shortcake," he said smiling.

"I love you," she said.

"And I love you to," Sawyer told her. "Forever," he added.

"Yeah Forever," she agreed and they walked back to their tent together.


End file.
